She changed the subject to distract herself from the unfamiliar longing.
“Did you guys set a date for the wedding?” Lizzie asked.
“We’re thinking about the spring, when Matt can come up over his break.” Sky’s brother Matt was a professor at Princeton and rarely took time off. “Can you do a spring wedding, or is that too busy of a time to fit us in?”
“I can do whatever you need me to do. Have you decided where you’re getting married?” She smiled at her friend, wondering for the millionth time what it would be like to only have the flower shop and her relationship with Blue to worry about, and not Maddy’s tuition or the webcast.
“Not yet. Maybe at Sawyer’s parents’ house, so it’s easier for his father.” Sawyer’s father had Parkinson’s disease, and it was becoming more and more difficult for him to get around. Sky sipped her coffee. “When do you need specifics?”
“Whenever you’re ready. Normally I like as much lead time as possible to prepare and to make sure I can get in the flowers you want, but I know you’re not really a prepare type of girl, so give me three weeks and I’ll make your wedding beautiful.”
“I know you will. How’s your man?” Sky asked with a cocked brow.
“My man.” She loved saying that. Thoughts of last night came rushing back, chased by the reality of her needing to tell him about the webcast. Being with Blue was not only bringing Lizzie’s future into focus, but also clarifying her present. Faults and all. “Speaking of Blue, I’m really sorry for not telling you sooner about him asking me out. I feel bad about keeping it from you.”
Sky waved a dismissive hand. “Pfft. I’m over it. We all do stupid things.”
“I think I’m falling for him, Sky.” Her heart squeezed with the admission, knowing it was far more real than just a thought. “I actually think I’ve been falling for him all year. He’s such an amazing person. I knew that if I went out with him I wouldn’t be able to keep from falling for him. That’s why I didn’t go out with him when he asked all those times.”
“How could you not fall for him?” Sky smiled and hugged Lizzie. “Seriously, you two were meant for each other.”
Lizzie’s pulse quickened with hope. She felt that way, too, but how could it be? What a cruel joke, giving Blue a woman who had a secret like hers and giving her a man like Blue, who was making her reevaluate her two-year plan at every turn.
“Sky, can I ask you something?”
“Sawyer’s hung like a horse and really talented in bed.” She flashed a cheesy grin. “What else?”
“Again, TMI,” Lizzie teased, but she wasn’t in a teasing mood. She rested her head back and looked up at the clouds and stars Sky had painted on the ceiling. Do you think you always have to be one hundred percent honest with the person you love? Even if it might hurt him and someone else in the long run? She held back those questions and instead asked, “Do you tell Sawyer everything?”
“Always.”
They watched a group of people walking past the shop laughing. Lizzie wondered how many lies they were carrying around. Funny, the Naked Baker never used to feel like a lie. It had only felt like a secret of the most embarrassing kind.
But now that she was with Blue, it had somehow morphed into a lie that felt wrong to hide from him.
And too risky to reveal.
Chapter Thirteen
THAT EVENING LIZZIE worked as fast as she could to edit the webcast, but as she watched herself prance around the computer screen, sucking her finger seductively and bending over at just the right angle so viewers would see the curve where her ass met the back of her thighs, she felt even more ashamed. How could she tell Blue that she did this? She’d been fooling herself earlier, thinking that he might find it sexy or fun. She didn’t find it either of those things—and at the same time, she couldn’t be upset with herself for doing it, because it was what made it possible for her to live her life, and Maddy would soon have a college degree without being strapped with school loans.
It was worth the internal struggle and embarrassment.
If only she’d met Blue two years from now, when she could close the doors on this endeavor of hers forever.