She nodded, her expression going solemn again at the mention of why they were here in the middle of the wilderness in the middle of the night.
The urge to go to her was strong, but he resisted. He knew what would happen if he went to her now. If he touched her. She’d always driven him just a little bit nuts. Even after three years of marriage he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her. Five years of celibacy wasn’t helping matters. Neither was the way those jeans swept over one of the nicest backsides he’d ever laid eyes on.
Turning away from her, he stalked toward the stream, praying an ice-cold shower would keep him from doing something both of them would end up regretting.
Chapter 8
K elly couldn’t believe he’d actually warmed water over the fire for her before funneling it into the bag. Hidden from view by nothing more than the thick darkness and a sleeping bag hung from a branch, she stepped beneath the nozzle and flipped the switch that started the spray. Warm water trickled over her, feeling wonderful against her aching muscles. Not sure how long five gallons of water would last, she soaped up quickly. She knew she would probably regret getting her hair wet, but the need to be clean overrode the prospect of freezing later.
Buzz had already showered and was back at camp. Occasionally, she would hear him blowing the whistle. He’d been on the radio to Rocky Mountain Search and Rescue Headquarters twice in the last couple of hours. There were half a dozen volunteers and Search and Rescue professionals sweeping a ten-square-mile area, but no one had seen her little boy. Aside from the candy wrapper she and Buzz had found earlier, it was almost as if he’d disappeared.
Buzz hadn’t mentioned the fire to the north, but she knew the news wasn’t good. The winds continued to whip southward. That could only mean the fire was being driven straight at them. She knew Buzz would never tell her that; he didn’t want to scare her or cause her to panic. But she saw the truth written on his face as clearly as if someone had printed it in big, bold letters.
She tried hard to stay optimistic. Buzz had taught her a lot about the importance of keeping an optimistic attitude. How important that was to maintain energy and clarity and all the things that would keep her effective and help the search.
At times, though, she felt as if every emotion, every nerve in her body was unraveling. It wouldn’t surprise her one bit to find herself reduced to nothing more than a shredded mess of broken pieces on the forest floor. She missed Eddie so much it hurt. She could picture him so perfectly in her mind. The freckles on his nose. The dimple on his chin. The cowlick at his crown that made his hair stick up in the morning. She could hear his sweet voice. Conjure up that ornery look he got in his eye when he challenged her. She could smell his little-boy scent so clearly she felt that if she closed her eyes and reached out he would be there.
At that moment, Kelly would have sold her soul to know he was safe. Even if she couldn’t have him with her, she just wanted him to be safe. His well-being was all she cared about. As long as he was safe, she could handle the physical and emotional stress of searching for him. She would search these mountains until she could no longer move. And she wouldn’t rest until she held him safe in her arms.
“Please, God, keep him safe for me,” she whispered. “Keep him safe until I can get to him. Please.”
Realizing she’d used nearly all the water, Kelly rinsed the soap from her hair, then twisted the switch. The water dribbled, then stopped. Cold night air pricked her wet skin. Shivering, she quickly dried with the small towel Buzz had given her, and dressed. By the time she unhooked the empty reservoir from the tree branch, she felt almost human again.
Almost.
Ten yards from the camp she spotted Buzz, sitting on the flat side of a fallen log holding a steaming mug of coffee and wearing a troubled expression. The sight of him sitting alone and obviously deep in thought stopped her in her tracks. For an instant, she just stood there unseen and unnoticed, staring at him, thinking she’d never seen a man look so isolated—or alone.
For a crazy instant, she wanted to go to him, put her arms around him to let him know that wasn’t the case at all. She knew it was a crazy idea considering the kiss they’d shared earlier in the day. The kiss that had left her head swimming—and her body remembering how things had once been between them.