Wednesday is a sunny day; I sometimes wonder if funerals are sadder in the sun or the rain; if it’s sunny, it makes me feel sad for all the beautiful days the person being buried will never get to see and if it’s raining, well it just makes you feel miserable all round. I hadn’t been involved in the funeral plans and by all accounts nobody other than Charlie had either, he had left strict instructions with his lawyers on how he wanted the day to go. The funeral party would leave from the house Gabe grew up in Mount Eliza, I didn’t even know they still owned this house but I could see why Charlie would have wanted to hang onto it, it was in a beautiful spot with fantastic views across the bay and towards the city, the house is dated but will make a fantastic fixer upper for someone. Gabe’s family and extended family are all gathered there and there are lots of introductions of aunties, uncles and cousins from both of his parent’s sides. He hasn’t let go of my hand the whole hour we have been here and when the hearse pulls up with his Dads coffin in, I’ve never seen such a pained expression on his face and I really think for a minute his legs are going to go from under him.
He starts to cry and I can hear the panic in his voice, “I can’t do this, Lauren please, don’t make me go out there. I can’t do this.”
Ava starts to sob loudly as she watches her Dad fall apart; luckily Jo and Jake have arrived after I messaged Jo and asked if they would come here first because I was worried about Gabe and knew Jake would know how to handle him. My head is pounding as I start to panic but Jake steps in and wraps Ava in his arms and holds her tight.
I turn my attention back to Gabe. My heart breaks for him, my hero; my saviour is falling apart in front of me. Dads are special and I know the mess I had been at my own Dad’s funeral, I only got through it thanks to Jemma stopping me from hyperventilating and I think this is what Gabe is on the verge of now and I know I need him to calm his breathing and focus, “Breathe baby, it will be fine, we will get through this, I’m right here with you, your brothers are here, Stella is here, we are all here, we will all get through this together, look at me baby…look at me… Gabe.”
I hold his face in my hands and kiss his mouth and I can taste the salt from our tears, “I love you and we will get through this for Charlie, okay? I can’t change any of this; I can’t make it go away but I will be there, with you and for you, every step of the way.”
I nod my head as I look into his eyes and he eventually nods back, “I love you, let’s do this.”
He grips my good hand so hard I think that it will surely end up in a cast too. Jackie has kept herself hidden in a bedroom until it is time to leave so I haven’t had chance to see her. As much as I loathe the woman, she has lost her husband and I am respectful of that but that is as far as my feelings go; she comes past us with an entourage of her family members, stopping to say hello and accept condolences from the mourners gathered at the house on her way out to the car, she stops level with me, Gabe and Ava.
She goes to put her hand on Gabe’s arm but he moves it before she makes contact so instead she strokes Ava’s face and looks at me, “I’m glad you two ladies are on the mend.”
Ava lets out a sob and buries herself into her Dad’s side. We share a Limo with Stella and Zac and Sam’s two eldest boys; we ride in complete silence. When we get to the church, there are people everywhere, a testament to what a beautiful and well-loved person Charlie was. Gabe, his two brothers and the eldest three grandsons act as pall bearers and carry Charlie’s coffin into the church, the rest of the family follow in behind, I have my arms around Ava on one side and Stella on the other, it is the only time Gabe let’s go of me completely throughout the entire day.
The service is sad, happy and beautiful, a celebration more than a memorial, people tell funny stories, that make people both laugh and cry and Charlie’s favourite pieces of music are played, as funeral services go, it is fairly up beat, just as Charlie had wanted. The wake is held at the local yacht club and there must be a couple of hundred people here, as with these things, the day is long and draining and using Ava as our excuse, we say our goodbyes and head home after just an hour of being there.