Translation of Love

Coming home to an empty house last night was strangely disappointing. I mentally chastised myself for wanting Victor to be there. Even though he was long gone by the time I got home, he made sure that he left my house looking spotless, right down to the dirty dishes I had left in the sink the night before. Sleeping alone in my bed again last night, I struggled to fall asleep. Lately it seems as though the only time I’m free from the memories of the past are the times when I’m with Victor. My goal over the last two years was to become self sufficient, to be in total control of my life and to protect myself at all costs, but when I’m with him I find that I lose my will to fight so hard. Does allowing him into my life mean that I have to give up all of those things that I worked so hard for? I’m just not so sure anymore.

Victor called me on my way to work this morning to let me know that he would be stuck in the studio most of the day. This meant that he wouldn’t be able to pick me up but instead was sending Rob to pick me up. I tried to tell him that I could drive myself but he wouldn’t even entertain the idea of me driving by myself in New York City. He promised that he would be at his apartment by the time I got there. This makes me kind of nervous. Just the thought of an hour and a half drive with a strange man, whom I’ve never met, puts me on edge. I sent a text to Jordan to see if she thought I was overreacting, to which she replied.

Yes. You are overreacting as usual. Victor likes you, he’s not gonna send a psycho to come pick you up. Just relax and enjoy your weekend.

Her response calmed me down enough to see that she was right. Victor wouldn’t send someone untrustworthy to pick me up. I put my fears to rest and was able to go home, shower, change into a casual dress, and pack a bag for the weekend. The car pulls up to my house at around six o’ clock and a beast of a man gets out and comes to my door. I open before he has a chance to knock. The sight of him leaves me absolutely speechless. This man is huge. Scary, intimidating, run for your life kind of huge. He has a low cut buzz cut, piercing blue eyes, and a scar just above his thin lips. I start to look down and notice that he has quite possibly the largest neck of anyone I’ve ever seen, broad shoulders and well defined muscles that can be made out underneath his t-shirt and jeans.

“Ms. Brooks? I’m Rob. I’m your ride this evening, ma’am.” His deep voice makes my heart race. Not in a sweet, seductive way, but in an, oh my God he can crush me like a twig, kind of way.

“Hi, Rob. You can call me Elle.”

“Alright, Elle, can I take your bag?” he asks, looking at the paisley weekender bag sitting on the floor in front of me.

“Sure.” He grabs my bag and I follow him to the awaiting car. He opens my door for me, waits for me to get in, then puts my bag in the trunk. He gets into the driver’s seat and takes off. We drive in companionable silence for some time as we head north on the Garden State Parkway. I know that we have well over an hour drive ahead of us, maybe longer if the tunnels into the city are backed up.

“How long have you been working for Victor?” I ask. I might as well make use of this time and get to know him a little, maybe then he won’t intimidate me so much.

“I’ve been guarding him for a little over three years now.”

“Is that common to be with one client that long?”

“Depends. For me, not so much. I’ve been with him the longest.”

“Was that by choice?”

“Yes. We work well together, understand each other. Of all the clients I’ve ever worked for, Victor is by far the most easygoing and the nicest.”

“Good to know.” It makes me happy that he’s a good employer. How he treats the people who work around him says a lot about the type of man he is.

“You’re special to him.”

I look at the rearview mirror and can see Rob’s eyes on me. “Excuse me?”

“In the three years I’ve been with him, he’s been in one relationship. Other than that, he’s never made this kind of effort for any woman. That tells me you’re special.”

I smile, not knowing what to say. I’m special to him? I guess if I really consider the entirety of the last couple of weeks, Victor certainly treats me like I’m something special. He’s caring, kind, thoughtful and romantic. Brian wasn’t the ‘make you feel special’ kind of guy. He was the ‘give you just enough of himself to keep you coming back for more while sucking you dry’ kind of guy. If I took the time to sit down and compare the two, they are night and day. The time I’ve spent with Victor just makes me question my choices in the past even more. Was I that naïve? That stupid that I would let someone into my life who never had my best intentions at heart?

“Would you like to hear the radio?” Rob questions. Breaking my train of thought.

“Do you have anything by Victor? I’ve never actually heard him sing.”

“Sure thing.”

For the rest of the ride, Victor’s voice infiltrates the sound system in the car. I don’t understand a word he’s singing but I still love it. I can feel his emotions as he sings, hear the passion. I understand why he’s so beloved, why someone would stand on line for hours just to get a glimpse of him. His heart comes out in his music and it transcends language.

Rob pulls up in front of a beautiful building in the Tribeca section of the city. He grabs my bag from the trunk and opens my door. “Let’s get you upstairs,” he says, in a no nonsense voice. I follow him up the sidewalk as the doorman lets us in the building. We walk across the stunning lobby and ride the elevator to the top floor penthouse. When the elevator doors open, the smile that greets me melts me to the core.

Victor is waiting for me. I’ve never met someone who could make sweatpants and a plain, white t-shirt look so good. “Hi, Babe.” He grabs my hand, pulls me into his side and kisses my forehead. Rob hands him my bag and stays on the elevator. “I’m gonna go move the car. Call me if you need me.”

Victor nods. “Thanks, man.”

I offer him my thanks. “Bye, Rob. Thank you.”

“Good night, Elle.” He presses the button for the lobby and the doors close.

Victor pulls me into a hug and kisses me, parting my lips with his tongue. His proximity makes me drunk with desire. “Welcome to my place,” he whispers as he pulls away. “I’m happy that you’re here.”

“I’m happy to be here,” I say, and I mean it. I’m coming to realize that I’m just happy in general when he’s around.

Pushing a strand of hair behind my ear, he says. “Sorry I had to send Rob for you. Was that okay?”

“Yeah, it was good. He’s really nice, scary as hell, but nice.”

This makes him chuckle. “He can be a little intimidating, huh? But he’s a good guy. Come on, you want the tour?”

“Yes, this place looks huge.” Victor leads me through a large, open living room accented with hard wood floors, white area rug and plush, brown leather couches. Against the wall is a large entertainment center that houses a massive flat screen TV. Off to the right of the living room is a large bar with four stools that separates the living room and the kitchen.

“This kitchen was renovated not too long ago,” he says, leading me into the gorgeous space. It’s equipped with top-of-the-line stainless steel appliances, including a wine refrigerator, mahogany cabinets, granite countertops and a beautiful, mosaic glass tile backsplash. Adjacent to the kitchen is the dining room, which houses a large rectangular table that would seat around ten people comfortably.

“There’s a half bath through that door, and to your left is my office, which I’ll show you later. Come on, I’ll show you upstairs.” I follow him up a spiral staircase to the top floor. He leads me down the hall to what appears to be a bedroom.

“This is one of my spare bedrooms,” he says, opening the door to a spacious room. A full size bed sits in the center with a matching nightstand and dresser. “That door is the second bedroom. It’s exactly like this one,” he says, pointing to a door across the hall. “I’ll show you my room so we can put your bag down.” The mention of his room makes my heart beat faster. It’s not like I thought we’d be in separate rooms or anything but sharing a bed with him is still new.

Victor’s room is bigger than the other two rooms combined. An inviting king size bed sits in the center of the room, with matching nightstands on either side. “Take a look at this,” he says, opening a door for me to go through. “I know how you girls love your closet space.” My mouth drops as I look around his closet. “Oh. My. God. I might cry.” His closet is my dream come true. Not that I could ever fill it. It’s massive with racks and racks of clothes and shelves of shoes, most of which look unused.

“You’re a nut,” he says, shaking his head at me.

“That was unreal.” As I walk back out to the bedroom, I’m drawn to the floor to ceiling windows. I walk over to them, in awe of the most amazing views of the city and the Hudson River. “Wow. I’ve never seen anything like this.” He comes up behind me, wrapping his hands around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. I melt into him, letting his hold engulf me. “This is the view you wake up to every morning?”

“Most mornings,” he says, placing a kiss on my neck. “What do you think of the rest of this place?”

I turn in his arms so that we’re face to face. “It’s beautiful,” I say. It is an amazing place. I’m sure it costs more money than I’ll ever see in my lifetime, but it doesn’t feel like a home. “I think you need to decorate it more.”

“Yeah, I have to admit I haven’t really gotten into decorating. I’ve been here for years and just haven’t been motivated to do anything to it.”

“It’s still beautiful. Maybe you could paint the walls something other than white. It’ll give it some warmth. Hang some pictures and stuff, make it more homey.”

“That’s the thing. I bought this apartment because it’s convenient. It’s never felt like home to me though. I’m not sure if I’ll keep this place once I retire.” He nuzzles my neck with his nose making me giggle. “I love that sound.”

“Hmm?”

“Your laugh.”

“You like my laugh?” I question.

“I do,” he says, placing a kiss on my lips. “Let’s go back downstairs. This is a dangerous room for us to be in.”

I lick his bottom lip and give him a smirk. “Having self control issues?”

He groans. “Don’t play that game if you’re not ready to finish it.”

Victor laughs, as my eyes go wide. Grabbing my hand, he pulls me out of the bedroom. “Let’s go eat. I brought us some Chinese food.” Hand in hand, we descend the staircase to the main level. He pulls out a chair for me at the bar and I take a seat. “Are chicken and broccoli, fried rice and egg rolls alright with you? I should have called you to see what you wanted.”

“No, that’s great. It’s what I would’ve ordered anyway.” He serves the food and sits down next to me to eat. We eat in silence for most of the meal, just enjoying each other’s company. There’s no need to fill the silence with mindless chatter about the weather or sports. Being with each other is enough right now. It’s the type of silence that occurs when you’re comfortable with the person you’re with. When we finish our meals, I get up and take both of our plates to the sink and start to rinse them off.

“How did it go at work with your program installation?” he asks.

I’m touched that he remembers what I’m working on at my job. He actually listened to me all the times we spoke on the phone and I told him how stressful testing the program was. The fact that he cares enough to ask how it went kind of floors me. “I was able to get all of the glitches out in the testing phase and, thank God, the installation went perfectly.”

“That’s great, Babe. I’m glad you were able to get it all done.”

“Thanks.” It’s hard for me to get excited about anything work related because I really don’t love what I do. It’s just a job to me, it’s not a career. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“How’s it going in the studio?” His eye’s light up at the mention of him in the recording studio.

“It’s going really good. I think we’ve got a couple amazing songs.”

“Oh! Guess what?”

He smiles at the excitement in my voice. “What?”

“Rob played me some of your music on the way up here.”

He smiles huge now. “Really?” I nod my reply. “What did you think?”

“Baby, it was amazing,” I say, wiping my hands on a dishtowel and turning to face him. I lean my back against the counter. “I mean I didn’t understand a f*cking word you were singing but somehow I swear I felt every single emotion you were trying to convey. You have the most beautiful voice.”

His eyes go warm, then heated, and I know that my words have affected him deeply. “I’m glad you liked it,” he says softly. “You want dessert?”

“Not really,” I reply, shaking my head.

“Good.” Victor gets up, comes around the bar to where I’m standing, snatches my hand, and drags me up the stairs to his bedroom in true caveman form. The door closes and suddenly I’m pressed up against it. Victor’s mouth on mine, coaxing my lips open with his tongue to deepen the connection. The taste of him drives me wild. I can feel the heat building throughout me, my body taking over, rendering my brain useless. I know that I couldn’t stop him if I wanted to, his body against mine feels too damn good. He devours me with his kiss, every passing moment weakening my already flimsy defenses. He breaks the kiss, but holds onto my wrists, keeping me pinned against the door. He tilts his head so that his lips are touching my ear and he nips it with his teeth causing me to whimper.

“The last shred of self control that I had is gone, Babe. I want you.” I feel the familiar tingling and butterflies in my stomach as the dampness rushes between my legs. I love the way my body responds to him.

“What happened to taking it slow?” I ask, almost teasingly. I know he’s taken it as slow as he’s capable of and I want him as badly as he wants me. He kisses my forehead and as if he’s read my thoughts replies, “We both know it can’t go any slower. This is mutual.”

He grazes his lips against mine, then unexpectedly releases my wrists and moves away from me, walking across the room and sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands grasping either side of the mattress. “Come here,” he says in a husky voice. I can tell by his tone that it’s not a request, it’s a command. Victor knows he has me exactly where he wants me, under his spell. I do as he asks, cutting the distance between us. I come to a halt directly in front of him. Everything about his posture is predatory. This is about more than just two people who want each other, he intends to possess me. He sits there for what seems like an eternity just staring at me, taking me in with his eyes. He juts his chin up. “Take off your dress, Ellie.” It comes out softly but I know it’s meant to be a test. He knows that if I do what he tells me to, I’m no longer embarrassed or afraid. He’ll know that I’m ready to deepen our connection. I don’t make him wait or wonder. Feeling braver than I have in years, I pull the dress over my head and toss it on the floor, bringing my eyes right back to his.

Victor inhales at the sight of me, covered by only a white, lace bra and matching panties. “You’re so f*cking beautiful,” he says as he stands up. I close my eyes, not wanting him to see my reaction to his comment. The last thing I want to do is ruin the moment with my negative self image. Besides, if I’m being completely honest with myself, when I’m with him, I feel like just maybe I am beautiful. He puts his hands on my hips and turns me around. “Lie down.” His words vibrate through me. It’s another command and I find that suddenly my ability to control the situation isn’t that important to me. It’s easier to let him take control. I know he won’t hurt me and I intend to enjoy this. Tonight, I’m throwing caution to the wind. I need to take what he’s willing to give me and I want it all.

I sit on the edge of the bed and push myself up to the center, lying down, letting Victor know that I’m all in. I watch as he pulls his shirt over his head revealing the well defined muscles of his abs. The sight of him makes my mouth go dry. I want to run my hands all over his chest and stomach but I control the urge to move. I watch as he removes his pants and boxers in one swift motion, throwing them on the growing pile of clothes on the floor. His nakedness causes the butterflies in my stomach to flutter again. He’s beautiful, in every sense of the word.

I feel the bed depress and suddenly I’m caged in, a smile creeps from my lips as I open my eyes and take in Victor’s eyes on mine. “I’ve wanted you from that first day in the bookstore,” he says, bringing his lips to mine, kissing me, tasting me, making me melt into the bed. I moan at the feel of his hands on me, leaving my skin tingling with every touch. He lifts me up slightly, giving himself just enough room to unhook the clasp of my bra. He grabs the straps and removes it, tossing it on the ever growing pile of discarded clothes on the floor, then presses me back down on the bed. Hooking his fingers into the waist of my panties, he pulls them down as well.

The room is dark, but the lights twinkling in from the city illuminate the room just enough so that I can see Victor clearly. I can make out his milk chocolate eyes, as they turn to liquid. He nuzzles my nose, then kisses the tip beginning a slow torture as he trails down my body, leaving kisses until he finds my breast and slowly begins to lick and suck on my nipple. His right hand comes to rest on my neglected breast and begins a slow roll of the nipple between his fingers. I let out a moan of pleasure and buck my hips. “Shhh. Not yet,” he says, letting me know that there’s no rush tonight.

I run my hands through Victor’s hair as he switches his attention to my other breast, beginning the delicious process all over again. “Please,” I whimper, not exactly sure what I’m begging for. There’s a pressure building up inside of me and I know that he’s the only one who can help me release it.

“I know, Baby, I’ll take care of you.” He licks the area between my breasts and starts a slow trail of kisses, on my chest, down to my belly button. He kisses my hips, places his hands just below my knees and spreads my legs. He pauses, taking all of me in, the sight of him makes me close my eyes. “F*cking beautiful,” he says, and then his mouth is on me, his tongue running up and down my folds.

“Victor,” I murmur, bucking my hips up. He places his hands on my hips, securing me onto the bed and continues his slow licking. “Please,” I cry out again as the sensations become more intense. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me, every action is intentional. He begins to pick up the pace, paying special attention to my sensitive *. My whimpers of pleasures turn into louder moans and I inhale sharply as he slides a finger inside of me.

“Oh God.” I grab onto Victor’s hair again, holding on for dear life as the warmth builds in my stomach, expanding throughout my body and I know I’m close. He knows it too and he picks up the pace yet again, then slides a second finger inside of me, sending me over the edge as I come around his mouth. It’s like an explosion coming over me, pulling me apart in tiny pieces, until it subsides and I throw my head back on the bed, and close my eyes unable to move.

Victor moves so that he’s hovering over me again, kissing my forehead and brushing the hair out of my face. “You okay?” I open my eyes and see him smiling at me, instantly I’m ready for more of him.

“I need you,” I whisper. Giving away a piece of me with that confession.

He nods his head. “You’re mine tonight, do you understand that?”

I close my eyes, arch my back and whisper, “Yes.”

“Look at me, Love.” I open my eyes and I know that he is serious. If I let him make love to me, I’m agreeing to be his. “I will not let you go that easily. I know what I want, and it’s you. If you let me do this, you’re mine. Do. You. Understand?”

“Yes,” I agree and feel Victor positioning himself at my entrance, I breathe through the hint of panic that takes hold of me. As scary as the thought of being in a real relationship with him is, I know that it’s what I want. His lips are on mine again, teasing me with his tongue as he eases inside of me little by little, making me gasp. “Baby,” I cry.

“F*ck, Ellie, you’re so tight,” he says, bringing his forehead to rest on mine. He settles himself inside of me and holds still, letting me get used to the size of him. “Are you okay?”

I nod. “I’m okay,” I whisper, bringing my hands to grip Victor’s shoulders and wrapping my legs around his waist, giving him better access. Slowly, he begins to move and I’m blown away at the feel of him inside of me. This is like experiencing heaven from the inside and I cry out in pleasure as he increases his pace. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him, needing him to feel him everywhere, needing the connection. I inhale his familiar scent, it’s part of the whole package that’s driving me wild. I start to move my hips to meet his thrusts, begging him to increase the pace as the warmth starts to fill me again. I break our kiss. “Baby, I’m gonna come,” I cry. He swirls his hips in response, making me nearly lose control.

“Come for me, Ellie,” Victor says, thrusting into me again, a little harder each time. My hands graze his back and I dig my nails into his flesh, crying out as he sends me over the edge, a violent orgasm taking hold of me. I never knew that it could feel like this. I’m overwhelmed by the jolts of electricity coursing like a million tiny fireworks lighting me from the inside. I cling to him as the feelings begin to subside, enjoying the moment as he continues moving inside of me.

“F*ck, Baby,” he says, with one final thrust, spilling into me and then collapsing, giving me most of his weight. “Holy shit. That was amazing,” he whispers, lifting his head to place a gentle kiss on my lips. “Are you okay?”

I smile and nod my response. Victor lifts himself up a bit, pulling out of me. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, not wanting to lose his warmth. “Don’t go.” I place a kiss on his lips, it’s my way of making sure it wasn’t a dream, that he’s actually here with me and that we’ve taken this huge step together.

We stay connected like this for a long time with him snuggling his face into the crook of my neck and me running my fingers up and down his back. It’s a moment that I’m trying to burn into my mind, so that I’ll never forget how I felt tonight. How this one man had the power to make me feel, beautiful, special, and loved all at once. This night is as close to perfection as I’ve ever come, so I commit it to memory and pray that I have the chance to make many more like it. I’m sated, spent, unable to move or speak, just wanting to keep Victor close by. My eyes get heavier with each passing minute, the exhaustion taking over me. Eventually, Victor lifts himself off of me and pulls the covers up over us. He turns me so that we’re facing each other, our limbs entwined. He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “Sleep, Baby, I’m right here.” I melt into his arms, letting sleep consume me little by little as I float on a beam of moonlight.