“You said to me before, that you'd never had a meaningful relationship with a woman, apart from your family members but what about your wife, you had a child together, surely that was meaningful?”
He shrugs. “This is going to make me sound like a right prick, Nina was only ever meant to be a one night stand but I was so drunk, I fell asleep in her bed and was woken up in the middle of the night to her sucking my cock, so in my drunken, sleep affected state, I let her climb on top and fuck me. I got up in the morning and left, not giving her or my actions a second thought. She called a few times and tried to hook up again but I wasn't interested, then she turned up a few times at the pub, so and I'm not proud of this, I made a point of hitting on other girls in front of her, just to give her the hint that I wasn't interested. I heard nothing from her for a few months, and then she turns up at my door telling me she's pregnant and the babies mine. I tell her that I don't believe her but she shows me her pregnancy test results from the doctors, her appointment letter for her ultra sound and the dates matched up. I'm still not convinced and not sure what to do but in the end I just say that I'll be there for her and to let me know what she needs. My plan was to keep my distance and then get a paternity test done as soon as the bub arrives. She asks me to go with her when she has the scan so I do, thinking it would give me the chance to ask the doctors some questions about her due date, I was young and really had no fucking clue about babies. But going with her, that was my undoing. As soon as I see that little tadpole, with that little heart beating and they tell me I have a daughter on the way, I'm just blown away. All I want to do is protect and look after my child and to do this, I have to look after the woman that's carrying her. I was living in Elwood at the time so I move her in with me, into the spare bedroom and keep her safe and well, I pay all her medical bills so she can go private. Then out of nowhere when she's about six months pregnant, Nina tells me that she loves me and wants a real relationship and for us to be a proper family and if I don’t want the same thing, then she's going to live in Perth with her parents and start a new life. I couldn't bear the thought of her taking my child away so I ask her to marry me, thinking that would buy me some time, until I know for sure if the baby was mine. We marry a week later, I don't lover her, I'm not even sure I like her that much and there is no physical attraction, on my part at least. Which isn't really a problem when she's pregnant or for the first month after Ava was born but after that, it's totally obvious to her, I'm not interested in her in that way. When Ava is three months old, I come home from work to pick up some drawings that I had left behind that morning and catch her in bed with some old boyfriend of hers. I know it was my fault, I wasn’t interested in having sex with her and I couldn't give her what she needed so I can’t blame her for looking elsewhere, I had been doing it the whole time we had been together but I had always been discreet. I still needed sex, just not with her but I always went out of town for a one night stand, I never fucked anyone in our home, or our bed, with our daughter sleeping in the next room” He rakes his hand through his hair, I’m something I’ve noticed he does when his stressed, his eyes are searching mine, trying to gauge my reaction to what he’s in the process of confessing to me. “So, I kicked shit out of the bloke, threw him out, packed my bags, and told her she could keep the house, I would pay her bills and give her an allowance but I wanted access to my daughter whenever I liked. If she ever played up and denied me access, that would be it, I would go for full custody, and she wouldn't get a penny. I walked out the door, went straight to our family solicitors, and started divorce proceedings. I’m not proud of any of my actions but I did what I thought was right at the time, there was no way I was going to miss out on my daughter growing up, I wanted to be part of her life, if Nina hadn’t made the threats to take her away in the beginning, I might not of over reacted in the way I did, but I was terrified of losing her, and I don’t handle loss well. So we have agreed to share custody of Ava all of her life. Nina and I get on okay, she’s been remarried for about five years now, and surprisingly my daughter has grown into a beautiful, well-adjusted young woman, who spends most weekends and most of her school holidays with me. She usually comes with a mate in tow now as she gets bored on her own but that's fine. We get on great and are close. I love her like nothing on earth. I would happily die for her, you’re a mum Lauren, you know how it is”