‘Or what? You’ll scream? There’s no one around, Josie. Besides, we’re going for a little drive in a sec. Once I’ve made sure you’re not going anywhere.’ He reaches to the floor and grabs a roll of duct tape, wrapping it around my wrists and ankles so tightly it burns into my skin. Then he reaches into my pocket and grabs my mobile. He’s right about one thing: I’m not going anywhere.
Despite my vulnerable situation, I still refuse to show any fear, even though my insides have turned to liquid. ‘What do you want? Friend of Johnny’s, are you? Or Liv’s? Just get this over with and tell me what the hell you want.’
He laughs. ‘Johnny was right about you – he said you had balls. But I don’t care about that.’ He slams the back door shut and jumps in the driver’s seat. I lurch backwards as he drives off.
‘You’re one of his cousins, aren’t you?’ I think I knew this the second I saw him. He has that same twisted look about him. Similar arrogance in his voice, as if they’ve grown up together and learned from each other.
‘It doesn’t matter who I am. Listen to me. You’re gonna shut the fuck up while I get to where we’re going. And then you’re gonna listen to me and do exactly what I say. Got it?’
I fake a loud, exaggerated laugh. It’s all I can do to stop myself throwing up. ‘Someone’s been watching too many gangster movies, haven’t they?’
But rather than show his anger and hit back with some remark designed to scare me, he says nothing, keeping his eyes fixed on the road. And somehow his lack of words is more sinister than anything he could have said.
During the silence I try to keep calm. This man won’t hurt me, I’m certain of that, or he would have already done it. With a cousin already in prison he’s unlikely to come after the girl who had to put him there.
But the longer he drives, the less convinced I become that he won’t do anything to me. I stare through the window and eventually realise from the signs that we’re heading towards north London. Why is he driving me so far away?
To stop myself thinking about this, I focus on the positive things in my life. There’s Kieren, of course. And my degree. I’ve got to get a good career so that I can look after Kieren and get him away from her. From people like this man. There shouldn’t be a court in the world that will allow him to stay with her if I’m in a strong enough position to oppose it.
And there’s Zach. I replay the conversation we had in his car until I believe his words again. He hasn’t been avoiding me, he’s just busy, a professional man doing his best for his students. I’m not the kind of girl who imagines these kinds of things and I’m not some silly young fool with a crush on her lecturer. This isn’t like that at all. But whatever it is can’t be easily explained.
Human imperfection. That’s all I can describe it as.
Although I’m not familiar with any of the buildings or roads we’re passing through, a sign lets me know we’re in Enfield. I haven’t lived in London long enough to venture much further than the West End, and not knowing where I am makes me feel even more uneasy.
Finally he pulls into a narrow road, just past a large block of flats. Perhaps he lives here. When Liv was with Johnny I spent so little time in his presence that I know barely anything about his family. I only know he has three sisters and loads of cousins, but none of them ever visited the house when I lived there. I try to memorise my surroundings, just in case I make it out of here alive.
He cuts off the engine and turns to face me. ‘Right. This is simple, Josie. I just need you to do one thing. That’s it. One simple little thing, and then you can get on with the cosy little life you’ve made for yourself here in London.’
And now I know what he wants before he even says it. ‘I’m not withdrawing my statement. Never. So you can just kill me right now, if that’s what you want, but it won’t make any difference. That bastard can rot in prison.’
A fist flies into my face, knocking me back against the seat. I want to press my hands to the source of the pain, but they are tied tightly together.
‘Don’t even think about reporting this,’ he says, smirking. ‘I’ve got an airtight alibi and was nowhere near London tonight.’
‘Shame Johnny didn’t have one the night he attacked me, isn’t it?’
‘Attacked’ isn’t even the right word. That suggests it was something quick, spur of the moment, a done in anger kind of thing. But, no, what he did to me was far worse than that.
‘That’s the problem, isn’t it, Josie? It wasn’t Johnny. Never. He wouldn’t do something like that, especially to his girlfriend’s daughter, so why don’t you just be a good little girl for once in your sorry life and admit to the police that you lied?’
‘Why would I lie? What possible reason would I have?’
‘Because you hated Johnny, didn’t you? Jealous, weren’t you? You probably wanted him for yourself and couldn’t stand the thought of your mum having him. Little slut! What were you – seventeen, eighteen? A bloody kid.’
And that’s what makes it so much worse that Liv defended him, refused to believe he’d done that to me. I wasn’t even an adult, not really.
I almost laugh; is this man really saying these words to me? I only ever told the truth, and I won’t lie now to save that monster. ‘You can threaten me all you want, nothing’s worse than what he’s already done.’ I try to keep my voice firm, even though I’m shaking.
He slams his fists on the steering wheel then turns back, grabbing me by the neck. ‘Listen, you little bitch. If you think what he did was bad you’d better think again, because that will seem like a trip to Disneyland compared to what’ll happen if you don’t put this right. Understand?’ He doesn’t wait for an answer. ‘It’s simple. All you have to do is tell the police you lied. Maybe you’ll get in a bit of trouble for that, but believe me, that’s the easier option.’
‘They’ll never believe it. There are photos, evidence of what Johnny did.’
‘Tell them it happened on your way home and it was a stranger. Simple.’ Without any warning he draws a knife from the glove compartment, and just as I’m praying for this to be as painless as possible, he cuts through the duct tape I’m bound with. ‘Now get the hell out of my car. The clock’s ticking, Josie. Tick tock, tick tock.’
* * *
I don’t respond well to threats. There’s too much of a fighter in me, too much stubbornness, which can be an asset but often gets me into trouble. Yes, I’m shaken up as I walk away from that man’s car – I still don’t know his name – but I’m also more determined than I’ve ever been. I won’t be a victim. I had no choice but to become one when Johnny came at me that night, but never again will I let that happen.
Liv, my so-called mother. Johnny. His cousin. Even Alison. ‘Bring it on,’ I scream into the night. ‘I’m ready for you all.’
Chapter Eleven
Mia
* * *
‘Hi. Mia, isn’t it?’ Dominic offers his hand while I can only stare, open-mouthed, unable to form any words or take his hand. ‘I’m so sorry to just turn up like this, but I thought it would be better if we spoke in person. Is that okay?’ When I still can’t speak, he puts his hand down and continues speaking. ‘You probably don’t remember me, but I was a colleague of Zach’s. We spoke at the funeral.’
Finally, I find my voice, but the frown remains on my face. I know why he’s here – Alison must have told him I followed him home the other day, and he’s about to tell me to back off. ‘Yes, I remember. Um…’
‘I can see you’re confused, and rightly so, but could we just have a quick chat? I won’t take up too much of your time, I know how busy you must be. How is your little one? I remember her being about two, so she must be seven now?’
This is strange. It doesn’t add up; his voice is apologetic – kind, even – when he should be angry.
I tell him he’s right, that Freya’s seven now, but make no move to let him in. ‘What’s this about, Dominic?’
He lets out a heavy sigh. ‘I know Alison came to see you on Wednesday, and I just thought I’d better explain a few things.’