She looked up from her hot cocoa as she sat in front of the fire. “Okay.”
I retrieved the gift from my bag then returned downstairs. I’d never wrapped a present before, and thankfully, YouTube helped me figure it out. The only thing I didn’t struggle with was putting the bow on top.
I sat beside her on the hardwood floor with the gift in my lap.
She eyed it with excitement in her eyes. “You got me something?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want to give it to you in front of your family.”
She eyed the grandfather clock on the wall. “Well, it’s past midnight so it’s officially Christmas.”
I’d never put so much thought into a gift before, and I knew she would love it. “Here you go.” I handed it to her.
She smiled as she took it and immediately ripped into the wrapping paper. When it was off, she examined the muffin pan in her hands. Then she finally saw the engraving.
The Muffin Girl.
I made it into a nice logo like it was the name of a bakery. I pictured her using this to make her first batch of muffins on opening day.
She stared at it without reacting.
Now I was nervous she didn’t like it. Was it too forward? Was it offensive?
When she turned her gaze back to me, tears were in her eyes. “Hawke…” She ran her thumb along the engraving, feeling the grooves of the words. Then she sniffed loudly. “This is…the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”
Warmth spread through my body in a way I’d never experienced before. It was foreign and unfamiliar. Francesca was the only person who gave me any joy, but now she just gave me even more. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Like it?” She wiped her nose as she sniffed again. “I love it.” She set it down then moved into my arms. She hugged me tightly as she crawled into my lap. “Thank you so much.” Her face was pressed to my chest.
My arms immediately circled her waist and I held her close to me. Making her happy made me happy. It was the first time I felt that way. I’d been so focused on making everyone just as miserable as I was that I hadn’t realized how pointless it was. This actually made me feel good. Francesca made me feel good. I couldn’t care less if I ever got another gift for the rest of my life. This was the best Christmas gift I’d ever gotten.
She finally pulled away even though I didn’t want her to. She turned toward the tree then fished a small present out. “I got you something too.” She set the small present in my hands. It was thin but slightly long. It reminded me of a book. I wondered if that was what it was. But I told her I didn’t read so that wouldn’t make any sense.
“Open it,” she whispered.
I tore the wrapping off then discovered it was a book. But there was no title or author name. It was leather bound and looked like a journal. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful but I wasn’t sure how to react since I didn’t know what it was.
“It’s my journal.” Her voice came out quiet like she was nervous. “I started writing it before my mom passed away. I wrote in it every single day, even years after my father took his own life.”
I stared at her and felt my heart race. She was giving me the most personal thing a person possessed.
“I went through a lot of pain and heartache when everything happened. And when my dad left to join my mom, I was really angry. I hated him for being such a coward and leaving Axel and I behind as orphans. The bitterness possessed me for a long time. But one day…I finally got through it. I just thought…this could help you. I know you’ve been through a lot and there doesn’t seem to be an end to the pain. But I want to show you that there is.”
I felt the leather in my fingers before I opened the first page. Her small handwriting filled every inch of space. The date was written in the top right corner. Old tear stains marked the page in certain spots. I hadn’t realized my eyes were wet until I finally blinked. “I don’t know what to say…”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
I shut the journal then stared at her. Her green eyes were glossy with emotion, and her lips were pressed tightly together like she was trying to remain calm. Her long hair trailed down her chest, looking soft and touchable. The Christmas tree sparkled behind her, and the light from the roaring hearth moved across her skin.
The moment we met, there was something there. I didn’t know what it was, and I wasn’t even sure if it was real. But then she said she felt it too, whatever it was that existed between us. I was a dark man set in his ways, but the moment she walked into my life, I completely changed—for the better. I didn’t know what that connection was even though I’d spent every day trying to figure it out.
But now I knew.
***
“Hawke, do you have a woman in your life?” Yaya asked over breakfast one morning.
My immediate reaction was to look at Francesca but I stopped myself. That would have been a dead giveaway. I kept my eyes on my food. “No, I—”
“Tell her about that one girl you’re seeing,” Axel said while his mouth was full of food.