Cara smiled at the little framed sonogram photo that stood in front of Jake’s headstone and placed the little fresh Christmas tree she had bought beside it. She ran her fingertips along his name as she always did.
“Hi my love. It’s almost Christmas… the first Christmas without you. Luke, Ava and I went to the Christmas tree lot yesterday. We got the biggest Spruce they had.” She laughed. “Your brother, he sucks with a saw, by the way. I don’t think I have ever heard him curse as much as he did trying to saw down that tree. You would’ve got a kick out of it.” Her laugh turned to a sad smile, thinking of all he was missing. “Anyway, we managed to get it back to his house and started decorating it. Luke had a very sad collection of ornaments so we ran back out and loaded a cart full. We put a white dove on top of the tree, right under the star, and we told Ava it symbolized you and that you would be watching over us Christmas morning.” She paused. “I don’t need a white dove to know you’re always with me. I know you are and I know you know that I’m opening my heart again. The last time I was here I asked you to look after Luke. I told you he deserves to smile and I wanted you to know that he smiles a lot now and the kind of smiles that reach all the way up to his eyes. When he smiles at me he does it not only with his mouth but with his eyes. It’s genuine and every time he smiles a part of me wonders if it was you who sent us to one another. I wonder if you sent Luke to me, so that I would be the one to make him smile.” She blew out a deep breath. “I like to think you did and that you’re just as happy he’s smiling as I am.” She sighed. “I never thought Luke could be my second chance, Jake.”
A snowflake fell onto her nose and then another and another after that. She lifted her head and watched as the skies opened and snow flurries fell all around her. She opened her palm and watched them fall into her hand. Once a few had landed in the palm of her hand, she closed her fist and brought it over her heart. She looked back at Jake’s head stone and smiled.
“Thank you…” She whispered.
December 12
Luke stared at the envelope in his hand, not understanding why he couldn’t bring himself to open it. Instead of leaving it tucked away in the corner of his mirror, he now carried it in his pocket. Hoping to find the courage at any point to open it and not have an excuse not to. If he carried it with him at all times whenever the mood struck him, he had it, but that moment hadn’t come yet. He folded the envelope and slipped it back into his pocket. He stood up and made his way across the wooden dance floor. Six lessons down and he now knew how to roll his hips. He shook his head, still not believing he allowed his sister to sign him up for Salsa dancing lessons.
December 13
“Aunt Sam open this one next!!” Ava said as she handed her a small box wrapped in white.
Sam adjusted the sash that lay across her chest and read “Bride-To-Be” and took the present that her niece handed her. “There’s no card.”
Cara lifted her head and watched as she tore at the paper and opened the small square box. She thought back to the day, not long after Jake had passed, when she came across a box that held journals and mementoes that he had been collecting throughout the course of his illness. He had left behind a list of specific instructions for whoever found the box. The little box that Sam was opening was to be given to her on or before her wedding day. It had been wrapped in white and Cara had never opened it. So she was just as curious as Sam, to see what it was.
Sam gasped as she looked down at the closed box that had writing on it. A handwriting that was so familiar that she hadn’t expected to ever see again. Tears slid down her face as she read the note.
“Sam, pin this to your bouquet on your wedding day. Tell Pop I wanted to help him give our girl away on her special day. All my love, Jake.”
Cara stood up and walked over to sit beside Sam, wrapping her arm around her shoulders as she opened the box with her hands that trembled. There lay an antique silver pin framing the tiniest photo of Jake smiling.
December 14
Cara knocked on the office door at Lanza Automotive before she stepped in and looked over at Nick, who was scratching his head as he chewed on the end of his pen. He lifted his gaze from the sheet of paper he was staring out.
“Am I interrupting?” She asked.
Nick shook his head. “Is there a time limit on how long your vows can be?”
She smiled and shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“How the hell is someone supposed to say everything they feel about the person they are marrying? I mean Sam said the ceremony is only like thirty minutes.” He lifted all the papers he had, half of them crumbled into balls, some of them with lines crossed out and the rest underlined to emphasize the important words. “The baby will be born before I’m done.” He said, exasperated, dropping the papers back onto the desk.