I turn and look into those blue eyes of his as he talks, it’s funny how the colour changes slightly depending on the topic of conversation, the depth of his love for his daughter is so apparent in his voice, it makes me ache for my sons, my babies. I feel so cut off from them at the moment. Estranged, I think is the word. He continues…
“So, that's how come I never had any kind of relationship with my wife, ex-wife; we never even had sex, after the marriage at least. I haven't really had a relationship with any woman. There's been lots of one night stands, a few dates and a couple of two weekers but nothing more than that and that's suited me fine. Work and my properties keep me busy; I surf whenever I have any spare time. I go to the gym, I run. We have a couple of horses that I like to see race when I can, other than that, I'm in the pub like any other bloke or I'm spending time with my daughter”
We have ended up on each other’s side of the bed, propped up on our elbows, facing each other. I've listened to all that he’s said in silence, trying to remember every detail.
“I'm not a complicated bloke Lauren, I've never had my heart broken, except by the death of my mother, which I think is the reason I have never really put myself out there, that pain is still almost too much to bear and I never want to feel like that again. Perhaps I'm a coward but I can live with that, well I could, then you come along and boom, I'm doing and feeling all the things I've spent most my life trying to avoid” He leans in and kisses me. “So now you know, in fact, you now know more than most of my family”
Wow, intense, so much to take in. He is just so honest, I don’t know if I can ever be like that, it’s not that I ever want to lie to him but I just don’t have the confidence to leave myself so wide open to ridicule or criticism.
“Would you like a coffee?” he asks
“I would love a coffee, thank you”
He gets up, naked, and heads out of the bedroom
“You still have the best arse I've ever seen” I shout as he goes out of the door. He keeps going. I feel, silly and giggly, like a school girl and I pull the sheet over my head as I laugh. I get up and use the bathroom, have a quick freshen up and lay back in bed with just a sheet over me, trying to look as seductive as possible. He walks back in carrying a tray but still wearing nothing but a smile. I shake my head and smile back at him. His man bits, ever so slightly erect are bouncing and dangling about as he walks and I can't help but keep looking back. He puts the tray, loaded with coffee and toast down onto the chest beside me
“You like?”
“Hell yeah. Who doesn't like coffee and toast bought to them in bed?” I say with a smile. He climbs into bed beside me and passes my coffee and a slice of buttery toast.
“Especially when served by a naked waiter, with a banging bod” I reply as I dunk my toast into my coffee
“That’s truly disgusting” he states.
“Ohhhh I don't know, disgusting is a bit harsh, I think you're pretty hot” Knowing that's not what he was getting at.
“Pfftt not me, I'm fucking well fit and you know it. I'm talking about you, dunking your toast” I laugh and almost choke on my toast
“Oh well. You best get used to it baby, coz YOLO and all that. This is the new me and I'm learning from you, not to give a fuck. If I want it, I'm going for it and I’m gonna have it”
“Yeah?” He asks
“Hell yeah” I reply
“Does that include me?”
I finish my coffee.
“Yes, it most definitely includes you”
My heart rate is increasing and I can feel myself flush as my belly flips over.
“So, do you want me?” he asks
“Yes, I want you”
“Right now?”
“Yes, right now”
I can barely breathe, my heart feels like it’s bouncing off my ribcage, on its way up to my throat and I feel light headed, dizzy, I swallow hard and try to focus, he has no idea how hard it is for me to say these things out loud.
“Lauren?”
“Yes”
“Tell me. How, how do you want me, what do you want me to do to you?”
He puts his cup down and leans over to me
“Do you want me to kiss you?” he asks
“Yes” I pant the word more than say it. I think I might actually explode. We are both breathing heavily
“Where, where do want me to kiss you?” Oh shit, I can’t do this; I have lost the power of speech. I must look like a rabbit caught in the headlights as I just stare back at him. What do I say, what do I say?
“Tell me baby, please, I want to hear you, I want you to show me”
He is speaking so softly to me. My skin is on fire, I don’t know if the burning I feel is showing on the outside but I can most definitely feel it on the inside. How does he do this to me? I could lay here with him and just have an orgasm from his words, from watching his mouth, those full soft lips and those eyes, oh those eyes. I have to close mine, just for a few seconds.