What If

She went to work undoing both the button and zipper then sliding her hand inside. She found my hard dick and wrapped her tiny hand around it. Fuck. She freed me from my boxer briefs by pushing the waist of them down and pulling my dick over them. Her hand moved up and down slowly, she watched her hand making the movement which only served to turn me on further. The tip of my dick was covered in pre-come in no time. I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the smoothness of her palm. But while my eyes were closed, I felt the wet tip of her tongue flick against the head of my cock. My eyes flew open and hips jerked from surprise.

“Briar,” I groaned, full of lust.

I leaned back. I should’ve stopped her; this wasn’t just a step too far, this was a leap! Yet I couldn’t. Her scarlet lips wrapped around me and being the selfish man that I was, I rested against my seat and watched her mouth suck me off. Her hair fell in waves around her, hiding the way I slid deeper into her. I picked her hair up and held it in a messy knot at the back of her head. Her right hand wrapped in a fist around the base of my dick and moved with her mouth in a fast pace motion. I didn’t assist her movement, because the way she was going at my cock was going to have me spilling into her mouth in no time.

My balls drew tight, painfully tight, and my dick swelled slightly larger.

“I’m going to come,” I said quickly.

Fuck me. She quickened her pace for three more pumps; I came in her mouth as she slowed her tempo, swallowing each drop.

Her mouth left a red mess of gloss around my sensitive skin. Not wanting to wipe off the evidence of Briar’s head being in my lap, I tucked my dick into my pants without cleaning off. She sat back and smiled shyly at me.

“Where have you been all my life,” I tried joking but was so out of breath it sounded ragged.

“Where you left me… Greenville.” She tried to sound carefree, but I sensed a deep ache that matched my own about our missed time together. The silence between us grew, the heavy breaths calming into light gasps of air. “What are we doing?” Briar questioned in a raspy voice.

I looked over at her. Her eyes were closed and one hand was clenching the bottom of her skirt.

“I think we were getting each other off,” I answered lightly.

“No really…” she said more seriously.

“Look at me, Briar.” She peeled open her eyes and looked at me. I took her face in my hands and kissed her top lip then her bottom. I leaned my forehead against hers and kept my gaze on her. “I think we’re playing catch up on all the things that should have happened years ago.”

She smiled weakly, but I continued. “It should’ve always been you and me. Never Darcy. Never Lacey. No one else. You and me.



We arrived late to the concert. The band played decently, not great, but the company was good enough that I could’ve been at a Nora Jones concert and would’ve enjoyed it. Every time Briar took a pull from her beer I saw the bottle as my dick and grew hard all over again. Her hair had a wild look to it, slightly messy from my hand being wrapped up in it. I couldn’t look at her and not see what we did in my truck. I’d be reliving that moment over and over again in my head.



When the night ended with me dropping off Briar, part of me wanted to take her back to my place and see just how far we could make this go tonight. But we weren’t ready for that. That haunted look still hid in the depths of her eyes, and the only way we’d be able to get closer was to find out what exactly put that deep-rooted pain there. I had a sick feeling that it all had to do with me, and that I’d have to fight like hell to get her to open up about it.

But I was a warrior. I fought until the end. And if fighting were the only way I could win this battle between Briar and me, then I’d fight like hell until there was no more fight left to give.





My life felt like a stage five hurricane beginning to brew. Even as I laid in the softness of my off brand new down comforter, I couldn’t begin to calm the nervous warnings going off every few seconds inside of me. I pictured Arrow’s fingers moving inside of me, a feeling I had looked forward to and wanted from the time I was a teen. Just as quickly, I remembered the time Arrow nearly kissed me and then stopped. All those memories, new and old, struggling for attention, begging me to remember them. My mouth around his swollen cock. Seeing him making out with Darcy. The kiss against his truck. The time I walked in on him having sex. Arrow chasing me out of the bar. Him leaving me and marrying Lacey…

If history repeated itself, then wasn’t I just waiting for another blow to my system? In my mind I sat in a house near the ocean, watching the hurricane coming closer and closer to land. It would no doubt cause destruction to my home and everything around me, yet I sat there… doing nothing to prevent myself from being injured.

Did I learn nothing from my past? Had I not been through enough with Arrow to predict exactly how this would end? It was simple. Arrow and I would play this cat and mouse game.

I felt like I had already caught him. I felt like he belonged to me, and that I was his. But that’s not really how it works is it? Just because I wanted something didn’t mean I’d have it. If that were the case, Arrow would have been mine long ago. Instead, Arrow was a sly beast. He never meant to hurt me, no; a natural disaster is never intentionally ruining the lives of the people in its path. But Arrow worked his way into every miniscule atom of my body, and right when I started to get comfortable, started to believe everything would work out, those atoms would explode.

It happened every single time. Arrow always chose someone over me. Always. First Darcy, then Lacey. The first one wounded me, but the second one demolished me.

You can’t sit in the path of a deadly storm coming your way and expect to make it out unscathed.

Physically, I felt ill. My muscles felt used up and weak. It was a mistake to allow Arrow into my life so easily and quickly. Loving him was a disease; the single most painful thing I could do. Yet I did it anyway.

I had difficulty falling asleep when I knew each day was going to be hard for a long while. I had to pull away from Arrow before he destroyed me. It was only a matter of time before I lost him again. Guilt sat on my chest knowing how confused Arrow would be by my sudden change. My lack of phone calls and texts would seem strange and distant. He’d wonder what he did wrong, if we went too far, if I lost my mind. Answering those questions wouldn’t be simple. He didn’t do anything wrong, but I knew he would move on to someone different than me.

We did go too far. Yes, I wanted him badly, so badly that I couldn’t keep myself from touching him and letting him touch me, but it was another knife to my heart, another perfect memory of Arrow that would eventually be the cause of tears when he found someone else.

Have I lost my mind? He would think so. Eventually, he’d be grateful that I ended us before he could.

My last thought as my eyes closed was that sometimes love wasn’t enough. Sometimes the massive earthquake of your past was so harmful that you could still feel the aftershocks years later. Arrow was my earthquake, my natural disaster. He was beautiful when calm and magnificent when he erupted, but he took me down in his explosive path.



The next few days I stayed busy at school. I kept on working well past class hours. When Arrow called, I rejected it and sent a quick text explaining that I would be incredibly busy with work for the next week.