“All of the above, Amira. Do I look like I need your protection? You’re just a little girl.”
“No! I think you need my love. My concern for you. I mean, somebody has to take care of you too. Mama Rosa has tried, but I’m way younger and capable, so… it’s my turn.” I smiled, stepping toward him until we were standing inches apart, looking up into his face. “In my defense, we’ve never talked about that horrific night, and I’ve spent the last five years trying to forget it. I remember you going off on Rosarío the same night, but so much was being discussed between the two of you that it was hard to keep up. I didn’t realize your father was one of the men…” I hesitated, wanting to choose my words wisely. “I’m just trying to explain to you that I would’ve never barged in like that if I would've known that he was one of them. I’m sorry, Damien. I didn’t mean to ruin everything you’ve sacrificed for me.”
“The damage is already done. There is no use in apologizing for things that can’t be changed.”
“Is that why you don’t like to talk about your family or your past? Because of what your father did to my—”
“It’s late, Amira, you need to go to bed.”
I frowned, not hiding my disappointment. I thought for once I was getting through to him. He was finally letting me in, only to slam me down once again.
“Can I sleep in your room with yo—”
“No.”
I bowed my head, sighing, “Okay.” But then he touched the end of my nose with his index finger, causing me to look up at him through my lashes.
“We can sleep on the couches. If you need me, I’ll still be there.”
I smiled as he nodded toward the living room for us to go inside, and right as I turned to go back in, I changed my mind at the last second. I spun back around, hugging him as tight as I could instead. “Please, don’t be mad at me. You’ve never been mad at me before, and I really don’t like it. I’m really sorry. All I want is for you to be safe. You and Mama Rosa are all I have. I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you too. I love you, Damien. You’re my family.”
He let out a heavy sigh, wrapping his arm around my torso, kissing the top of my head. I held in the tears that threatened at the surface, listening to his heart beating steadily against my cheek. I couldn’t understand why I was being so overly emotional tonight. Maybe it was because I hated the feeling of disappointing him, knowing so many others had done the same.
I wanted to be different…
I needed to be different.
For him.
“I know, Mu?eca. I know…”
And I knew in my heart.
He did.
“You better not be fucking me over. This is a life or death situation,” I stated over the phone, walking toward the dock.
“You have my word,” he replied.
“Your word means shit to me.”
“My word is all I have. I don’t fuck with women or kids, and I have no desire to start now.”
“So the devil does have a heart?”
Completely ignoring my statement, he continued on, “Alvaro will be wearing a white shirt, jeans, a ball cap, and a fucking smile. He will also have a newspaper in his hand. I’ll be in touch.”
“Wait!” I stressed, knowing he was about to hang up. “I just wanted to say thank you… for everything.”
“Don’t thank me yet. She’s still not in the clear.” With that, he hung up.
I placed my cell phone in my back pocket, arriving at Ciudad Mar dock. Searching for the man who he had just described seconds ago. It didn’t take long to spot him on the pier. He was leaning against a tie-up post, actually reading the fucking newspaper.
“Alvaro, I presume?”
Peering over the paper, he nodded. Eyeing me up and down, taking in my appearance. “Yeah. I didn’t catch your name?”
“No shit. I didn’t give it out. You don’t need to know who I am.” I did a quick sweep of the perimeter with my eyes. Checking our surroundings before reaching into my jacket and pulling out an envelope full of hundred-dollar bills. “My money will speak for itself.” I handed it over to him.
He looked inside, smirking. “Don’t need to count it, right? You look like you’re good for fifteen grand or more.”
“You can wipe your ass with it for all I care. I just need to know when and where the drop off is?” I resisted the urge to wipe the smug expression off his face.
“You’re looking at it. Be back here tonight at midnight.”
I nodded and left. There was no need for pleasantries. He was a means to an end. Besides, it was Amira’s fifteenth birthday, and I was already running behind. I tried not to think about anything on the drive over to Rosarío’s, but that was easier said than done. My mind was fucking spiraling out of control, more so than usual these last six months. The one thing I didn’t want to dwell on was the only thing that wouldn’t go the fuck away.
“Tell me, how are your law classes going?” Emilio inquired from behind his desk.
“The same as last week when you asked.”
“You’ve been in college for quite a few months now. Your grades from the spring semester have you at the top of your class. Not to mention the double course load you’re taking. I’m surprised you can even sleep, let alone fuck.”
I chuckled, “Priorities, I do what I can.”
He leaned back into his leather chair, propping his boots up on his desk, getting comfortable. “I always told your father, Rosarío was spoiling you. I can only imagine how much she is now that you’re a full-time student. How is the old bat by the way?”
His eyes glazed over. It was quick, but I saw it. This wasn’t one of our usual conversations. He was subtly interrogating me. Looking for I don’t know what.
“She is the same as she’s always been,” I casually retorted, not missing a beat.
“You know I stopped by the other day, but no one was home.”
He was so full of shit. Salazar wouldn’t dare walk into Rosarío’s modest home. In fact, he didn’t even know where she resided, now that she no longer lived with my father. Rosarío fucking hated him, avoiding him at all costs. He knew it too. He was reaching, trying to make me slip up.
“That’s a shame, she would have loved seeing you.” I played along, not giving him a fucking inch. Making sure to keep steady eye contact with the man I used to admire. When people lied, their eyes shifted or they blinked. No civilian would ever notice that.
Well, except Emilio or myself.
The horn honking in front of my car brought me back to the present. That was the last time Salazar questioned me about Rosarío, two months ago. Between my father knowing about Amira and Emilio sniffing around, I knew I was making the right choice. Even though it might kill me to have to do it. I made it over to Rosarío’s a few minutes later, cursing myself for being so late. I grabbed the small pink gift bag off the passenger seat and walked right inside, not bothering to knock anymore. The music and laughter grew louder and sharper with every step I took toward the back of the house. Knowing exactly where I’d find Amira.