I smile at her sweetly. Why? Why did I say that?
“And where is the man who can’t keep it in his pants? Fucking one of the nurses in a store room most likely.”
“Actually, he’s in the shower and I think that sex is the furthest thing from his mind right now, all things considered.”
That wipes the smile off her face, cheeky bitch, although give her her due, she won that round. Gabe emerges from the bathroom right on cue; his hair is wet and combed back off his face, he’s wearing a grey hoodie and jeans, with just thongs on his feet, he looks so much better than he did just half an hour ago and he must feel better too because he gives me just a little smile as his eyes meet mine.
“So here’s the man of the moment, why did you leave my daughter with the woman that helped put her in a coma?”
What. The. Fuck? I open my mouth to defend myself but nothing comes out. I know that my mouth is hanging open but I can’t close it, did she really just say that? I look across to Gabe, he looks down at the floor. The ground, the earth, the world begins to fall away from underneath me; I feel myself sway, I want to cry, I want to be sick, I want Gabe to defend me but he just keeps staring down at the floor.
SHE, She, makes that snorty laugh sound again; she has a smile on her nasty thin lips as she shakes her head at me, like I’m shit on her shoe. I fight so hard not to cry, I don’t dare speak because I know the tears will come, my bottom lip is trembling and he still just stands there, not defending me, not looking at me, not saying anything. Does he think that too, do they all think I am to blame for Ava being here? I have this horrible, overwhelming sense of injustice, the feeling takes me back to being a small child, when you’re blamed for something you didn’t do, but nobody wants to listen to you, everybody thinks you’re guilty. I need to go, I need to get out of here, away from them, away from all of this. I go over to Ava and kiss her cheek and whisper
“I love you baby girl, I would never, ever do anything to hurt you, please get well and come back to us.”
I turn and walk towards the door.
“Lauren, wait, she didn’t mean…”
I keep walking; I’ve never felt so alone in all my life.
CHAPTER 16
I make my way out to the lifts. I’m going to have to go back to the hotel room and calm myself down, and then I will have a ring around and see if someone can come and pick me up and take me home, home? Do I still have a home, does he still want me? Does he blame me? The doors to the lift open and I wait for the people to get out before I step in, the doors close and I’m on my own and for three floors I fight with everything I have not to cry. I manage to make it all the way back to the hotel without shedding a single tear, how I hold down the overwhelming sense of panic I’m feeling though, I will never know!