By the time they left me, I was completely relaxed. I wanted it to last. I wanted to be able to keep the memories of his touch at bay at least until morning. Unfortunately, my mind had other plans. Gradually, his words refilled my mind, and his face sneered at me again as he held me captive against the rough bark of the tree. I should have fought. I should have screamed, or done something to gain the attention of anyone who might have been close by. But I hadn’t. I had stood there like a whipped dog and let that man violate me. Where the hell had my courage gone? When had I become a doormat for him to walk on?
My spirit felt crushed as I considered all the things I should have done rather than enduring his vile behavior. The tears pooled in my eyes, and my gut clenched violently under the pain that was threatening to crush me. He’d threatened my sisters, my family, those I loved. I hadn’t wanted to take a chance that he was bluffing. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to any of them, especially if it was because of something I’d done or refused to do. I shook my head. I was given no choice, I told myself. I’d had to do what he told me to in order to protect those who were precious to me. No matter how disgusted I was, I wouldn’t have changed what I’d done. I wouldn’t take a risk with the lives of my friends and family.
Regardless, it still hurt, dammit. I felt completely filthy. I felt that, even if by some miracle I could escape my pending marriage with Cathal, I would probably never be able to let another man touch me. Would I ever feel worthy of a man’s touch or would I always feel unclean? I wasn’t sure.
“Why?” I groaned into the pillow as I tucked my knees close to my chest. “Why, why, why!” The tears fell fast with every word, and my breathing became ragged as my lungs tightened, refusing any intake of air. My body shook relentlessly as my emotions lashed out. I couldn’t control them. My mind was incapable of forming rational thoughts. I sat up quickly, consciously forcing large gulps of air into my lungs. I felt as though I was I was suffocating. I felt anew his hand around my throat, the tightening of his fingers threatening to crush my windpipe. His body pressed up against mine, keeping me from being able to move even an inch. And then I felt his mouth. His slithering tongue running along my throat, his lips latching onto my skin, and sucking painfully. I gagged as bile rose from my stomach threatening to project from my mouth. Even as I attempted to hold in the vomit, I tore at my nightgown. The fabric felt as if it was full of nettles, scratching my skin.
I wondered dimly if the pain and fear would fade, or would I always feel as I did in that moment? The tears continued to flow as huge sobs broke through my chest and the sorrow I felt from the things Cathal had taken from me overwhelmed me.
I stood outside of Allete’s door, my jaw clenched as I attempted to maintain control of my temper. I wanted nothing more than to go to Cathal’s room and slit his throat, but only after I had tortured him slowly. How could a man be so dishonorable? How wicked did his heart have to be to treat a woman in such a vile manner?
There was no doubt in my mind now, Allete could not be allowed to marry that monster. She would never be alone with him again. I didn’t know how I could accomplish such a feat without getting arrested, but I knew that Allete must be protected. If I wasn’t already aware of the prophesy—if I didn’t know how important our union would be—I would gladly kill Cathal now and accept my fate with my head held high. Who knows how many women I would save from his evil if his life was snuffed from the earth? Would anyone really miss him? I had a feeling the people of his country would rejoice, rather than mourn. He was not the type of leader that inspired any form of loyalty. His people only followed him out of fear. They didn’t respect him or trust him.
“Are you trying to figure out a way to kill him without getting caught?” Brant asked quietly from beside him.
“How’d you know?”
“Because I’m trying to figure out the same thing. That man cannot live, Torben.”
I let out a resigned sigh. Brant was right. Even if we stopped Allete from marrying him, someone else would bear his wrath. Another innocent soul would suffer as a prisoner to his sick mind. Could we really leave him alive to torture someone else?
“No, he cannot,” I agreed.
“We agree the king of Tara will die.”
I nodded. “We are of one accord,” I answered formally.
Our words were not empty. Though our declaration, Brant and I had bound ourselves and our fate to one another in the accomplishment of a shared purpose. By our agreement, we had pledged together to kill Cathal, creating a binding oath that neither of us would abandon until our purpose was fulfilled.
We were silent after our declaration. With the decision made, all I could think about was the woman in the room behind me. Her sisters had left an hour ago. It worried me that being alone was not the best thing for Allete, but Dayna had assured me that Allete was going to be okay—she just needed time to process things. They knew their sister better than I did, though I hoped one day that would no longer be true. Regardless, I felt leaving anyone alone after such an assault could be dangerous.
As if my very thoughts had called out to her, I heard a desperate cry and the sound of something hitting the floor, hard. I turned to the door and grabbed the handle. “Do not let anyone come in this room for any reason,” I said to Brant, knowing my comrade would die to keep my orders from being disobeyed.
I pushed the door closed behind me and stood still for a moment, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. The only light in the room was a weak flickering flame from a small lamp resting on a table near Allete’s bed. My eyes roamed over the bed, looking for the lump that would indicate Allete’s body was safely tucked in. The bed was empty. I felt my heart begin to race as my eyes jumped to every corner of the room. I’d just started in the direction of the bathing room when I heard her desperate pleas.
“Please make it stop,” her small voice sobbed.
Her voice came from the other side of the bed and I hurried over, only to freeze as I stared down at the beautiful princess who’d stolen my heart. I dropped to my knees and inched closer to her, my hands out in a placating gesture. My beautiful Allete was completely naked, the night gown she’d worn was ripped into shreds, and she was clawing at her neck, rubbing it raw.
“Princess,” I said softly, hoping I didn’t startle her. It appeared she didn’t recognize her surroundings. Her mind was not here with me, that was clear. She was back against that tree with Cathal’s hand around her throat, experiencing again his desecration of her body. She was in shock. I knew something like this might happen, but I didn’t realize it would be so bad.
“Princess,” I said again, slightly louder, as I moved closer. I gently placed my hand on her head and patted down her hair, attempting to soothe her. “Allete, love, please look at me.”
She froze, the only sound was the ragged breathing that was coming from her chest. I didn’t want to move. I felt like the slightest motion might cause her to lose all control. But I couldn’t just leave her sitting on the cold floor. Though I would willingly wait there with her for an eternity, I knew that she needed to be cleaned up, dressed, and put safely back into her bed. Mentally kicking myself, I finally spoke again.