“Then come after.” I wiggle her hips. “Come to the party. Please.”
Setting the rag down and taking the towel, she pats my face. I open my eyes to find her searching my expression. “I’ll consider it.”
“That’s the second thing you’re having to consider. Any thoughts on the previous?”
She smiles, and I smile in response. “It’s only been a few hours.”
“And?”
“I need more time.”
“I want you with me. Every night. Every morning.”
“I practically am now.”
“Practically isn’t all the time.”
Her smile grows. “You make it hard to say no. You know that?”
“Actually, you’re the one who makes it hard.” I take her hand from my face and move it lower until she finds something harder to hold on to.
“How are you always ready for sex?”
“I was born for action.”
“I’m starting to believe you.” She stands with her nurse supplies in hand. “I think you’ll live. I hope the other guy got worse.”
“It was three of them.”
She scoffs. “Good God, Alexander. You’re lucky this was the only damage they did.”
“My bike got worse.” She rolls her eyes at that one, as I knew she would.
“Your bike can be replaced.” She walks to the bathroom. My pretty firefly floats like an angel back to me. The light is turned out, and she slips under the covers, careful when she slides against me. She whispers, “You can’t. Take care of yourself, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
That earns me a poke to my ribs. “Ouch.”
“Oh damn, I forgot. I’m so sorry.”
As panic takes over, the apologies roll off her tongue, so I grab hold of her, welcoming the touch of her warm and soft skin. “I’m fine. Really. It’s okay.”
Laying her head on the pillow next to mine, she says, “I’m sorry.”
“You said it yourself. I’ll live.” Her lips warm my chest. My arm tightens around her. “Be with me, baby. Be with me always.”
She rolls to the side and looks at me. “I’m with you, Alexander. We’re one. Always one.” Rolling onto her back, her shoulder pressed to mine. Her hands are like a prayer as she rests her cheek on them. “I want to live with you.”
I’m tired. I’m delirious. I must have misheard, my ear still slightly ringing. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. “Really?”
“Really,” she replies with a solid smile, one stuck on love. I suspect mine’s similar.
“Best news I could get.” Looking at her, I lean over and kiss the tip of her nose. “What changed your mind?”
“You came over tonight.”
“That’s all it took?”
“Why did you come over?”
“Because you were here.”
“That’s all it took.” She kisses me gently and leans back again. The tips of her fingers run along my neck and over my shoulder before she rests her palm on my arm. “I shouldn’t say this because Lord knows you don’t need your ego inflated, but I’m going to anyway.”
“Hit me with the compliments, woman. My ego is the only thing not bruised tonight.”
“You’re more thoughtful than you let on. You’re gentler than you like to show the world. You’re not as tough as you want people to believe. It’s for all those reasons and a million more that I love being with you. So remember, you don’t have to wear your armor to bed. I love you, the man before me now.”
Her leg swings over mine, and she pulls herself closer.
“Ouch,” I mumble, wishing I could hide the pain better.
She lifts up, and strokes my hair from my forehead. “Aww, poor baby. I’ll take extra special care of you and help heal my wounded knight in shining armor.” Kissing my chest, she rests over my heart, her hand tapping to the beat. “So it’s us. Officially now.”
I cover her body by wrapping my arms around her. “There was never any other way. It was always together or nothing.”
“Seems that way.” The tips of her lashes brush against my chest when she closes her eyes. “Thank you for coming over tonight.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be.”
18
Alexander
Sara Jane is so fucking sweet to people who don’t give a shit about her. It’s me they care about. I’m the one they are more than willing to use. I call them friends, but they’re enemies disguised as friends. Cruise is the only one I trust.
I nod when I see him, but I’m not here to socialize. I’m here to make a point. She turns, a mix of worry crossing her face. “There are a lot of drugs.”
“You wanted to see how my friends party. This is how they party.”
“Some of the kids at school smoke weed.”
“Have you ever smoked?”
“You know I haven’t.” She playfully jabs me with her elbow.
“Let’s keep it that way.” I guide her through the living room, and into the kitchen where the large island is covered with bottles. “What do want to drink?” Grabbing a bottle of whiskey, I start pouring it into a crystal glass.
“I’ll have what you’re having.”
“Really?” I ask, surprised.
“When in Rome.” Looking around nervously, she adds, “C’est la vie.”
“That’s a lot of clichés you’ve got going there. You okay?”
“Fine.” Her voice pitches, and then frustration sets in, and she clears her throat. “I’m fine. Just give me the damn whiskey.”
“Damn whiskey,” I repeat, teasing her. “Probably wise. It’s the only way to survive these parties.” I grab another glass and pour the liquid in before adding a dash of Coke to each glass.
Another drink later, I do what I hoped I wouldn’t, but knew I would. Sara Jane is too pure, too good. She’s lethal in ways that weaken me. I have to be strong. I can’t be with her, and yet my fucking emotions are messing with me. This girl. She fucking owns me—heart and soul, but I still go, leading her reluctantly up the stairs. The alcohol has made her tipsy and her body’s relaxed, trusting me . . . so fucking foolish.
Don’t do this. Don’t do this.
Not to her. She’s good and I’m going to ruin her.
I’ll ruin her worse if she stays with me. I’m going to use immature fucking psychology tricks on her. Make her leave me because I’m too weak to leave her.
I turn against any good that might be left in me and look into her entrusting doe eyes. She asks, “Where are we going?”
“I’ve wanted you since I saw you.”
A sweet smile appears. “Aw.”
“Not aw. I wanted to do things to you, to take things from you.”
Her smile fades. “Like what, Alexander?”
“You keep asking if I want you and why we haven’t made love.”
“Well, yeah. We’ve dated for months, and we’ve not gotten past first base. The rejection hurts.”
“I want you, Firefly. I do, so much. But if we do . . .” That’s it for me. Am I ready to be everything she needs in life? I can’t even fucking take care of myself, and she’ll need me. She’ll need me to protect her because she only sees the good in the world. She only sees the good in me. I’m about to prove her wrong. “Please tell me to take you home. Tell me you want to leave or you have a headache. Tell me anything that will keep me from taking you up these stairs.”
Glancing up the staircase, she asks, “What’s up there that you don’t want me to see?”