She was already nodding her head vigorously. “I can do it,” she said. “I’m in good shape, Buzz.”
Buzz knew exactly what kind of shape she was in—he’d seen the way she filled out those jeans and that T-shirt. Yeah, her shape was the one thing he didn’t want to think about it. He also knew that even if she wasn’t in top physical condition, she would look for her child until she dropped from exhaustion—and he wouldn’t hear a sound from her until her body hit the ground.
“Let’s go,” he said and started down the trail.
“Eddie!”
Kelly shouted for her son until her voice was hoarse. Buzz used the whistle every five minutes or so. It seemed as if they’d been following the creek forever. Darkness had long since fallen, but neither of them acknowledged it. The wind whistled through the treetops, carrying with it the pungent tang of smoke. In the distance, she could hear the rush of white water over rocks. It had been their constant companion since they’d started following the stream. There hadn’t seen a sign of Eddie since she’d found the candy wrapper, and she fought despair with every step she took.
Where on earth was he?
“Eddie!” she cried.
“Kel.”
“Sweetheart, it’s Mommy! I’m here! Eddie!”
She jolted when strong hands landed gently upon her shoulders. She’d been so focused on her surroundings, on looking for her son, she hadn’t even realized it when Buzz walked up to her.
“It’s almost 2:00 a.m.,” Buzz said. “Let’s stop for a couple of hours and get some sleep.”
“I won’t be able to sleep,” she said automatically.
“Then we’ll just sit for a while and rest.”
When she only looked at him, he grimaced then raised his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Kel, you’re exhausted.”
“I’m okay. Damn it, I’m fine.”
“You can barely stand upright.”
“I appear to be doing just that.”
“Just because you can walk doesn’t mean you’re worth a damn as far as seeing what you need to see.”
“I can keep going.”
“What about tomorrow, Kel? What about the next day?”
“I’ll…we’ll have him by then,” she said, trying not to hear the desperation in her voice.
“You’ve got to rest or you’re not going to be any help to anyone, including Eddie. I want you sharp, not zoned out because you refused to listen to common sense. Come on.”
For the first time that day the heavy hand of despair pressed down on her. Up until now, hope and progress had fueled her. She hadn’t even been tired. But suddenly the lead weight of fatigue dropped over her with such force that her arms and legs were too heavy to move. Her feet throbbed. Her back ached. Worst of all, she felt as if her heart were about to break.
Turning, she looked at Buzz, saw the same bone-deep fatigue in his face, and she realized she didn’t even have the energy to argue with him.
“This is all my fault,” she whispered. “If I hadn’t gone after Bunky Bear. If I hadn’t fallen—”
He raised a finger, pressed it firmly against her mouth. “Don’t let me hear you say that again.”
“If I hadn’t taken him on such a long hike—”
“Don’t get into the what-ifs, Kel. It’s a waste of energy, and counterproductive as hell. You’re going to need all the energy you can muster in the coming hours.”
She knew he was right. But she couldn’t help but think that none of this would have happened if she hadn’t gone down that ravine in the first place.
“He can’t be far away,” Buzz said.
“This is his second night.” Pain knifed through her at the thought of her little boy enduring a second night of hunger and cold and fear. “He probably doesn’t have any food left. He’s probably out of water. He’s going to be hungry and thirsty and cold. Oh, God, I can’t stand thinking—”
“He’s a strong little boy, Kel. Sure, it’s hard, but he’ll get through it. I’ve searched for children in these mountains before. They’re amazingly strong and resilient and smart. Even the young ones. Let’s just stay calm and keep our heads, okay?”
She nodded, knowing he was right, but still felt as if she was coming apart inside.
He looked around and pointed toward a relatively flat area protected from the wind by jutting rock. “Let’s set up camp over there.”
Kelly nodded, but she couldn’t keep her eyes from skimming the surrounding trees and rocks. There were a thousand places where Eddie could have taken refuge. He could have fallen and be lying somewhere unconscious. He could have slipped off one of the boulders and into the rushing water. Or the cougar that had left the tracks could have…
The pain nearly doubled her over. She stopped walking, had to concentrate on catching her breath.
“Don’t let your mind get the best of you, Kel.”