“Damon!” She chastised, slapping my arm lightly. “I don’t think I could go again for a while.”
Neither could I, but for a completely different reason. I wanted to be able to slot back into my pre-Nell life but she’d been around for six years and it was hard to re-adjust. There had been a few girls while me and Nell were fucking around too. It was never as good, never felt as right as it did with her, which was why I barely went there, but I was still able to do it then without all this guilt.
Today was my third time with Emma and I knew that would be it. Things with Nell started as a couple nights when her friends merged with mine for the first time, and there was absolutely no way I was getting myself into another situation like that.
Emma rolled off the bed and started getting dressed. My suit jacket was lying by the door and the pinstripe shirt was near it. Thankfully my charcoal trousers were beside the sofa so I dumped the condom in the bin, slipped the trousers on and waited for Emma.
“Okay,” she said, swiping her heels from the floor. “I’m ready.”
She didn’t look ready. She looked like she’d just been fucked. Her hair was no longer sleek and styled from where she’d been throwing it around, her mascara had smudged, and her cheeks were flushed.
I nodded and walked to the front door. “Take care of yourself,” I said.
She smiled and then kissed my cheek, knowing that we were done now and sex for us was off the menu. “You too, Damon.”
My phone started to ring behind me. I gave Emma one last nod of the head, closed the door and went to answer.
I took a breath before I picked up. “Hey, Logan.”
“Hey,” he replied, sounding stressed. “Look I know you and Nell aren’t seeing each other anymore but I think she needs you.”
My heart started to race. Why? “What’s going on? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, physically anyway. Her mum died today, at the hands of her dad. She’s at the hospital still. Chloe’s going up there now.”
I swallowed hard. “Her mum. Shit! Okay, I’m leaving now. Do you know where in the hospital?”
“Her mum was taken to A&E, so I assume there.”
“Okay, thanks for letting me know, man.”
“No worries, I’m glad you’re going to her.”
I loved her, so I would always go to her, no matter how much she’d hurt me.
“Of course. Speak later.”
“Bye,” he said and hung up.
For a second I was frozen. How would Nell be? I didn’t even know if she’d want me there but there was no way I wouldn’t go. Even if she told me to turn around when she saw me, I was still going to try.
My muscles finally unlocked and I grabbed my clothes up, dashing to the bedroom. I chucked the old ones to the side and threw on and a pair of jeans and t-shirt. Guilt burned me from the inside out. While I was fucking someone else she was at the hospital dealing with her mum’s death.
I would never forgive myself. She needed me and I was having it away with a girl I’d met a week earlier. My chest felt tight as I dressed as quickly as I could and ran my hands through my hair. Thankfully it didn’t show that I’d just been fucked the way Emma did. But I could smell her still.
There was no time for a shower so I sprayed deodorant and aftershave and hoped for the best.
It took me twenty minutes to get to the hospital and on the way I called Chloe, who was also just arriving. “Damon!” She called, running towards me from the opposite side of the car park. “I’m so glad you came too.”
“Have you heard from her?”
Chloe nodded with tears in her eyes. “She text me and I spoke to her nan. I was on my way back from a venue viewing with a bride so I’ve just got here. I can’t believe it.”
Neither could I. Logan only knew the basics, nothing in depth that told us what went down there.
“What happened?” I asked as we walked through the sliding doors into the building, both heading towards the desk halfway down the large reception and waiting room.
“I’m not sure. Her Nan just said that her parents had an argument that resulted in her mum falling down the stairs. Apparently she died instantly but was brought here. I don’t know if we should be here or at the morgue so we need to find someone.”
“Jesus.” That was rough.
We were almost at the desk when I heard my name being called. I stopped dead in my tracks. It was her voice but it was so low and broken.
“Nell,” Chloe said, spinning around and darting back the way we came. I looked over and Nell was sitting down to the left of the entrance, staring up at us. She looked so devastated it took my breath away.
Chloe dropped to her knees in front of her and whispered Nell’s name.
All I could do was watch for a second. I was so completely in love with her, it physically hurt to see her in pain. Unable to stand back any longer and just needing to try to make things better, I walked towards her and prepared to be whatever she needed me to be.
Nell