Where the Memories Lie
By: Sibel Hodge
‘If she wants you to, darling, of course you can. I think that would be a very brave and loving thing for you to do. Concentrating on helping her get through this will give you strength to deal with it, too.’
She pulled at her lip with her thumb and forefinger, thinking about that for a few moments, and then nodded. ‘OK. I’m going to be the best cousin I can so I can help her, and I need to be grown up to do that, don’t I?’
‘You do indeed.’ I smiled with relief and looked up at the sky, blinking rapidly to clear my blurring vision. I hugged her towards me, feeling an overwhelming rush of pride. ‘You’re a good girl, darling. I’m very proud of you.’
‘But can I sleep with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone in my own bedroom. I might have a bad dream thinking about Katie and Charlotte and everything.’ She looked at me, lost and forlorn.
‘Of course you can.’ I gripped her hand as tight as I could without hurting her.
‘And can Poppy sleep with us, too? She’ll help chase the ghosts away.’
‘Yes.’
Poppy sat down and barked at us, knowing we were talking about her.
‘She wants her dinner,’ I said.
My stomach rumbled and I realised it was way past our dinner time, too. I thought about the meal Nadia would’ve been cook-ing when she got the call from Doctor Palmer, which would sit 240
Where the Memories Lie there untouched now. You always take life for granted, don’t you?
You think you’ve got years and years ahead of you so you plan all this stuff you’re going to do in the future. I wonder how much time we waste being unhappy, doing things we don’t want to, never fulfilling ourselves, because we think there’s all this time left when we’ll finally get round to doing what we want. Except there isn’t.
Life can change in a split second. It can all go wrong in one shattered moment. And then it’s too late to do the things we put off.
Too late to live the dreams we’ve been dreaming of all this time.
It was too late for Katie and it could be too late for Charlotte. We had to do everything in our power to make things as wonderful for Charlotte as possible while we still could. While she still could appreciate life.
‘I’m hungry, too,’ Anna said. ‘Nadia was making Thai green curry and apple sesame fritters for pudding.’
I squeezed her hand, wondering what the hell I still had left in the kitchen cupboards that I could feed her. ‘Well, I could probably rustle up a Chinese or something.’
‘You’re going to cook a Chinese? What, from scratch?’ she said disbelievingly.
‘No. But the Peking Kitchen will, and as a bonus they’ll even deliver it. Are you ready to go home?’
She looked at me. ‘Will you make me waffles for breakfast with ice cream and chocolate sauce?’
Oh, to be twelve again, where the lowest lows are followed by an overdose of ice cream and chocolate. Anything sugary, in fact.
Roll on a few years and the ice cream is replaced by wine. Which reminded me, did we have any in the house? It was going to take a hell of a lot to make me sleep tonight.
I forced a smile. ‘Absolutely.’
‘You promise?’
I held up my little finger. ‘I pinky swear my promise.’
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She entwined her little finger with mine and gave me a brave smile.
When we got home the sky was turning to dusk. Ethan’s car still wasn’t there. Anna stuck close by me, walking stiffly up the front steps, pointedly avoiding looking at the garage.
I took her hand and led her into the house, flipping on the lights as we went. She followed me into the kitchen and bumped into the back of me when I stopped walking. My Klingon had returned.
‘Do you want a drink?’ I asked her.
‘Yes, wine.’