Where the Memories Lie

 

Had Ethan killed Katie? Was it his baby? He’d said she’d tried to sleep with him; what if he had? What if he hadn’t turned her down, after all? What if she’d threatened to tell me about it and he killed her? Was she trying to blackmail him? Had Tom covered it up?

 

How do you know it’s even the same necklace?

 

I didn’t know, of course, but I had to find out for sure.

 

Before I could think any more about it, I heard a creak at the top of the stairs. I brushed the necklace into my palm and put it in the kitchen drawer we used for takeaway menus and other crap that we didn’t know where to put.

 

When Ethan came into the kitchen I had my back to him, furi-ously poking the screwdriver into the fuse cover on the back of the plug to pop it open.

 

‘Morning,’ he said. ‘What are you doing?’

 

‘Fuse has gone.’ My hand shook and I tried to keep my voice light, but it came out sounding sing-songy, as if it was a line from a musical.

 

‘Want me to do that?’ He put a hand on mine and I dropped the fuse.

 

‘Sorry, that was my fault,’ he said.

 

We both bent down at the same time and our heads banged together.

 

‘Ouch!’ My vision wavered with black and white pinpricks and I rubbed my forehead.

 

247

 

Sibel Hodge

 

‘Sorry.’ He put a hand to his own forehead and attempted a smile.

 

I picked up the fuse, head throbbing.

 

He gripped my arm and I froze. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so distant and angry. I . . . this is all really hard. I just . . .’ He squeezed my arm hard as his gaze drifted out through the window towards the garage.

 

‘That hurts!’ I jerked my arm away.

 

‘Sorry.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Jesus, sorry. Look, I’m just trying to apologise for how I’ve been acting.’ He crushed me in an embrace, squeezing me to him as if I was his oxygen.

 

I fought the urge to recoil and confront him about the necklace, but I couldn’t say anything. Not yet. I needed to be sure it was definitely the same one before I did that. I didn’t think it would go down too well, accusing your husband of murder if he hadn’t even done anything. Would you ever get the trust back again? Things were dicey enough between us at the moment as it was.

 

I rested my clammy palms on his broad back, trying to keep my breathing steady. Is this what he’d done with Katie? Hugged her?

 

Kissed her? Fucked her? Killed her?

 

‘This has just knocked me for six,’ he said.

 

‘Well, you were very close to Tom; it’s understandable. It’s difficult for everyone.’

 

‘And now with Charlotte being ill. It’s like someone’s got it in for us.’

 

Or it’s reparation for everything this family’s done. Payback time.

 

‘Do you think she’s going to survive?’

 

I took a deep breath and pulled back. ‘We have to think positively. For Charlotte and Nadia and Lucas. It’s going to be a long, hard struggle for all of them.’

 

‘Yeah.’ He looked at me and blinked, his eyes shining. He sniffed and stood up straighter. ‘Look, I’m not going to be all distant anymore. I’m here for you, OK? And Anna. My girls are the 248

 

Where the Memories Lie most important thing in the world, and I’m sorry I’ve been acting so angry. I’m sorry I’ve been blaming you.’

 

‘You’re in mourning,’ I said, unable to look at him. ‘It’s natural to be all over the place.’

 

He took the fuse from my curled fist. ‘Here, I’ll do that.’ He kissed me on the cheek and I fought the urge to shudder. ‘I’ve got a planning meeting this morning and some other things to finalise but I’ll try and get home early tonight. Maybe we can all go out for dinner or something. Save you worrying about cooking.’

 

‘I don’t really feel like going out at the moment. I want to know what happens with Charlotte at the hospital.’ I watched him screw-ing the plug back together, wondering if those same hands had killed Katie.

 

‘OK. Whatever you want.’