Where the Memories Lie

 

Yes, it all made perfect sense. Tom had lied to everyone and covered up Katie’s death because he’d been protecting Ethan all this time.

 

253

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Nine

 

 

I got through the morning in a kind of daze. I phoned Charlotte to wish her good luck at the consultant’s appointment later that afternoon, but there was no answer on the house phone.

 

Both her and Nadia’s mobiles were switched off. I texted them each a message instead.

 

When Anna surfaced at 10 a.m., she thankfully looked like she’d slept OK and hadn’t been bothered by ghosts of Katie and nightmares.

 

‘Why don’t we make something nice to drop off at Nadia’s for dinner?’ I suggested to her after she’d had her promised waffles.

 

I needed a distraction to keep me busy. Keep me from thinking.

 

Stop me falling apart.

 

‘Yeah, she’s always doing that for other people. That’s a great idea, Mum. We should make lasagne. It’s Charlotte’s favourite.’

 

‘Let’s run to the shops and get the ingredients.’

 

‘Can we make cupcakes, too? Emma’s mum made some with this wicked icing and decoration stuff we could get.’

 

‘Absolutely.’

 

And that was how I did it, putting one foot in front of the other like a robot, going through the motions, talking but not really Where the Memories Lie thinking, because if I had to think I’d have to admit to myself that my husband was a murderer. That he’d slept with my best friend, got her pregnant, killed her. And not only that, he’d buried her body with Tom’s help in this house. He’d walked over her grave all this time and hadn’t batted an eyelid.

 

He was a psychopath. Or a sociopath, even. Were Anna and I even safe from him once he knew we knew? I’d been too busy suspecting Chris to even contemplate that my own husband could be involved.

 

Hours later, there were perfect-looking cupcakes cooling on the worktop waiting to be decorated; Anna had made them all by herself. She was turning out to be a better cook than I was. Now she was on her laptop with Mr Google again, researching leukaemia.

 

I didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing for her to know everything involved, but I wanted her to be aware of what might happen. Forewarned is forearmed. Knowledge is power and all that.

 

Charlotte had a good chance of going into remission, but there was also a chance she wouldn’t survive this. There’s no easy way to prepare your kids for dealing with death. Hell knows, we’d just had the very worst of scenarios to deal with. But death was very real. It was a natural part of life. Hiding it from her didn’t make it go away. Plus, all the research was distracting Anna from her sadness and making her feel helpful and useful, and she desperately needed to cling on to that.

 

My phone rang and I dived for it. It was Nadia’s number that came up.

 

‘How did you get on?’ I blurted out straight away. No hello or anything.

 

‘The consultant was lovely. She did the bone marrow biopsy there and then, but we won’t get the results until tomorrow.

 

255

 

Sibel Hodge

 

But . . . um . . . yes, unfortunately, she’s pretty sure from looking at the blood test results and the other symptoms Charlotte’s had recently that we’re looking at acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.’

 

I exhaled a lungful of air. I’d been expecting it but it still didn’t make it any easier. ‘Oh, no. I’m so sorry, Nadia.’

 

She was silent for a moment and I thought she was going to burst into tears down the phone, but that wasn’t her usual style.

 

Instead, she acted true to form: calm, in control, dealing with what needed to be done.

 

‘Well, we’re just going to take this one day at a time. I’ve been reading up on it. So have Charlotte and Lucas. We’re going to beat this.

 

It’s as simple as that. Charlotte dying isn’t an option,’ she said briskly.

 

‘No, you’re absolutely right. Is she up to visitors?’