CHAPTER 15
Matthew Watkins At the first Thanksgiving, one of the bloodiest battles ensued when it was discovered that the deliveryman forgot to bring extra duck sauce.
Finn Is God is, on this enchanted evening, in love with a wonderful guy.
Julie Seagle Going to write a book called “Binge, Screw, Loathe.” It will be about a hateful woman who travels across the US visiting all-you-can-eat brothels.
Julie giggled at Finn’s reference to the musical South Pacific. She knew where he was now.
It was the Friday night of Thanksgiving break, and Julie was itching to get back to Boston and end the torture that this trip had become. She hadn’t bothered to return any of her friends’ phone calls and even had her mom tell callers that she hadn’t come home for the break. Since the scene on Thursday, she’d pretty much been holed up in her bedroom working, and except for one snarly conversation about her lousy attitude, her mother had left her alone. She had nearly finished her paper on poverty and took a break from spell-checking to go online.
Her e-mail held twenty-some messages from friends in Ohio wondering why she wasn’t home; there was nothing worse than missing the most badass party at Jacob O’Malley’s tonight! Whatever. Nothing from Seth, but his parents had decided that the holiday weekend in Vermont was going to be technology-free.
She and Celeste had taken to studying at the coffeehouse after school once a week, and Seth had proved to be completely unfazed by Flat Finn’s presence. He was an all-around good guy: smart, funny, a hard worker, sweet to Julie, and patient. Between classes, homework, Seth’s job, and Julie’s long days with Celeste, it’d been hard to get together alone more than once a week, if that. So their relationship was on a slower track than normal. While most of Julie’s friends from school spent nearly every night with their boyfriends in the dorms, Julie and Seth were taking it slow. Being responsible. Smart. Methodical.
But Julie thought that was a good thing. They held hands and messed around a little in his car, and Julie wasn’t rushing into anything else. So far Seth had understood. Not that he wasn’t a good kisser, because he was. And not that Julie didn’t have raging hormones, because she did. She just wasn’t in a huge rush.
A lot of Julie’s time was eaten up by the exorbitant amount of schoolwork that she had. She was killing herself to keep up, and it was paying off with excellent grades. Even her calculus class was going better than she’d hoped, and Matt had helped her out more than a few times whenever she’d needed it. For someone so intellectually smug, he was a surprisingly good teacher, and they often studied together at night. So far she hadn’t found any opportunity to help him out with anything, of course, but one could hold out hope that there might be an occasion where Matt got stumped.
Julie wasn’t holding her breath on that one.
She stretched her arms above her head and yawned. It was only ten o’clock, but she was worn out. This trip home had hardly been energizing. She deleted a few more messages and then saw that there was one from Finn. Julie and Finn had been in touch regularly over the past few months. In fact, she checked her e-mail more often than she liked to admit. He liked receiving her updates on Celeste, and she liked all the cool pictures from his travels.
She read his e-mail because she was fairly confident that Finn was not going to invite her to an annoying party, make her wear a holiday outfit, or proselytize about why those in poverty deserve what they got.
Julie–
Hope your trip home is going well? I’m in the Cook Islands. Fan-freakin’-tastic here!
Wanted to give you a heads-up: I heard that Flat Finn sustained an injury the other day. Nothing major, though. Something to do with Matt, a steaming iron, and maniacal shouts of “There are no wrinkles allowed in this house! You may be flat, but you’re not smooth enough yet for this family!” From all reports, Matt Dearest had an alarming, fortunately temporary, reaction to the traditional Thanksgiving moo shu pork. Celeste bonked him over the head with an LL Bean umbrella and he returned to his normal state. I think she should’ve hit him again, but that’s just my opinion.
–Finn
Clearly the Watkins household was falling apart in her absence.
Finn–
Ohio is…not that great actually. Family members are driving me crazy. Thanksgiving was a nightmare. I spent twenty minutes listening to my oldest cousin reenact some stand-up comedian’s routine from Comedy Central (not funny and poor delivery), tried to get my aunt interested in what I was reading in my Eng. Class (failure level=high), observed a paper turkey go up in flames (an appropriate holiday sign regarding good taste), and verbally abused my offensive uncle (well-deserved) in an explosive scene that will live on in memory for years to come.
Can’t wait to get back to Boston for a million reasons. Need to return to normal. Will assess damage to Flat Finn and berate Matt for his outburst.
How are the Cook Islands? The South Pacific must be amazing. Any chance you’re awake now? I need someone normal to chat with. I don’t know what time it is there…
–Julie
Two minutes later, she heard back.
Julie–
I’m up. I’m five hours earlier than you are. Turn on FB chat!
–Finn
Oh. By chat she hadn’t actually meant chat, as in instant message chat. She hadn’t felt like IMing with anyone in ages. Not only did she now feel so far removed from her old life, but also she loathed all the IM and texting abbreviations and acronyms. She was a snob like that and knew she fell into the minority of people her age. How was she supposed to know that DQMOT meant Don’t quote me on this? And that crap like CUL8ER? Blech. It was all so cutesy and corny. B4N? Seriously, just say good-bye like a normal person. OK, true she used the occasional LOL and WTF, but trying to translate an entire sentence that had been abbreviated into a few letters was more than she wanted to deal with. Julie suspected that billions of brain cells were being killed each hour as people shortened language into indecipherable code. As much as she loved technology, this sort of lingo was one of her top pet peeves. And now she was about to do it again with Finn. She’d probably have to pull up some online dictionary to translate this conversation, but she went on to Facebook’s chat anyway.
Julie Seagle
Hey!
Finn Is God
Hey, back!
And then she panicked. Well, this had been a dumb idea. Why had she said chat? What was she supposed to say now? It wasn’t as if she actually knew Finn, and here she’d gone ahead without thinking and agreed to this. And she couldn’t very well back out now.
Finn Is God
I am concerned about that last e-mail. You’re quantifying me as “normal”?
Julie Seagle
Only in comparison to my relatives.
Finn Is God
Huge relief. Less pressure to behave now.
Julie Seagle
Go nuts. You can’t possibly be that bad.
Finn Is God
Just wait…!
Julie Seagle
Very funny.
Julie tapped her foot during the seemingly endless four-minute pause. Topics, topics…What could they talk about? Ugh, this was a colossal mistake. He’d probably dozed off because she was so excruciatingly boring. Then finally Finn piped up.
Finn Is God
What are you wearing?
Oh. My. God. This had now gone beyond colossal mistake to violently alarming. What the hell was she supposed to do now?
Finn Is God
Julie? Relax. I’m kidding.
Julie laughed. Not only was he funny, but he wrote using actual whole words!
Julie Seagle
[Delete] [Delete] [Delete] Was just about to give you a full description of enticing bedroom attire.
Finn Is God
Oh. NOT KIDDING! NOT KIDDING!
Finn Is God
Fine. Kidding. Tell me more about Thanksgiving there. First time home should have been fun.
Julie Seagle
You would think. Big fight at the table. Didn’t help that I wouldn’t wear the pilgrim hat. More settled in Boston than I thought, and this whole trip just feels…disruptive.
Finn Is God
More disruptive than living in my house? You’re clearly unbalanced.
Julie Seagle
Hey! I like your house. Your parents are great, Celeste is my buddy, and Matt has been really nice.
Julie Seagle
Even Flat Finn seems to have accepted me.
Finn Is God
*sob* Fear real family has been abducted and replaced with well-behaved clones. Tragedy. Enjoy new clone mommy!
Julie Seagle
So sorry for your loss, but the difference between our moms? Your so-called clone mom hooked me up w/awesome Harvard intel, and my mom doubled the hay pile display out front.
Finn Is God
Lucky girl. I’d take the hay and run.
Julie Seagle
Ha ha! Don’t be mean.
Finn Is God
I’ll put it this way: Erin is not as perfect as you may think.
Julie Seagle
Does she make you wear holiday hats too?
Finn Is God
She takes a different strategy to torture us.
Julie Seagle
Really? I have more in common with her than my own mother.
Finn Is God
That’s a horrible thing to say about yourself. Appearances are not everything. Case in point: One summer when I was at day camp, I made her an art project. She spent weeks saying how weird it was that I’d made her a woodcarving that said “WOW.”
Julie Seagle
???
Julie Seagle
Oh, wait a minute…!
Finn Is God
Yeah. She had it upside down. It was supposed to read “MOM.”
Julie Seagle
I’m sorry, but that IS funny!
Finn Is God
That’s my mother for you. I think she still has it. And is probably still under the wrong impression.
Julie Seagle
Oh, my. Sort of sweet in a tragic way.
Finn Is God
What about your parents? Love ’em or want to mail them back to Walmart?
Julie Seagle
Costco, actually. Mom is OK. A little…lacking depth, maybe? But nice. Dad is not around much.
Finn Is God
Where is he?
Julie Seagle
They divorced when I was five, and I only get to see him a few times a year since then. He works all over the country, and it’s hard to coordinate times to see him.
Finn Is God
Sorry to hear that. You deserve better.
Julie Seagle
Not a big deal. I’m used to it. And it’s great when I do see him.
Finn Is God
When do you go back to Boston?
Julie Seagle
Sunday morning. Really early flight. Home by noon, I think.
Finn Is God
You’re calling it “home” now?
Julie Seagle
Uh…Apparently.
Julie Seagle
How long are you in the South Pacific? Sounds so exotic.
Finn Is God
Probably three weeks. Just got here last Sunday. Exotic experience started early while on the looooong flight. Ate a distinct meal of fermented cheese on canvas-y crackers.
Julie Seagle
Mmmm…. Yummy!
Finn Is God
Dessert was even more exotic: congealed glob of rice pudding. Can still taste it!
Julie Seagle
Now you’ll just keep booking flights all over the world.
Finn Is God
I live for airline food. Nothing gets me off more than small portions of gunk on a tray. And sporks, of course.
Finn Is God
Love sporks!
Julie Seagle
Am making a note of your fetishes.
Finn Is God
It’s gonna be a long list.
Julie Seagle
Understood. Tell me the best thing you’ve done on this trip so far.
Finn Is God
Bungee jumped. So awesome.
Julie Seagle
Ugh. I would NEVER. How was it?
Finn Is God
Complete rush. Phenomenal. You’re not a daredevil?
Julie Seagle
No way. Total wuss. I nearly faint on escalators. What other crazy things have you done?
Julie Seagle
Oh, let me guess! Are those your skydiving shirts I saw?
Finn Is God
Yup. Want to go sometime?
Julie Seagle
Uh, let me think…NO!
Finn Is God
Come on! You’ll love it. Maybe. It’s nothing like an escalator.
Julie Seagle
Again, NO!
Finn Is God
But don’t tell my parents. They don’t know about my risky activities.
Julie Seagle
Seriously?
Finn Is God:
They’d freak.
Julie Seagle
Understood. Lips are sealed.
Finn Is God
I want to go bungee jumping in South America next. Right by waterfalls. Supposed to be gorgeous.
Julie Seagle
So many bungee jumps to make. Sounds like I won’t get to meet the renowned Finn anytime soon.
Finn Is God
Probably not. Pretty committed for a while. We’ll see. Hard to pass up these opportunities. Be good to meet you, though. But at least we can chat for now!
Julie Seagle
True. And I kind of feel like I know you already. Weird.
Finn Is God
I know what you mean.
Julie Seagle
Think it’s because I’m staying in your room and absorbing Finn vibes?
Finn Is God
The vibes from the stinky monster poop in the closet? Yes, that’s it.
Julie Seagle
So that’s the funky smell. I’ve been wondering.
Finn Is God
Apologies. Boys are gross.
Julie Seagle
Not all boys.
Finn Is God
If I’d known you’d be staying in my room, I would have tried harder to make a better impression.
Finn Is God
Will work on bolstering my image!
Julie Seagle
Not necessary. You’re very charming.
Finn Is God
You don’t need pictures of me in a tuxedo, cleaned up, trying to look suave and presentable?
Julie Seagle
I don’t need tuxedos to be impressed.
Finn Is God
Hmm…
Finn Is God
What do you need?
Julie Seagle
Still trying to figure that one out.
And so it went for the next two hours. Finn IM’d her more pictures, gave her more details on his many trips, and asked lots of questions about her classes, her family, her friends. She didn’t mention Seth because…well, Finn didn’t specifically ask. And she didn’t know exactly where she stood with Seth, so there wasn’t much to say right now anyway. Was he a real boyfriend? Or were they just dating casually?
And, yes, she kept flirting. Because it was harmless and fun, and truthfully, she just couldn’t help herself. There was something extraordinarily intoxicating about this Finn.
Finn Is God
OK, so Thanksgiving didn’t work out so well for you. Winter break? Will it be a step up?
Julie Seagle
Of course. But I’ll be in California with my dad for three weeks, so I’ll miss Mom’s stockings and trees and lights.
Julie Seagle
Illuminated reindeer statues on the lawn, drunk Santa at the mall, pop stars releasing carol collections, etc. What more could a girl want?
Finn Is God
Hold on. Are you anti-Christmas?
Julie Seagle
Nah. Just kidding! I love Christmas. Mom covers the entire living room in white twinkle lights and puts real candles on the tree.
Julie Seagle
On Christmas Eve, I slide under the tree and look up through the branches at the lights. Hokey, but my tradition.
Finn Is God
Do you lie there and make a wish for the New Year?
Julie Seagle
Exactly. Silly, I guess.
Finn Is God
What do you wish for?
Julie Seagle
Depends on the year. Could be to marry some dopey teen idol.
Julie Seagle
Or to get stranded on a deserted island with Prince Charming and an endless supply of sunscreen.
Finn Is God
So your Christmas tradition is centered on cute boys, huh?
Julie Seagle
I never said they were lofty fantasies.
Finn Is God
Oh, now they’re FANTASIES, are they? So you need to be alone for this tradition, I guess…*cough, cough*
Julie Seagle
Very funny. I’ll go with “dreams” then. Not just about cute boys (although I guess that has been a theme), but more about being…I don’t know…generally satisfied. Content. Complete. I don’t know…It sounds lame when I say it. (Or type it.)
Julie Seagle
Dreaming about the future. Wondering what’s ahead for me. Coming-of-age nonsense. Corny.
Finn Is God
It’s not nonsense. I think that’s very cool.
Julie Seagle
Very cool until hot wax falls from the branches and burns my eyeballs. That actually happened. Candles on the tree=dangerous fire hazard. But what’s a holiday without a little danger?
Julie Seagle
Oh look! There’s the risk-taking behavior you were looking for!
Finn Is God
That’s pushing it, kid.
Finn Is God
Maybe you’re not cut out for real danger. That’s OK. Not all my interests run the risk of crashing thousands of feet. Did the Boston Polar Plunge a few times. That doesn’t involve heights.
Julie Seagle
What’s that?
Finn Is God
Boston crazies put on swimsuits and plunge into the Atlantic Ocean on New Year’s Day. Rather quick swim due to frigidly cold/awful water.
Finn Is God
News crews love this story.
Julie Seagle
*groan* Yeah, this sounds really fun. Unfortunately I won’t be in Boston for this event, otherwise I’d totally do it.
Finn Is God
Liar! You would not! But it’s awesome. Sucks going in, but great on the way out. A shock to the system in a good way.
Finn Is God
Would go this year but will be in sunny Puerto Rico. Leading a white water rafting tour. (And bungee jumping, of course.)
Julie Seagle
Boo hoo. That sounds miserable. Poor you.
Finn Is God
I know. Rough.
Julie Seagle
Pit stop in Boston before you go? Celeste is dying to see you.
Finn Is God
I could work on a pit stop.
Julie Seagle
Oh, and could we talk about Celeste for a minute?
Julie waited. And waited. It looked as if he was going to be as difficult about his sister as Matt was.
Julie Seagle
So, Celeste…Tell me why she made Flat Finn.
Finn Is God
Don’t know. She needs Flat Finn’s good looks to counteract Matt’s lack of?
Julie Seagle
Nice try.
Again Julie waited. She stared at the clock on her computer, watching as six endless minutes ticked by.
Finn Is God
I can’t tell you.
Julie Seagle
Why? She needs help, Finn.
Finn Is God
You’re the best thing for her.
Julie Seagle
How do you know that? I don’t know what I’m doing.
Finn Is God
You’re doing great. She’s happy.
Julie Seagle
She’s not happy. She can’t be. She needs you.
Finn Is God
This is more complicated than I can explain.
Finn Is God
You’ll have to trust me on this. I can’t say anything else. I need you to drop this. OK?
What the hell? Julie stared at the chat window. Things suddenly felt weird with Finn, and that was the last thing she wanted.
Finn Is God
Please don’t be mad. I just can’t. I’m sorry.
Julie Seagle
OK.
Finn Is God
So…is Celeste the only one who wants to see me?
Julie Seagle
Your whole family does.
Finn Is God
Only my whole family?
Julie Seagle
Girlfriend back home who is missing you like crazy?
Finn Is God
Maybe.
Julie paused. She hadn’t really thought about this possibility before, but for some reason she didn’t really like the idea that Finn might have a girlfriend. Not that it was any of her business. It wasn’t as if she had any right to be jealous.
Except that she was.
There is nothing more unpleasant than the overwhelming effect caused by jealousy, and she couldn’t deny that typing out the word girlfriend had made her stomach knot up, her breathing change, and her brain swirl. This was not the reaction she would have expected. She didn’t even know Finn.
Well, she couldn’t suddenly go chat silent now. It would look weird. She held her hands over the keyboard, desperately trying to figure out something normal to say. How nice for you. I’m sure she’s lovely. No, that would sound obnoxious. Crap. Who was this girlfriend? Neither Matt nor Celeste had ever mentioned anything about her. She’s a curvy Victoria’s Secret model with the intellect of a geneticist and the strength of spirit to go cliff-diving, I assume? No. That was both obnoxious and passive-aggressive.
Finn Is God
But no girlfriend. So just my crazy family that wants me to come visit, I guess. I’ll confess disappointment.
Julie couldn’t help smiling.
Julie Seagle
Would not complain if you came to visit. Must meet the world-traveling, thrill-seeking, adventure-loving idol.
Finn Is God
In that case, I’ll do my best to make it happen. Don’t tell anyone yet, though, until I’m sure.
Julie Seagle
OK. Fair enough.
Finn Is God
I should go…Dinner soon.
Julie Seagle
And I should get to bed.
Finn Is God
Nice! What are you wearing?
Finn Is God
Sorry. Forgot I already tried that one…
Julie Seagle
Impressed with your persistence.
Finn Is God
Ta da! I impressed you. Success! You’ve totally made my night.
Julie Seagle
And you’ve made mine.
Finn Is God
Enjoy the rest of break. Really. You’re lucky to have your mom.
Julie Seagle
Will consider it.
The sound of the train woke Julie in the middle of the night. After sleeping noise-free for nearly three months in the Watkinses’ quiet Cambridge neighborhood, she couldn’t sleep through the roaring train sound anymore. She threw the covers off and got up. She’d been having a dream that she knew involved pancakes and ski jumping. She couldn’t remember the rest. But whatever it’d been about had left her soaked in sweat and hungry. Bleary-eyed, she stumbled down the stairs in her sweatpants and T-shirt and made the familiar walk to the kitchen.
“Hey, Jules.” Her mother smiled warmly at her. She was standing at the kitchen island, surrounded by every leftover dish from Thanksgiving. “Hungry?”
Julie nodded and took a seat on a stool.
“Milk?” her mom asked.
Julie nodded again. “What are you doing up?”
“Raiding the fridge.” Kate poured a glass for Julie. “How can I sleep knowing there is all this good food just sitting down here? What about you, kiddo? Thought you’d be zonked out from working so hard.”
Julie shrugged. “The train woke me.”
“Hmm, that hasn’t bothered you in years.” Kate tousled Julie’s hair lightly. “Things are different now, huh? Well, dig in. I’ll heat up a plate for you. White meat or dark? Gravy? Potatoes? Green beans?”
“Everything. I need a heaping plate of everything.” Julie put her elbow on the counter and dropped her head into her hand. “And I need a pilgrim hat in order to properly enjoy the flavor.”
Kate clapped her hands together happily. “I knew it! I knew you’d miss the hat! I happen to have yours right here.” She reached behind her and grabbed the black hat from the cluttered kitchen desk, setting it on Julie’s head with a satisfied look. “It really suits you.”
Julie cracked a smile. “I think so.”
“So…,” Kate said slowly, “have you heard from your father?”
“He sent me the itinerary for our trip. I can’t wait. Thanks for letting me go. It’ll be fun, don’t you think?”
“Mmmm,” her mother agreed. “I hope so.”
“What do you mean you hope so? Of course it’ll be fun. I can’t believe Dad got so much time off to be with me.”
“Julie, you do know he’ll probably be doing some work during this trip,” Kate said gently. “The hotel he works for has locations all over California.”
“Oh. Well, that’s fine. I mean, we’ll still be together, and that’s what counts.”
“I just don’t want you to be disappointed. Your father has never been—”
“It’s going to be awesome. Just wait.” Julie beamed. This trip really was going to be amazing. She’d never been to California, and she’d never traveled with her father. Their visits were mostly confined to dinners when he was in town, so this was going to be different. “He’s really trying. He’s prioritizing. What about you? Are you excited for your cruise?” Kate’s best friend, Suzanne, was treating Kate to a fourteen-day holiday cruise in the Caribbean.
“Assuming I don’t get seasick, I think it’ll be lovely. I couldn’t bear to hang around the house over the holidays without you. I’m going to miss you, kiddo. Our first Christmas apart.”
“Mom, don’t cry! I’ll miss you too. It’s so hard for Dad to find time to see me, and I can’t pass this up.”
Kate patted her eyes with her napkin and took a huge bite of turkey. “So things are good, living at the Watkinses’ house?” her mom asked through a mouthful of food.
“Yeah. I really like them.”
“And it’s still going well with Celeste? Isn’t she kind of old for a babysitter? What’s that about?”
“I’m not really a babysitter. More of a…” Julie struggled to find the right word. “A companion.”
Kate looked confused. “A companion? What does that mean?”
“Celeste is a little quirky.” That was putting it mildly, but Julie hadn’t told her mother about Flat Finn. She couldn’t think of a way to explain him without making Celeste out to be a complete nut case. “I really like her, but she has a hard time with friends. She acts a lot younger than she is.”
“So you’re less of a companion and more of a role model.”
“Huh. I hadn’t thought of it like that, but yeah. I guess so.”
“She’s lucky to have you,” Kate said.
Julie shook her head. “I’m lucky to have her.”