And Jay was fucking done. His body bunched up and he practically hollered as his balls, which Landon jiggled with the tips of his fingers, pulled up. “Fuck, I’m cumming. I’m cumming.”
And he did. He lost it. That door in his mind he’d been shutting off, the one he hadn’t even known was closed, blew off the fucking hinges and all those synapses fired as his cock emptied into Landon’s mouth. Landon hummed his pleasure as he swallowed everything Jay had to give.
Jay let go of Landon’s head and Landon came up to standing, looking uncertain. All Jay could come up with as his body still sang was, “I didn’t know.” He said the words in wonder, in awe of what had just happened. This felt almost like a religious experience. “I didn’t,” Jay said. And he was scared shitless, so he pulled Landon in for a kiss to shut up his mind and keep him from asking questions. He wasn’t ready for any shame to settle in or to give up at the moment.
Tasting himself on Landon’s tongue was heady, and knowing Landon had swallowed his load had his cock trying to stay hard. Fuck.
When their lips parted finally, Landon lay his forehead on Jay’s and Jay wanted to freak out. But a tear slid down Landon’s face from his closed eyes.
“Please don’t hate me,” Landon whispered, keeping his eyes closed like a kid hiding from the big bad wolf.
Jay gave in to his instinct to pull Landon in. “I don’t. I don’t.” He didn’t. He was fucking terrified and confused and lost and so many fucking things. But he didn’t hate Landon. But they’d have to wait until his brain was back online to sort this out. So for now, he’d just hold Landon, because it might be the only time he did it without hating himself.
Chapter 10
By unspoken agreement, after they’d righted their clothes and tucked themselves away, Landon went home. He was surprised when Jay wrapped his hand behind Landon’s head, carded his fingers through the hair back there, and pulled Landon’s head down to place a soft kiss on Landon’s forehead.
The kiss felt like a goodbye, an apology. And Landon feared what that apology might be for. He’d driven around the dirt roads behind their houses for hours trying to make sense of what had happened.
It’d been almost scary how much he’d needed to be with Jay, how much Jay had needed in return. He’d felt every tremor, every gasp from Jay. The energy had been intense. Their goodbye had been as charged as the sex.
Landon feared he’d fucked up, royally. Now he knew how Jay tasted, how sweet he looked when he came. Landon craved the man with a fierceness that hurt.
So when Jay called out on Monday, telling Ms. Lynne he was sick, Landon prepared to mourn the friendship. He knew Jay wouldn’t say anything to anyone. But he was horrified Jay might hate him, even though he’d said he didn’t.
Tuesday rolled around with no word from Jay, and Landon decided it was probably best to forget their encounter ever happened. It’d been an emotionally charged moment and Jay’d not gotten laid in forever. Maybe shit just got carried away.
Either way, it made no sense and Landon felt like garbage. Of course, he figured that was what it got him for hooking up with a straight man, or at least, one who was so buried in the closet he didn’t know he was gay or bi, himself.
But, it started the deep down itch to maybe get the fuck on out of Stewart, Mississippi, once and for all. He’d helped out as long as he could, and his mama and Jay were right. He was wasting his abilities and his brains, and he’d never find someone to be with if he stayed there. Hell, he didn’t even have a friend’s shoulder to cry on right then, unless he wanted to drive a couple hours. Since he had to work so early the next morning, there was no way to go see Mitch.