I didn’t hesitate, not for one fucking second. “Alright, let me help you.” I let go of her, pulling out my gun from the back of my jeans. Battling the craving to put a bullet between Alvaro’s eyes for trying to play me for a fucking fool, but mostly for getting Amira’s hopes up.
Instead, I glanced at the speedboat and aimed my gun toward the motherfucker’s head sitting in one of the seats. I recognized him when we were walking up. He was as shady and corrupt as they come. Not batting an eye, I pulled the trigger, sending his body propelling back into the ocean. Immediately feeling better that he wouldn’t be near Amira where he could do god knows what.
A few of the women screamed, holding on to each other for dear life. Except Amira. I think she was more shocked that I had just murdered a man for her freedom. Placing my gun back into its spot, I nodded to Alvaro who was suddenly pale as fuck.
“Looks like you just gained a spot,” I arrogantly declared, unfazed by the pussy standing in front of me.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Amira was about to take off, but not because she was scared of me. She now understood how serious I was about getting her to safety. I hauled her over to me by her arm, kicking and screaming before she even had a chance to haul ass. Putting up one hell of a fight to escape. Whipping her body around, she desperately tried to get out of my hold.
“Jesus Christ, Amira! Enough!” I roared once I threw her over my shoulder.
“Let me go,” she gritted, pulling at my arms. Scratching my hands, my back, anywhere she could. I barely wavered. “You don’t want to do this! I know you don’t want to send me away!”
“Amira, calm the fuck down!” I reasoned, only pissing her off further. Grabbing her by the wrists, halting her assault.
“Please! Please! I don’t want to go! Don’t do this, Damien! Please don’t do this!” Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears, and my body twisted with nothing but longing to fall apart. To finally let out all the emotions that were wreaking havoc on my core.
Not just from tonight, but from every moment since we laid eyes on each other.
“I hate you! Do you hear me? I hate you!” she screamed, wanting to get some sort of reaction out of me.
I stepped onto the speedboat, wading through the sea of fifteen to twenty people to get to her seat. Taking a minute to wipe off the son of a bitch’s blood with the sleeve of my jacket. As soon as I set her down, she crumbled in her seat. Looking out over at the water, not wanting to see me anymore. The slight breeze blew through her hair, visibly making her shiver. I ignored the stinging pain I felt from seeing her like that, it was minor compared to the pain she was feeling in her heart.
I crouched down in front of her, dodging her attempts to push me away, making her look at me instead. “I’m so fucking sorry…” I murmured, my voice breaking.
My heart shattering.
My world coming the fuck apart.
“One day, you’ll understand that this was the best decision for you.” With that, I kissed the top of her head for the last time, spun and left. Turning my back on the one girl who I loved with all my heart.
Our lives would forever change after that day.
Especially mine.
I didn’t give a fuck what time it was, I went straight to a bar and drank until I felt numb. By the time I stumbled back to my apartment, it was into the wee hours of the morning. Fumbling with my keys to get the front door open. Failing miserably to hold myself together. Except, I wish I could tell you I was expecting what happened next…
But I didn’t.
Not for one goddamn second.
I sat on the bed, taking in my surroundings. From the pictures on the walls, to the comforter below me, to the dark furniture that lined the room. My eyes couldn’t focus on one thing for very long, it hurt too much. I don’t know how long I sat there in that very spot, sinking deeper and deeper into the mattress, unable to move. Frozen in place.
I loved him.
I hated him.
Two conflicting feelings my heart couldn’t take. I mostly loved him still, but I wanted to hate him even more.
I hugged my arms around my torso, shivering from the cold, or maybe it was from my heart being ripped away from me. The absence of his warmth that brought me so much security was long gone. I sat there in a state of shock, trying to wrap my head around why he would do this to me, to us. Why he thought this was the best decision for me. As if I was still a child and couldn’t think for myself. I felt every emotion and then some, sitting in the dark room. It seemed so foreign, so unfamiliar or maybe that was just me. Feeling as though I had aged years and years in a short amount of time.
What would I do now?
I was beyond lost, not knowing which side was up, down, left, or right. Confused and disoriented among my own thoughts. Once again, the sanctuary in my mind was a void with nowhere to be found so I gave up, lying down on the bed that felt like a stranger’s. Curling up into a ball, trying to seek comfort within my empty embrace. I shut my eyes. Unable to keep them open any longer. Extremely exhausted in every sense of the word. I must have passed out, letting the darkness creep over me. Suffocating any light that was left within me.
My eyes started to flutter open and they instantly darted to the shadowy figure I saw out of the corner of my eye, coming face to face with the man I thought I would never see again.
“Please, tell me I’m fucking hallucinating right now and you’re not sleeping in my fucking bed,” Damien rasped in a tone I didn’t recognize.
The stench of alcohol immediately assaulted my senses. I could see his eyes were bloodshot red from the dim lighting of the moon. He was sitting in the armchair in the corner of his room, diagonally across from me. His lax body leaned back into the chair with his fingers perched against his lips.
I slowly sat up in the center of the bed, tucking my legs underneath me. Wrapping my arms around my torso, suddenly feeling cold again. Wishing the mattress would swallow me whole just to avoid the displeased expression on his face. Hating myself for disappointing him, yet again.
“If I told you I was an illusion, would you not be mad at me?” I questioned barely above a whisper.
He breathed out, shaking his head. “I’m way past mad. What the fuck, Amira? Do you have any idea how much planning it took to get you on that fucking boat?”
I muffled, “No, but I never asked you to do that.”
“Excuse me? If you’re going to show up at my fucking apartment, in my fucking bed you can’t pussy out now. The damage is already fucking done. You’re. Still. Here.”
He didn’t usually curse at me like this, or at least not this much. I assumed it had to be the liquor talking or he was just exceedingly upset with me. I chose to believe the first one.
“I said no. But I didn’t ask you to do that,” I repeated, louder that time.
He chuckled, rubbing his fingers along the ridges of his lips. “Un-fucking-believable. What did you do? Jump off the boat?”
“No. I just waited for you to leave and before the boat pushed back from the dock, I nicely asked the gentleman if he would let me off.”