Instead, he set up their sleeping bags on either side of the small fire, then busied himself with setting up and lighting the cooking stove. He’d thought keeping busy with the mundane business of setting up camp would keep his mind off the kiss—what it meant in terms of his having moved on with his life—but his efforts were futile.
Damn it, he wasn’t some school kid dumbstruck with hormones. He was a forty-year-old man. Mature enough to know that messing around with his ex-wife was a very bad idea. She might appeal to him on a physical level, but Buzz knew that beneath that enticing exterior was a truckload of trouble he had absolutely no desire to deal with. She’d made it clear she wanted nothing to do with a man who made his living putting his life on the line. He was crazy to be lusting after her at a time like this. She’d neglected to tell him about his son, for God’s sake. Robbed him of the opportunity to be a father to Eddie. How could he be attracted to a woman who’d betrayed him in such a terrible way?
Buzz’s body wasn’t as discriminating as his mind.
Five years was a long time for a man to be alone. He’d told himself he hadn’t taken a lover since the divorce because he’d been too busy. First with fixing up the cabin in Evergreen. Then with his work for Rocky Mountain Search and Rescue. He had a hundred excuses for not pursuing a relationship with some of the women he’d met over the years. For one, he didn’t need the headaches that came with having a woman in his life.
But Buzz had always prided himself on being honest. Not only with others, but with himself. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he knew the main reason he hadn’t pursued a relationship was because he knew there was no woman who would ever replace what he’d had with Kelly. No other woman who would ever measure up. Stupidly, he hadn’t wanted to settle for anything less.
Damned fool.
Across from him, the woman in question was lying on her sleeping bag. Her knees were up and she had her forearm thrown over her eyes as if trying to block out the rest of the world. Her shirt had ridden up slightly, and he could plainly see the way her jeans hugged her hips and stretched tightly over her flat belly. Even as she lay on her back, he could see the jut of her breasts through her T-shirt. He still remembered the way her nipples had felt against his fingertips. The way the nubs had stiffened through the thin material of her bra….
Buzz had told her two hours of rest, a quick meal, then they would begin searching for Eddie again. How was he supposed to rest when every time he looked at her he got so hot he couldn’t stand it?
Angry with himself for having made such a stupid mistake as kissing her, frustrated because he could still feel the hard knot of arousal in his groin, he rose from his sleeping bag and stalked over to his backpack, which he’d hung from a nearby tree branch.
“Where are you going?”
Opening his backpack, he tossed her a protein bar and a small bag of dried fruit, then proceeded to remove the portable shower unit from its case. “I’m going to rinse off some of this dust and sweat,” he said. And make sure the water is damn cold, a little voice chimed in.
She looked more interested in the shower than the protein bar. Rising, she walked over to him, eyeing the plastic contraption with curiosity. “You brought a shower?”
He nodded without meeting her gaze. “It’s just a collapsible plastic container with a hose and nozzle.”
“I’d kill for some soap and water right now.”
“It’s going to be cold.”
“It’s going to feel like a million bucks. How does it work?”
Buzz held up the plastic reservoir. “This holds about five gallons of water when it’s full. Weighs less than a pound when it’s empty. All I’ve got to do is fill it up with water, then hang it from a tree branch.” He fingered the eighteen-inch hose and nozzle. “The water flows down this hose and out this little plastic showerhead.”
“All the comforts of home.”
He scowled at her, trying not to think about five gallons of water sluicing over secret places he knew better than to visualize. “It’ll do in a pinch.”
“I suppose this qualifies as a pinch.”
“The casing is black, so in daylight, the sun heats the water.”
The mention of heat conjured images of the kiss. Damn it, everything seemed to make him think of that. When this was all over with, and he got back to civilization, he was going to find himself a woman and work off some of this frustration.
Swearing under his breath, he looked over his shoulder toward the stream. “I’m going to run down to the river and fill this thing, then shower up. Why don’t you go ahead and eat. Make some coffee. I’ll let you know when I’m finished. You can shower, and we’ll start searching again.”