“Baby, what’s going on?” He said with concern etched through his voice.
She watched on as her father got into the truck slowly pulled out of the spot. She watched through the side view mirror as his car turned off the main road.
“I just saw my father.” She said and as the words came out of her mouth she couldn’t believe did. She had blocked him from her head. Sure, she wondered where he was from time to time. She wondered if he was alive and if he was still the miserable man who destroyed her childhood.
“What?” Luke asked, confused and then decided it didn’t matter. He heard the strain in her voice. “Nevermind, you can tell me when I pick you up. Where are you?”
“He has a daughter.” She said more to herself than to Luke. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the headrest. At that moment, every horrible memory she had surfaced, every wound reopened. She remembered running from her house to Jake’s. She remembered hiding her bruises with a baseball cap. She remembered that at fifteen years old, she basically left home and he never had even looked for her. Her father had never once reached out to her. It was as if Cara had died along with her mother. Since her mother died, that’s what she felt anyway. She always wondered if he wished she would’ve died instead of her mom.
“Cara, you need to tell me where you are. I can’t help you if I’m not there with you.” She heard Luke plead softly into the phone.
The pain cut deep, like it always did when she allowed herself to go down that path. The pain of feeling not good enough, not accepted, never loved. She closed her eyes and tried to fight off her demons, struggling not to let them take her over.
“I need a pill.” She heard herself say. That’s right, she wanted to wash away her troubles, she wanted a quick fix. Desperation clawed her, tearing at her sobriety.
“You listen to me, Cara and listen to me good. You take a pill, he wins. Every shitty thing in your life that that man caused can be put to bed. You don’t need to let him take any more of your life from you.” Luke said firmly, praying to God he was getting through to her.
Tears fell from her eyes as she listened to Luke. “He has another daughter…” She whispered into the phone.
“Baby, I know you’re hurting. Please let me help you.” He was beginning to sound desperate.
She wiped her cheeks with the back of her free hand. She took a deep breath and dug deep into her soul, pulling out whatever courage she could find. “I’m going to come back to Riverdale. I’m going to go to a meeting. I’m going to be okay.” She paused. “I’m not going to relapse. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to be okay, right Luke?”
“Right baby.” He whispered and took a deep breath. “You’re upset though. I can come and pick you up. I’ll take you to the meeting.”
“I can do it.” She said affirmatively. “I’ll be okay.” She said knowing that this was a part of her recovery. She had to get herself to a meeting and fight the urge to take the pills. She needed to get a grip on herself and she needed to be her own goddamn hero. She gripped the steering wheel. “I’m going to hang up so I can drive.”
“Please be careful.” He said hoarsely and he never received a response. She ended the call and prepared to save herself from the latest tragedy to turn her life upside down.
*
Luke sat in his living room with his elbows on his knees, his foot tapping impatiently as he watched his daughter continue to make a gingerbread house on the coffee table. It had been almost three hours since he had spoken to Cara. Not a word. Not a phone call. He was a nervous wreck. He wanted to hold onto faith and believe she would get her ass to a meeting, but that shit was hard and he wasn’t going to pretend he knew the struggle. Truth was, he had no idea what she was going through, but he did know she had worked so hard the last couple of months. He didn’t remember the whole back story of Cara and her father, didn’t even know if he ever really knew. It was as if she just showed up one day at his parent’s house and never left.
The doorbell rang and Luke sprung to his feet immediately he bent down, placing a quick kiss to his daughter’s head. Ava raised her eyebrows curiously, but didn’t move as she continued to apply the frosting to the walls of her gingerbread house. Luke reached the front door and pulled it open, his coat and keys already in his free hand.
He met Sam’s worried gaze and then turned and looked at Nick, who wore a blank expression.
“The roads are bad, watch yourself.” Nick stated.
“Thanks for coming.” Luke said while he shrugged on his coat.
“Still haven’t heard from her?” Sam asked worriedly.
Luke shook his head quickly before he stepped around them. “Ava’s in the living room.”
He said, jogging towards his truck, the snow heavy as it fell around him. Sam sighed heavily and walked into the house, leaving Nick standing in the doorway watching after Luke, wondering if he’d ever quit chasing away everyone else’s problems.