Cathal sneered at the terrified woman and then spit at her feet. “Weak. Pathetic. I do not know why I ever wanted you.”
When she turned to face me, her eyes met mine. I tried so hard to convey that I did not blame her. I would not hold her silence against her. She wiped the tears away and then turned to face outward, obeying Cathal’s instructions. Not because she did not have a choice, but because the choices before her were both soul ripping ones to make. Beatrice did not make the choice she thought she could live with. She made the choice that would keep those she loved alive.
My attention was drawn away from Beatrice when I felt Cathal’s breath on my neck. I would rather a thousand ants crawl all over me than have him breathing on me. I shivered, and he chuckled.
“You aren’t as stoic as you pretend, are you, lover?” he whispered against my ear.
“This is completely inappropriate, my lord.” I knew it would not work. Cathal cared about the appropriateness of his actions about as much as he cared about women in general.
His hand wrapped around my throat, and he began backing me up until I was pressed against a tree. The bark bit in to my back painfully. He pushed harder when he noticed my slight flinch at the pain. Cathal pressed his body closer until he was touching me from thigh to chest. As he held my throat with one hand, he gripped my waist with the other, digging in with his fingers. I had yet to fight back at this point. I knew that it would only make things worse, and I decided that I could live with anything he did, unless he tried to take my innocence. But if he began attempting to remove clothing, the claws were coming out.
He began kissing my neck while he whispered to me. “You will not make a noise. You will not refuse me. You will give yourself to me freely, or I swear to you the things I will do to your sister will give you nightmares for the rest of your pathetic life. And if that is not enough to make you behave, then I will behead your guard, the one that cannot keep his eyes off you. But I would not kill him until he had watched me take your body over and over again.” The kissing continued long after the threats had ended. He never kissed me on the lips, only my neck, collar bone and across the tops of my breasts. His hands did not caress me, but he pushed his body against mine in a repulsive rhythm, which I imagined looked like an undulating snake climbing a tree.
I gasped when he bit into my flesh again, though not nearly as hard as he had the first time. This time he not only bit, but he also sucked on my skin until it felt as if he was going to rip it off. He was marking me. He was ensuring that when I looked in the mirror I would see the evidence of what he had done to me.
I do not know how long he stood there, molesting me with his mouth and body. But some time later, I saw them walk out from the shadows of the trees. Beatrice did not see them because they crept quietly up from behind her vantage point. I tried not to stiffen, to alert Cathal that there was something amiss. But the emotions I felt when I saw Torben made this almost impossible.
Torben was shaking. He was a volcano on the verge of erupting and destroying everything in his path. I shook my head slightly while mouthing, ‘no’ to them. I pleaded with my eyes for them to obey me. He was so headstrong that I feared he would ignore my desperate request.
Instead of leaving, like I had hoped he would do, Torben stood there with Brant’s hand on his shoulder holding him back. His eyes held mine, and I could not look away. I wanted so badly to close my eyes and pretend that none of it was happening. I knew it was not my fault, but it was still embarrassing to have Torben, whom I was coming to care so deeply for, watch as this monster defiled me. It was bad enough that I had to endure it. I did not want Torben having this memory of me.
His eyes took on a glassy sheen. After a moment, I realized that he had unshed tears in his beautiful silver eyes. Tears for me. My chest tightened as I forced myself not to react. I was on the verge of crying, but I did not want to give Cathal the satisfaction of seeing tears that he did not deserve. As I continued to stare back at Torben, I contemplated why he would cry for me. A guard who had only known me a couple of weeks was shaking with rage and holding back tears for me. He cared. Torben cared for me, and not just as a friend. My brow drew together, and my lips trembled as I absorbed this new knowledge, and he could see in my eyes that I knew. I did not know if the man loved me, but there was certainly something there—something that could, perhaps, grow into love one day.
As I stared back at him, unable to look away because of the tears he would dare shed for me, I realized that what I felt for him could easily turn into love as well. What had I done to earn such a cruel fate? To be given away like a prize horse and then to find an honorable man with whom I knew, given enough time, I could fall in love. How was I to endure such agony? How could I marry Cathal, go to his kingdom, and be touched by him against my will, knowing Torben was out there in the world? I would have rather had my life end than be tethered to a man such as Cathal. He was a vile, despicable man with a twisted soul and an evil heart. But how could I get out of marrying him, short of death?
I was pulled out of my own mind when Cathal finally stepped back. His mouth was curved into a perverse smile, and his eyes danced with madness. I fought the tremor that wanted to travel through my body. I didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of any response from me. I kept my face blank and emotionless as I stared back at him.
He released my throat and ran a finger down my neck. “You will do everything I ask from this point forward. If you do not, those you love will be the ones who bear my wrath.”
For a moment, I was worried he would turn and spot Torben and Brant. To my relief, however, he walked past me in the opposite direction of my guards.
“I will see you at dinner,” he called over his shoulder without looking back. Cathal snapped his fingers, and Beatrice jumped before scurrying after him.
Less than a minute later, Torben was standing in front of me. His eyes practically glowed with rage, and his hands trembled as he lifted them to my face. His touch was incredibly gentle, despite the size and roughness of his hands. He lifted my chin and ran a finger down my neck and across my collar bone. His mouth tightened into a straight line, and his breathing quickened the longer he stared at me. His anger was nearly palpable.