“Allete, could you please look at me?”
It took her so long to respond that I didn’t think she’d heard me. But then her head turned slowly, and her eyes met mine.
I groaned. “Oh, precious one.” My heart crumbled in my chest as I looked into the eyes of my broken princess. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you.”
Silent tears slid down her face, and the fact that she still didn’t attempt to hide her nakedness told me she still wasn’t all there. Part of her was still lost.
“I can still feel him,” she whispered after several quiet minutes. “I can’t get the feel of him off me.” She scratched at her neck. With her head turned, I could see the damage she’d done to herself. Her soft skin was a bloody mess. She’d scratched until her beautiful flesh was raw and angry looking. Her arms too were covered with scrapes, as was the skin just above her breasts. She looked as though several angry cats had attacked her all at once. Her braided hair was coming loose, and her skin bore bruises in addition to the scratches. Those must have been the bruises left from Cathal’s rough treatment of her precious body. My blood boiled as I looked at her damaged flesh.
“Allete, will you let me help you? Do you want me to get your sisters?”
Her eyes widened at my question. “No,” she shook her head quickly. “Not my sisters. No. I don’t want them to see this.” She looked down at herself and covered her mouth to keep the sob inside. “Look what I’ve done,” she whispered. She was horrified and even disgusted with herself.
I wasn’t about to let that stand. “Princess, look at me.” She didn’t, so I used the voice I used when commanding my men. “Now.”
Her eyes snapped to mine, wide with fear and anguish.
“Let me help you.”
“But…” She started to argue, but I took one of her small hands in mine and shook my head at her.
“You will let me care for you. It is my honor, and you must let me do this. Understand?”
After several heartbeats, she finally shrugged. “It’s not like I could possibly humiliate myself any more. I’m sitting in the floor, naked, scratched all to hell.”
I stood up and snatched the sheet from her bed and draped it over her, covering her beautiful body. Then I helped her stand. Her legs were weak and shaky. I wasn’t about to let her fall, so I swept her easily up into my arms. She didn’t even make a sound. I carried her to the other side of the bed and set her down gently. “Will you be okay if I let you go?”
Her head shot up and the fear that gripped her was evident on her face. “Don’t leave. Please.”
I gently ran a finger across her jaw. “I wouldn’t dare. You’re stuck with me, Princess. I’m just going to start a fire,” I motioned to the fireplace on the far wall. “I need to heat up some water for you.” As if she was trying to convince herself that I was telling the truth, she simply stared into my eyes. Finally, she gave a single nod and released my arm.
I moved quickly and efficiently to get a fire started and then set a metal pitcher full of water down into the hot coals. I glanced at my charge and saw that she was playing with a piece of hair that had fallen forward. This gave me an idea, an appropriate action to kill the time while we waited for the water to heat. I walked over to her vanity and opened a drawer. A small hand mirror and brush sat neatly inside. I took the brush and walked over to her. I gently moved her forward and climbed into the bed behind her. She offered no resistance. I pulled Allete back toward me so she was sitting in between my legs. I pulled out the ties that held her hair in place and gently untwined the braid. The dark strands of hair ran through my fingers, feeling like a cascade of silk. For some reason, being allowed to touch her hair, to care for her in such a way, felt even more intimate to me than a kiss.
“Is this all right?” I asked her, not wanting to take liberties she wasn’t willing to give.
She sighed and let her head fall back. “It feels wonderful,” she answered a tad breathlessly. At least she wasn’t crying anymore. Her sobs had broken my heart.
“Your hair is beautiful. Just like the rest of you.”
She let out a un-lady like snort. “Yes, I’m sure I’m quite a sight to behold right now.”
“You are always a sight to behold, Allete. You light up a room when you walk into it. The fire in your eyes can dance with mirth, or cut down a person quicker than a sword. You hold yourself with confidence, yet there is no judgment in your eyes when you look at others. And you’re humble despite these things.” I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but after having been treated the way Cathal had treated her, I felt it was important for her to know she was a woman of worth.
“I’m not really sure what to say to that,” she admitted.
“You don’t have to say anything, Princess. Just accept it as truth.”
“We are born into this world to parents who are full of hope. They want to see us succeed at anything and everything. They want us safe, healthy, and happy. But no matter how strongly they may want a thing, desire is not enough to make it so. Each of us must decide for ourselves what we want in this life. We have to choose to pursue our happiness, not just hope that what our mothers and fathers want for us will suddenly happen.”
* * *
~Torben.
Torben—my personal guardsman—who I now knew was so much more than that, was brushing my hair while I wore nothing but a sheet. It sounded terrible when I thought about it. And it would certainly look terrible to an outsider. But the gesture was completely innocent on both of our parts. Regardless, I would never be able to admit that it had happened to anyone. I was sure my mother would faint where she stood if she happened upon us, and my sister Dayna would start singing a halleluiah chorus.
I myself was about to curl up in a ball and purr like a well-loved kitten. After having had Cathal’s repugnant hands and mouth on me, Torben’s hands were like a cleansing rain, washing away the filth of the memories that were attempting to overwhelm me. I had been sinking into the pit of my mind, sure that nothing would ever be the same again. Then he had come. Torben had come and rescued me, pulling me from the mire of my thoughts.
“What are you thinking about?” Torben asked as he stood and retrieved the pitcher he’d left heating in the fires’ embers. He poured the steaming water into a small wash basin and picked up a hand towel that was resting on the table beside my bed.
“I am thinking about how my mother would wilt like a dying flower, and my youngest sister would be planning the arrival of our first child if either were to walk into my chambers and see us in such a state,” I admitted.