My fear swells inside. With my hand shaking, I grip the doorknob tightly to hide the emotions Alexander told me to bury for protection. “You raped her?”
“I think you’ve missed the point of our meeting, Ms. Grayson. Carinna Halifax wanted something. She used her assets to obtain it. I benefitted from both—the deal and the assets. To be blunt, no, I did not rape her. She’d be in my bed now if I allowed it, but I have other ideas for my bed.” He moves behind me. His breath creeps along the back of my neck, making the hair stand on end. “I wasn’t hitting on you earlier, but that was before I saw the dampness on your skin and wondered how wet you were between your legs.”
Spinning around, I put my hands up as a barrier. “You need to back up, or I will scream at the top of my lungs.” He chuckles, his amusement angering me. “Leave.”
Reaching forward, I flinch, my eyes squeezing closed. “Now, now, Sara Jane. I can call you Sara Jane, right?” His knuckles brush against one of my breasts. My hand goes flying, knocking it away as I stare into his sinister eyes. “Don’t you ever touch me again.”
He licks his lips. “I see the way your nipples respond to me, so sharp against the fabric. Your breath is deepening. Your eyes are dilated. You’re wild and yet can be tamed. Alexander has done well with you. Your compliance is necessary, Sara Jane, but your beauty is a bonus.” He takes a few steps back and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You fair very well under critical tests. I wonder if Alex will.”
Carinna. She is Alex’s setup. How dare he. My heart still races, but my head is in the game. “Before testing people, you should study your opponent’s strengths and weaknesses. I’m no damsel in distress, and I refuse to believe the lies you’ve concocted about Alexander.”
“I’m well aware of your strengths and weakness. What I’m surprised to learn is that you’re my opponent. I mistakenly thought with Alex as a common denominator, we could be allies.”
I open the door wide and move to the side. “I won’t sell my soul for a paycheck,” I say adamantly, but I’d sell it to protect Alexander.
Stopping next to me, he eyes me from the side. “My apologies for making assumptions.” He walks into the hall. “Good day, Ms. Grayson.”
I shut the door and lean against the thick wood, locking it under my arm. My breath is shaking like my hands. If there’s anything I must do, it’s to make sure Alexander doesn’t become his father. Yet, I can see him slipping into the role so easily.
Pushing off the door, I go to the closet once my breath is calmer, more even. I have no idea how I went from a school girl to the woman I am now—determined to do anything to save the one I love—but I know I’m ready to take on the role.
I can’t tell Alexander about his father. He’s too volatile to handle it rationally. No, I must keep this under lock and key, safely inside of me. He must never know. The situation has been handled. It’s over. I’m good. Stronger for it.
While I get dressed, I realize the answer is right in front of me. Staring at a photo of Alexander and me, a simple black frame wrapped around the innocence of a black and white photo, it’s easy to see how we were once such different people. He looks youthful, something I never noticed when we were teenagers. Carrying both his mother’s death and his father’s spurning, he was already older than his years when we met. What I thought was a carefree smile still lights up my world, but it’s something I haven’t seen in too long.
Walking out, I finish getting dressed and ready for school. How can I bring that smile back?
*
I’m tapped on the shoulder. “Are you okay?”
My daydreams were getting the better of me. I turn around to Cal, who’s sitting behind me in the auditorium, and ask, “What?”
He leans down and whispers, “Are you okay after the other day?”
“I’m fine.” There’s no conviction to my answer. Even I don’t believe me. I turn back to face the Smartboards up front, hoping it’s enough to end the questioning.
“Was that your boyfriend?”
I nod slowly. “Yes.”
“Look, I’m not trying to pry or anything, but you should be careful. I’ve seen guys like him before. It never gets better.”
Turning around again, my eyes narrow, and his goes wide. Whispering, this time with conviction, I set him straight, “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve known him since I was seventeen. I don’t have to be careful around him.”
“That’s a long time.”
“Yes, it is. Why are we still talking about this? I’m fine. Really.”
“It was just something in the way he looked at you—”
Losing patience, I struggle to keep my voice low. “How did he look at me, Cal?”
“Like he’d rather kill you than let anyone else have you.”
My lips part in shock from his answer. “You think he’d kill me?”
“I didn’t say that. I said he looked at you in a way that said you were unmistakably and solely his.”
“You could tell that by the way he looked at me?”
“Everyone on campus could tell that.”
Oh, Alexander. My sweet, determined man. “Our relationship is complicated—”
“Clearly.”
Now annoyed, I’m quick to add, “I was going to also say, but there’s no one I trust more with my life.”
He glances to the front of the room and back to me. “I’m not judging. My sister was in a complicated relationship, so I understand more than you think. If you ever need to talk to someone, you can talk to me, Sara Jane.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m fine. We’re fine.” When I turn around, I vow to ignore him the rest of the semester. I don’t need outside observers causing me trouble or putting strange, misconstrued thoughts in my head. Anyway, I’m not so sure that I don’t look at Alexander that same way.
*
“Hello, I’m here to see Alexander Kingwood.” I need to see him. I need to talk to him, to touch him, to hold him. To cement myself to him in ways that I never felt I had to before today. Others have done this to me. Alexander and I are just fine.
“You’re Sara Jane. Hi, I’m Kimberly. We met very briefly at a holiday office party two years ago.”
Her welcoming smile and warm greeting elicits mine. “Yes, I remember now. How are you?”
“Very well. Thank you. How have you been?”
“Busy with school, but good.”
“Alexander talks about you all the time.” Her smile softens. “You’ve got him wrapped around your little finger.”
My cheeks feel hot from hearing he speaks to others about me. “I don’t know about that, but things are good.”
She stands and looks through the glass door toward the cubicles that fill the next room. “That’s great to hear.” When she sits back down, she says, “He was in a meeting, but I think he’s out now. You can go back.”
“Thank you; good to see you again.”
“Yes, you too.” I open the door and enter the large space. I’ve been here several times, but it’s been a while. Weaving my way toward the back, I see Alexander.
He’s on the phone with his back to me. I overhear him say, “I’ll be there. Nine sharp.”