She drove up the highway toward Provincetown. She’d always loved the stretch of land where Truro ended and Provincetown began, where the residential area gave way to a shoreline dotted with summer cottages. Once again her mind traveled back to Blue. It had taken all of her willpower not to wait for him to arrive before leaving for work, but the battle going on between her head and heart was too difficult to manage in his presence. She knew that if she was in his arms again, feeling him holding her like he never wanted to let her go, she’d fall right back into the luxury of them. She needed a clear head to figure out how to tell him about the webcast, and when she was around him, a clear head was not possible—not when he made her feel so good, made her hope for more, for a future without the webcast in it.
And Maddy couldn’t afford for her to make that choice.
As she drove toward her shop she marveled at the artsy little town coming to life. The people strolling with a pet’s leash in one hand and coffee in the other, early-morning joggers, and shop owners opening their businesses.
She couldn’t imagine running her flower shop anywhere else. Even when she was growing up in Brewster, she’d always known she’d end up here. Provincetown was full of life, and she thrived on the energy that buzzed through the town. Thinking about how she’d ended up in the place she had always wanted to be made her wonder about destiny and fate. She didn’t put much stock in those things, because she’d had to fight her way through everything in life to get where she was. When she was taking on student loans, every thousand dollars she borrowed felt like another shovel of dirt burying her deeper in debt. Deeper into the reality of working for minimum wage and never seeing the light of day.
No, fate and destiny were not her friends. They were notions that people who had it all believed in. She believed in creating her own life. Making life happen the way she wanted, with her own determination and sheer will. It wasn’t fate that brought her Cooking with Coeds or destiny that kept her locked in her basement making the slightly naughty videos. It was the need for a better life and the drive to get it, no matter what the stakes.
Her life path had seemed pretty clear to her until Blue appeared dead center, blocking out the feigned simplicity of it—and showing her just how complicated her life really was. Blue was like an unexpected tollbooth in the center of the road. Time to pay the piper, confess my sins if I want to get through. The problem was, she didn’t know how to get around it, and going through it was risky at best.
She parked behind the shop and walked over to the Portuguese bakery, thinking of the text she’d received from Blue. Would he still want to combine her precious lists after he found out that she was the Naked Baker? Would he still want to be with her?
Maybe she was overthinking the whole thing. Maybe the webcast wasn’t that big of a deal, and he’d laugh and think it was sexy or fun.
Or totally slutty.
Pushing the awful thought away, she bought two coffees, then headed over to Inky Skies, to apologize again for not telling Sky about Blue asking her out so many times. Sky was an early bird just like Lizzie—up at the crack of dawn and ready to take on the day. Lizzie heard Sawyer’s guitar before shading her eyes to see him sitting on their apartment balcony above the tattoo shop, basking in the morning sunlight.
“Hey, Sawyer,” she called up. From the moment Sky had met Sawyer, the two of them had been inseparable.
“Hi, Lizzie. Sky’s already in the shop.”
“Thanks.” She eyed the coffee cups in her hand. “Want one?”
“No, thanks. I have to run down to the fight club for a training session in a few minutes.” Ever since retiring from boxing, Sawyer had worked as a professional trainer at the fight club in Eastham.
Lizzie was thinking of Blue again as she walked into Sky’s shop. Sky had fallen just as hard for Sawyer as she was falling for Blue. If only the timing were as right for Lizzie and Blue as it had been for Sky and Sawyer. Then again, Sky and Sawyer had had their own hitches. With the threat of brain damage following a concussion, they’d had to make life-and career-changing decisions. Maybe there simply was no right time for love.
Sky walked through the hanging beads in the back of the store and smiled as she reached for a cup of coffee. “You are a savior. I was just thinking about how I needed something hot and wet.” She laughed and lowered her voice. “That’s what Sawyer says every morning when I come out of the shower.”
“TMI.” Lizzie laughed. “I love that he sits up there and plays his guitar in the mornings.” She sat on the couch in the reception area, and Sky plopped down beside her.
“Yeah, me too.”
“Now that he got his advance for the poetry book he and his father published, do you think you’ll move out of your apartment?” She knew Sky loved her little apartment above the shop.
“No, not yet. But after we’re married, probably. I want to have a family, and we can’t really do that upstairs with Merlin’s beds in every corner and barely enough room for our own bed.” Merlin was Sky’s very spoiled Persian cat.
A stroke of jealousy skittered through Lizzie. She hadn’t allowed herself to contemplate her own future beyond making it through the next two years with enough money to help Maddy. Once Maddy was out of college, then she could put serious thought into what else she wanted in life, but now, hearing Sky talk about having a family tugged at something inside of her. And if she were honest with herself, being with Blue had also nudged open that door.