It doesn’t take long to get to campus. I wish it were longer as I’m not ready for this ease to stop. On the drive over, she says, “If you’re going out tonight, I’m going to stay at my place. I pay for it, and I’m never there.”
“Because I’m not there.”
“You’re not at the manor much either, so this should make no difference.”
My eyes flicker to her. “We just had a good time. Are you starting a fight?”
“No fight.”
“I would like to come home to you.”
“I’d like that too.” Her hands tighten around her seatbelt and I turn back, gripping the steering wheel when she adds, “You know where I live.”
“This isn’t going to become a habit, is it?”
“It might. Sometimes I don’t feel safe at your place.”
“It’s a fortress. Way safer than your apartment, and it comes with cleaning and room service.” When she stares out her window in silence, I say, “That was supposed to be funny. Although it’s true.”
“I’m sorry.” She puts on a smile that feels put on for me, and shrugs. “The perks are nice, but . . . I don’t know.”
Pulling to the curb in front of the library and putting the car into park, I ask, “Why do I feel like you’re keeping something from me?”
“I don’t have anything clean over there anyway.”
The distance seen in her eyes spreads between our bodies. I hate it. “I’ll return to your place tonight.”
Her hand moves to my thigh, her whole demeanor lightening. “You will?”
This time the smile I wear is put on just for her. I need to give her this comfort. “I will.”
Leaning over, she kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
The passenger door is opened and she steps out. Before it closes, she leans back in and says, “I’ve been thinking about why you think I like The Notebook. You’re right that it’s my favorite movie, but you’ve got the reasoning all wrong. It’s not about being sappy or the protagonist dying. I love it because they fought to be together. Against all odds, they made their way back to each other and loved with every fiber of their being.” Her gaze falls as her chest rises quickly. When she looks back at me, she adds, “I didn’t love it because of the ending. I loved it because of the journey. Every love story has its burdens to bear. It’s how they survive it that makes it great.”
The meaning in her words isn’t hidden, but I don’t want to leave on a heavy note. “Maybe we can watch it this weekend.”
A soft smile appears on her gorgeous face. “I’d like that.”
“I’ll bring popcorn.”
Her smile grows. It’s a smile I’ve missed. “Don’t forget the chocolate-covered raisins.”
“Never.”
When she exhales, a few of the demons holding her happiness hostage escape, and her eyes catch the setting sun. “I’ll catch a ride from Shelly since you’re borrowing my car.”
“Thanks for loaning her to me.”
“Take care of her, and I’ll see you tonight.”
“Tonight.” I nod and she steps back. I watch her as she walks away, my hands gripping the wheel tightly. I want to keep that promise of the movie this weekend. I love her so fucking much and want to give her that true love ending she wants so badly. The alternative would only cause her more pain.
“Every love story has its burdens to bear. It’s how they survive it that makes it great.”
I desperately want ours to survive.
17
Alexander
Kingwood Manor is portentous with its ivy-covered walls and black spires reaching for the dark skies. The red brick masonry was laid years before we took up residence, but remains pristine. I skid to a stop, trying to leave a mark before I park next to a familiar beat-up, forest green Maxima. The car is parked, but idling.
When I get out, I tap on the waiting car, and tilt to look inside. The window is rolled down and Chad looks over. I say, “I’m going to change clothes. I’ll be right out.”
When I get back in, I tease, “Your car is a piece of shit. You know that, right?” Reaching over, I lock it just in case it decides to fly open while we’re driving.
“Not all of us can live in the splendors and spoils of wealth.”
“They call me King for a reason.”
He backs the car up, and we head into the world where it’s always felt easier than living behind these brick walls. “And here I always thought it was just a coincidence with your last name.”
“Ha.” I click my seat belt into place because Sara Jane would kick my ass if she found out I wasn’t buckled in properly. She’s cute like that.
Reading my mind, he asks, “How is Sara Jane after last night?”
“She’s fine,” I reply. “She adapts well to change. Anyway, I don’t think anything I do anymore surprises her.” I laugh.
“She made valid points.”
Looking at him, my brow furrows. “Not you too, Chad. I need your help. No one’s better than you.”
“Sometimes I wonder if what we’re doing is right.”
“It’s not legal.”
“I didn’t say legal. I said right. There’s a difference. I’m not hurting anyone by digging up information. It’s what is done with that information that keeps me up at night.”
“Don’t worry.”
He looks over at me. His hair shaggier than usual, the wire arm of his glasses slightly bent. Shifting eyes between the road and me. “I’m worried. Shelly’s involved—”
“I won’t keep you if you don’t want to be a part of this anymore.”
“I need the money.”
“Shit, Chad. I get it.” My temper flairs, but it’s hard to be mad at one of the nicest people I know. He never argues, so this conversation surprises me, but I get it. “This is not your battle.”
“You’re my friend. I want to help you.”
The high-rise looms ahead. “I’ll give you the money you need for school whether you stay or not.”
“I can’t do that.”
Staring out the window, the misery I’ve dragged my friends into envelops me. “You can.” Taking a deep breath, I calm the anger that could be unleashed too easily these days. He doesn’t deserve to bear the brunt of it. “We’re friends, Chad. You’re one of my best friends. If I can help, I will.”
When the car is stopped and I notice my bike alongside it, I turn to Chad. “You do what’s best for you.”
“Thanks. Hey, good luck,” he says when I get out.
“I don’t need luck. I have this.” I flash a wad of bills and a snarky smile.
He shakes his head in disapproval. “Like I said, good luck, King.”
“Thanks for the ride.”
“Anytime.”
Once I’m on my bike, I drive out of the nicer part of the city and meet Cruise by the bridge.
Word got out.
The welcome wagon is waiting for us when we arrive at the dilapidated building where April has taken up residence.
Four bikes and a car.
Fuck.
Why do I have a strong suspicion this isn’t a friendly welcome?
We stop at the other end. To my left, Cruise waits for me to make the final call. I ask, “Do you think we were set up?”
“I don’t think we’ll know unless we go for it.”
I’m hesitant to drag him into a situation that shouts danger. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“We’ve come this far.”