“At first I felt like I was betraying Jake and then it started to feel as if I was betraying all of you.” She shook her head. “I don’t want that. I don’t want you ever to think that I ever intended for this to happen, but I couldn’t stop it either, and I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t. I can’t take back what happened to Jake. I can’t bring him back, no matter how much I want to. But I can make peace with the fact that he is in better place and he isn’t suffering anymore. I can believe in my heart that he’d want me to be happy. He’d want his brother to be happy too, and if we could be the people to make one another happy, I think Jake would be okay with that.”
Deb nodded and for the first time she broke eye contact, looking down at the counter top. “My Jake, had a big, big heart.” She smiled sadly, still keeping her eyes down. “After your accident, I told you that Jake would want you to live your life. He’d want you to experience life’s greatest milestones.” She finally raised her head and met Cara’s hazel eyes. “I believe that with my whole heart. I also believe that he’d want the same for his brother. Way before Jake even was diagnosed, he wanted those things for Luke. The heart wants what the heart wants, Cara I of all people know that better than anyone.” She released a shaky breath. “I was engaged before I married Joe.” Cara’s eyes widened in surprise but she recovered quickly. “I was engaged to his brother Vincent.”
“Wow, I didn’t even know Joe had a brother.” She said softly, wondering why no one had ever mentioned this before. If her head wasn’t spinning from her visit with her father, it sure as shit was on a merry go round now.
“He passed away before we were ever able to set a date.” Deb explained. “He was in a fatal car accident that took his life. I never even got to say goodbye. By the time Joe had picked me up and we went to the hospital, he was already pronounced dead.” Her heart suddenly felt heavy for all the loss she and Joe had endured. “I don’t remember much, most of it I blocked out of my head years ago. I remember the pain, though, and I remember the one who brought me out from that dark place I was headed was Joe.” She let go of Cara’s hand and walked around the breakfast bar, taking a seat beside her. “My children don’t even know. It’s something we never really discussed, Joe and I. I guess we never really saw the point after all these years. We both have a hollow place in our hearts for Vincent. I still think of him from time to time, in fact, that’s where Sam gets her blue eyes from.” She smiled. “Every time I look into the eyes of my daughter, I think they are a gift from Vincent, that, he never really left us, because his spirit was within our family. The family Joe and I created.”
“I don’t know what to say…” Cara said honestly. Did she say she was sorry for her loss? And then she wondered if down the line, after the years had passed her by, would she tell her own story, and people would feel the exact same way she did at that moment listening to Deb’s. If Vincent hadn’t passed away, would Deb and Joe have had a chance at the love they shared? Would they have had the family that they did? She thought back to her dream of Jake and how he had told her that he wasn’t meant to be her forever but to be the one that led her to her forever.
“Losing Vincent must’ve been very hard on you.” Cara said and then hesitated for a moment before she gave Deb a gift from her son, his words. “But maybe Vincent wasn’t meant to be the man you spent your whole life with. Instead, he was meant to lead you to the person you would.”
Deb looked at Cara, letting her words sink in, she smiled. “That may be true.” She tilted her head to the side and looked at Cara, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “Just like Jake led you to Luke.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to her forehead. “My only wish for you and Luke is that you have a long lifetime full of love and happiness, just as Joe and I have. Make each other happy and love one another with everything you have.” She pulled back, cupping Cara’s face, she stared into her eyes with a soft smile on her face. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too.” Cara said and let the tears finally break from her eyes. “Thank you.” She whispered.
Deb drew her into her arms and hugged her as only Deb could, with everything she had.
The Lanza’s didn’t do anything halfheartedly, least of all love and affection, that, they got from their mother.
Joe strutted into the kitchen, stopping short, on his way to the fridge, spotting Cara and Deb in their embrace. Deb looked over Cara’s shoulder at her husband and smiled at him.
“Everything okay in here?” Joe asked casually as the two women broke apart and glanced at him.
“I was just telling Cara a bit of our story.” Deb said before standing up and walking over to her husband.
“Pretty good story, no?” Joe asked Cara, throwing a wink in for good measure.
“One of the best ever written.” Cara said sincerely.
“Makes you want to go write your own, no?” Joe smiled at her before looking at his wife. “When is dinner going to be done?”
Deb rolled her eyes. “Something’s never change…”
Cara laughed slightly before sliding off the stool. “I’ve got to get to Luke.”