My cock certainly wants more action now that Ramon’s back in the picture. A picture he should have been in all along.
As I step off the elevator, Ramon is leaning against the wall across from it. I pause mid-step and let my eyes caress over his body. He’s gotten rid of his jacket, and the dark shirt he’s wearing is hanging open, which allows me a glimpse of his perfectly chiseled chest. My mouth goes dry and my gaze is pulled to the bulge behind his zipper. I can see the damp patch from earlier, which makes me want to unzip him and taste.
I search Ramon’s eyes for some sign that we’re really moving forward and that he isn’t regretting what happened not too long ago in the elevator. To my relief, I don’t see regret, but I do see doubt. My heart thuds when I realize it’s me who’s put that look on his face. I’m going to have my work cut out convincing him that I’m here to stay. I’m not going to up and walk out on him again.
He says he isn’t the same man that I left. I don’t believe him. He may be hiding behind a shield, but the Ramon I fell in love with is still there. When he starts believing in me again, hopefully, he’ll be able to lower that shield and let me in.
Keeping my gaze locked with his, I get my feet moving and when I’m in front of Ramon, I reach out and caress his cheek.
I smile when a breath of air whooshes out of his mouth.
Leaving his face, I caress down his neck, along his collarbone, before moving down over his chest. Rubbing his nipples, I move in closer and swallow back my own rising passion when I feel Ramon’s hard groin against my own.
“We...need...fuck,” he groans.
I smile, knowing it’s my mouth on his skin that caused his loss of thought.
Ramon finally touches me, and holds my head against his chest, as I swirl my tongue around one of his nipples.
Raising my head, I meet his heated gaze and take a great deal of delight when I watch him trying to pull himself together. I’ve always been able to wipe his mind of everything but me. My slightest caress can cause him to lose track of what he’s thinking. I’m glad that hasn’t changed.
“We,” he inhales, “need to go inside.”
Gripping his hips, I walk him backward into the apartment and kick the door shut with my foot. Reaching behind me, I pull the deadbolt into place.
While I’m distracted with the door, Ramon moves away, leaving my arms and heart empty.
“Is this how it’s going to be between us from now on?” I call out to him, unable to keep my emotions out of my voice. I know that he’ll hear how desperate…how hurt I am by him pulling away.
Ramon’s temper is starting to kick in. His jaw looks like granite and his eyes have darkened just like they do when he’s heavily aroused or, like now, angry. “You’re the one who has put the doubt in my head so you have no one to blame but yourself. You also need to stop reading too much into my actions.” He runs his hands through his dark hair. “Fuck, Noah. I came in my fucking pants in the elevator,” he bites out. “I want a shower.” He sighs.
Shit!
Turning, his shoulders droop before he straightens and heads to his room. At the doorway, he whispers over his shoulder, “I’ll see you in the morning,” before disappearing behind his now closed door.
Well, I blew that.
Rubbing my chest where my heart aches, I turn and head into the guest room.
As much as I want to stay living in Ramon’s apartment with him, I can’t. It’s going to hurt too much being around him when all I see is indifference for me reflecting from his eyes. I don’t really believe that he feels that way, but for whatever reason, that seems to be what he wants me to believe.
I deserve it. I know I do. I just didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it does. I thought I was man enough to handle any shit that came my way from Ramon. But I’m not. Anyone else, yes, but not from the man I love.
I don’t have anywhere else to go, but I’m used to living in motels now so what’s one more?
Grabbing my duffle, I shove my few belongings inside and hesitate.
No matter how indifferent Ramon is to me, I’m not sure I have it in me to just up and disappear. I promised I’d never do that again.
With a heavy heart, I head into the living room to find the pen and pad of paper Ramon always has lying around. I come to a stop when I see Ramon standing with a drink in his hand as he stares out of the window. He’s back in his favorite sweats with his hair still damp from his shower.
Do I have the strength to walk away from this man? I’m not sure.
My duffle slides to the floor, and I drop heavily into the chair closest to me, which alerts Ramon to the fact that he isn’t alone anymore.
He turns and his gaze pauses on my duffle before momentarily landing on me.
In that moment, I see surprise and pain flicker in his eyes.