Maggie growls in frustration. Leaning against the wall, she digs out a piece of gum from her pocket.
"I was in love back in high school. He was a jock, but sensitive. He wrote stupid songs about birds and heartbeats. I loved him so much I went into withdrawal when we were apart."
Relieved not to have her pawing at me with her claw fingers, I ask, "So what happened to lover boy?"
"Dumped me when he went to college. Broke my fucking heart."
"Nice story."
Maggie gives me a side-glance. "Love hurts when it ends, but I'd still do it again even knowing he was gonna ditch me. The good was worth the bad."
"I'm not in love."
"Are you sure? Don't take this wrong, but you're really fucking stupid. It's quite possible you really don't know you're in love."
"Fuck off, Maggie."
She grins. "That girl Bebe can't hold her liquor and she talks too fucking much, but I think she loves you too. You could be happy if you weren't so fucking stupid. I mean, you're sweeter than your brother, and he fell in love."
"I am sweeter than him. I'm actually better than him in a lot of ways."
"I know, but Ford's going home to his woman tonight, and you're in here with me. You might be better in a lot of ways, but smarter ain't one of them."
Cracking my knuckles, I nod. "I don't know about my heart, but my dick doesn't want you."
"Poetic, baby. I'm going back to work."
Maggie leaves me in the storage closet, and I stand alone like a lost kid. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
I walk out of the storage closet and head outside. Passing by Ford, I flip him off and keep going. My laughing brother follows me into the cold night. I don't know where to go or what to do. Home isn't an option when Bebe and Lula live there now too.
Grabbing me by the jacket, Ford pulls me away from the people hanging out in the parking lot.
"Listen to me," he says in a rough voice. "All you need to do is say the words."
"Back off."
I try to shove him away, but Ford's playing big brother and won't budge.
"When you were twelve, we'd gone back to Marcy's house. You were being such a fucking shit. Freaking out over everything. I finally beat the hell out of you, and you said the words. You admitted why you were acting like an idiot. Once you said the words, you settled down. Of course, it might have been me kicking your ass that fixed shit, but let's try the words first."
"What fucking words?" I say, elbowing him in the gut.
Ford ignores my attempt to knock him down. "You said you didn't want Mom to come back. You admitted how you really felt, and you were free. Now maybe the words will fix whatever the hell is stuck up your ass."
"I don't know what words will fix anything."
Ford grabs my face, and I think he might kiss me. When he stares into my eyes really deep, I'm sure he's gonna kiss me.
"You say them, and they stay between us," he whispers then tempts me with, "I won't even tell Shay."
Ford's nose is pink, and his breath comes out as smoke. I know the night is cold, but I don't feel it. I'm running hot and even feel like I might puke.
"Say the words. Then we'll see if I need to kick your ass," Ford whispers.
I glance around, looking for an escape. The words need to come out though. Not only to get rid of them, but also to give Ford a secret he can't share with Shay.
"I love Bebe," I whisper.
"I know, brother. I knew you were in trouble the first night at dinner when you acted like a twat. Usually you're pretty smooth with chicks. With Bebe, you said everything fucking wrong."
"What do I do now?"
"I have no idea. How big an asshole were you earlier?"
"Hasn't Shay texted you with the details?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
Stepping back, Ford sighs. "Bad."
"She's better off without me."
"Yeah."
Glaring at Ford, I was expecting him to bullshit me. He shrugs at my angry expression.
"I don't know what to tell you, shithead."
"To be young," Lucky says, strolling over.
No way do I want to get ganged up on by the old-timers. I already feel like a dumb kid. This lecture shit won't help.
Ford gives Lucky the 411, leaving out the love part. Through it all, the older man nods like he's heard it all before. I don't know if I should be offended or relieved.
"Wouldn't it be a pretty splendid world if Bebe married a Dudley Do Right who'd be a super daddy to her kid? Yeah, really happy-ending shit. Except she has an evil ex getting out of prison soon. She comes from a fucked-up line of fucked-up people, and you can't wash that shit off. I like her, but she ain't living her happily ever after with a bank manager like Darby and Jenn are talking about. No, she needs a man who can kill her problems and won't make her feel like a loser for having a dead whore mom."
"So I'm the best she can do?" I balk, offended for both Bebe and me.
"Yeah, basically."