No.
Not really.
But it would make things easier.
Ohmygod. No, it wouldn’t. Wasn’t that what she’d been trying to do for years?
He kissed her again. “I love that you came over. Do you want to go back to my place?”
“No.” She said it so quickly his brow furrowed. If she went back to his place, she’d want to cuddle up with him, which would lead to kissing him, and kissing Blue was never enough.
“I mean, let’s take a walk.”
“Sure.” He grabbed a blanket, and they walked down to the beach. “Are you okay, sweetheart? You seem a little jumpy.”
No. Not even close to okay. “Uh-huh.”
He spread out the blanket and held Lizzie’s hand as they walked along the water’s edge. Everything felt so natural with Blue, so easy. Just thinking about telling him her embarrassing secret made her feel queasy.
“I was thinking.” He played with the ends of her hair. “I was actually hoping you’d reconsider going to Cash’s wedding with me. I hate the thought of being apart for the weekend.”
She wanted to say yes so badly she ached, but she knew that once she told him about the webcast, he might not want to see her at all.
“I want to go, but there’s a lot on my plate right now.”
Walking along the shore, the scents of the sea surrounding them, the comfort of their relationship warmed her despite the evening breeze. She wasn’t ready to let this go—to let him go. Would she ever be?
A sense of relief washed over her, and she clung to it like a lifeline, pushing away the gloom of her reason for being there. She would tell him, but not on such a perfect night. Not when he was so happy to see her, or when even just holding his hand made her this happy. She did so much for others. Was it really too much for her to want to take a little more for herself?
***
BLUE’S MIND WAS running all over the place. He’d been thinking of Lizzie the whole time he was working, and as if she’d read his mind, here she was, making his evening a million times better. He’d felt tension all around her when she’d arrived, but it seemed to fade quickly, and now she was smiling and as relaxed as she usually was. He worried about her. She did so much every day, between the flower shop and making special efforts to drop off the flowers after work so someone, somewhere could enjoy them, or so people wouldn’t be forgotten. Her generosity was just one of the things he adored about her. And adore he did. He wanted to make her life wonderful.
“Thanks for letting me drag you away from work,” she said.
“Sweetheart, you can drag me away from anything, anytime.” He stopped to pick up a conch shell, brushed the sand from it, and held it up to her ear. “What do you hear?”
“You, whispering how much you want to kiss me.”
They both smiled as he sealed his lips over hers, and she melted against him. That was what he’d craved all day, the feel of her giving herself over to him, the way he instantly gave himself over to her. The press of her body, the sweet sigh of surrender, and the way she looked at him like she’d been waiting for him her whole life, made his head spin.
“Mm. This is just what I needed tonight. To be with you.” She pressed a kiss to the center of his chest.
“It’s such a beautiful night, isn’t it? Soon it’ll be too cold not to be by a fire.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked hand in hand. “Then we should enjoy this while we can.”
Blue imagined taking walks with Lizzie years from now, maybe with a child or two in tow. His chest tightened, as if his heart had actually swelled with the thought.
Lizzie sank down to the sand, pulling him down beside her. It didn’t matter that the sand was cold and damp or the breeze off the water was chilly. Being with Lizzie made everything seem new and somehow better.
She began piling sand up in a mound. “I love the beach so much. When I was little I spent most of my free time at the beach, but I never did much else.” Her eyes turned thoughtful. “I wasn’t very rebellious.”
“Well, as a guy, rebellion sort of came with being a teenager. Was there something you never did but you wish you had?” Blue asked.
“Do you want the truth or a safe answer?” She piled more sand on top of a mound.
“With a question like that, I can only imagine what I’m in for. Truth.” He leaned over and kissed her.
“I just wish my parents would have caught me doing bad things so when I did things after I left home, I didn’t feel so guilty or like I had to hide it from them.”
“That’s a pretty big regret. Should I expect you to hit a midlife crisis a little early, like when you turn thirty?”