“You said nothing, she, she said that it was my fault and you said nothing, I called you, I called and I text and nothing, you just left me.” I manage not to cry, he grips the back of my hair and pulls me to him and kisses my forehead.
“We have done nothing but argue, nonstop, she has threatened all sorts, she said that she would stop Ava coming to stay with us, she…she’s jealous of you Lauren, even before the accident, she hates how well you and Ava get along and she’s made a few snide comments these last few months and then a couple of weeks ago, just after she had the new baby, her and Ava blued and Ava told her she wanted to come and live with us, she called me at work and said that we were brainwashing her daughter, trying to turn her against her and saying that she would go to court and stop me seeing her, I spoke to Dean, her husband, he said he thinks she’s suffering from post natal depression and she’s been behaving erratically for a while, he said he would talk to her. Then this all happened and she just hasn’t let up. If I had said anything, if I had defended you in front of her, I don’t know how it might have ended up.”
He gives me a little half smile, “I know what you’re like, I thought you might punch her if she said anything, I had a vision of you smashing her around the head with your cast, which I actually wouldn’t mind but not there, not at my daughter’s bedside.” His eyes fill with tears and I hold him tighter. I understand why he said nothing a bit clearer now but he could have said something.
“When you left, I wanted to come after you but I needed to put her straight so I stayed and told her, I told her that not only was I lucky to have found someone like you, someone that loved me unconditionally, despite my faults, my issues and my past, but I was lucky in that, in you, I had found someone that loved my daughter too, loved and treated my daughter as if she were her own and she had better wake up to herself and realise that it was you that I was with, you that I will be marrying and not one of the nameless skanks I’ve fucked my way through the past twenty years, who would never give a shit about Ava.”
He kisses me gently on the mouth, “Don’t ever think that I think you are in any way to blame for that accident, it was what it was, an accident and please don’t ever think that I wouldn’t defend you, stick up for you against anyone, ever. That song, that song that’s been on repeat since I got here, listen to those words Lauren, listen to those words and try and understand exactly what you mean to me, what I would do for you.”
Poor old Adele is still in the bathroom singing the words that I want him to understand, I want him to get it, I want him to know how I feel, “Works both ways Gabe, I had that song on repeat because it’s how I feel about you but you don’t seem to get it, the things you said to me about Jay, all the time, you always assume that I am going back to him, why, why would I ever do that?”
“You were kissing him.”
“I was not kissing him, he kissed me, there is a huge difference.”
“You married him, you stayed married to him but you won’t marry me.”
“Yes I will.”
“Despite everything he did, for all these…What, what did you say?”
“I said, yes I will, I will marry you, if you still want to marry me.”
“Lauren, seriously. Don’t fuck with me.”
“Gabe, I’m not fucking with you, if you still want me, then yes I will marry you.”
He flips me onto my back and slides off the bed and onto the floor; he pulls me up into a sitting position as he kneels in front of me, between my legs and takes hold of my left hand and looks up at me.
“Lauren, I want to do this properly, I want to blow you away, I want there to be fireworks and champagne but mostly I just want you to know, I want you to understand exactly what you mean to me… we, us, what we have is beyond anything I think either of us could ever have imagined or hoped for, you are my other half, without you I just exist, I need you to make me more, to make me a better person. You are beautiful both inside and out, you are funny and sexy, you are clever, warm and loving, you have a temper as fiery as your red hair and you both swear and snore like a wharfie. You can drink most men under the table and you have the best pair of tits, ever; every single day you make me feel worthy. You see beyond my face, which let’s face it can’t be easy, because it is just stunning, you deal with my past and the shit you have to deal with because of it and every day, no matter what, you keep loving me and you keep making me feel that I am worth loving. I absolutely promise you here and now, I will spend the rest of my life, loving, worshiping and adoring you and I promise that at every opportunity I will have you coming like a steam train. Please, will you marry me?”
I give him a shrug and a small smile, “Yes, yes I will marry you.”
He kisses across my knuckles, “Thank you, I won’t let you down.”
“You better not”.
“Can we go to the hospital and tell Ava.”