Chapter Eighteen
Mommy Dearest
I spent the rest of the day in my room with Rachel, dodging calls from Logan. The next morning I left early to go to class, hoping to avoid him. Unfortunately, he was standing in the lobby waiting for me. I slowed as I approached and he grinned at me as he held out a cup of coffee.
“Peace offering? I’m sorry if I acted like a jerk yesterday. I just get so crazy when it comes to that guy.”
I took the coffee from him and started sipping carefully, “You were a jerk.” I started walking toward the door and he followed close behind.
“Yeah I know I was, but I want to make up for it if you’ll let me.”
I stared at the ground as we walked. I felt guilty for being angry with him since he was spot on with his observations about Drake. But how could I tell him that without the entire truth coming out? “I don’t know Logan. Everything is so messed up right now.”
He frowned as he pulled me into a hug, “I know. We haven’t spent any time together lately, and when we do I go and pull this crap. Just let me make it up to you, I promise things will get better between us. I don’t want to lose you Chloe, I love you.”
My heart squeezed painfully as I heard the words I love you come out of his mouth. I couldn’t think of anyone who was less deserving of them.
“Give me a couple days to cool down ok?”
He nodded as we reached my building. “Fair enough. Find me when you’re ready,” he kissed me gently and then walked away, his shoulders slumping.
I turned and walked into the building. My eyes landed on Drake the minute I stepped inside the classroom. My stomach was in knots as I stared at him. He felt the heat of my gaze and turned to look at me. I gave him a small smile before taking a seat a couple rows away from him. He frowned and stood to walk over to me. He sat down in the seat next to me and set his book on the desk. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I mumbled back, feeling uncomfortable.
“So are we back to ignoring each other?” he asked as he stared at me.
“No, just figured it was best to stay away until I get things figured out you know?”
He ran his hands through his hair, looking agitated, “Look, I’m sorry for yesterday with Logan. I shouldn’t have said what I did, but it’s the truth. He has no clue what he’s got with you. He doesn’t appreciate you.”
I instantly came to Logan’s defense, “Like you would? Where would you find the time between all the women you’re with? I’m not stupid Drake, you wouldn’t give all that up for me.”
“Are you serious right now? Of course I would give it up. Have you seen me with anyone lately? I’ve stopped it all, for you. I wish you would take me seriously, but obviously you’ve already decided what you think of me.”
I thought about what he said. I hadn’t seen him with anyone for a while. Even when those women had come to our table Friday he had pushed them away. I thought at the time it was because he was so mad at me, but maybe that wasn’t the case.
“I’m sorry Drake. I’m not being fair to you, but it’s hard to see you as anything different. You’ve been with so many women though, what do you expect? You can’t change overnight.”
“Before you tripped right into my life I would have said the same thing. But there’s something different about you. I don’t know what it is, but it wants to make me change every bad thing about myself.”
I glanced around the room and noticed the professor enter from his office. What could I say to something like that? Drake had me in knots from the moment I laid eyes on him, I couldn’t deny that. Things could have been so different if he hadn’t pushed me away before, we could have been happy right now, instead I was in the biggest mess of my life. All because of him.
“That doesn’t change anything Drake. We’re both so screwed up on our own, but together we’re a whirlwind. Nothing survives that gets in our path.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but the professor started introducing himself at the front of the room, effectively ending our conversation. The rest of class passed in a blur, my mind was so far gone that I couldn’t even begin to tell anyone what we had talked about. Once we were dismissed I grabbed my things and flew out the door hoping Drake wouldn’t approach me. I made it halfway across campus before looking behind me. Drake was behind me, but there were several students between us and he was making no attempt to catch up.
I breathed a sigh of relief as my phone started ringing. Expecting it to be Logan again, I was confused when Blocked Number showed across my phone.
“Hello?” I answered cautiously. There was no reply so I spoke again. “Is anyone there? This isn’t funny.” I could hear breathing on the other end of the line but still no one spoke. “Fine, whatever. Be a creep.”
I started to pull the phone away from my ear to hang up, but I stopped as I heard a voice on the other side that made my blood run cold.
“Chloe? Is that you?”
I stepped off the path and leaned against a tree as I listened to my mother’s voice.
“Mom?” I felt someone come up next to me, but I ignored them as I waited for her to speak.
“Yeah it’s me. You’re a hard person to find.”
“What do you want? I told you the last time I saw you to stay away from me.” I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Drake watching me with concern.
“Oh stop being a spoiled brat. Spending all that time in that nice house with the rich doctor and lawyer spoiled you. Made you think you’re better than you are. You’re nothing more than the trash you always were Chloe.”
My heart stopped as I listened to her speak to me as she always had, like I was beneath her. “You can’t talk to me that way anymore. Tell me what you want or I’m hanging up.”
She gave a high pitched laugh, “I’m your mother, whether I want to be or not, so I’ll talk to you however I want. Now, where are you? We have some things to discuss.”
I shook my head back and forth viciously, even though she couldn’t see me. “I’m not telling you where I’m at. Leave me alone!”
“I found your number didn’t I? It’s only a matter of time before I figure out where you are. I need your help with something.”
My knees started trembling as she spoke and Drake wrapped his arm around me to help support my weight. He grabbed the phone out of my hand before I could react and started yelling at my mother, “Who the f*ck is this?”
His eyes took on a coldness as he listened to her talk. “No, you listen to me you bitch, you leave Chloe alone. I mean it, you come after her and you’ll have to go through me. Don’t call again.” He hung up on her while she was in the middle of a rant and threw the phone in his pocket. It started ringing again almost instantly, but he ignored as he pulled me tighter against him.
“Wow, she was pleasant. Glad you didn’t get your personality from her.”
I gave a small laugh as my mind raced over what she said. She needed my help with something, but I had no clue as to what she was talking about. I had nothing to give her, not that I would even if I did.
“I don’t know why she’s so determined to get to me now. I spent most of my childhood trying to stay out of her way, hiding from her, and now I’m back to doing the exact same thing. I’m terrified of her Drake. Terrified.”
He hugged me tight before pulling back, “You don’t have to be afraid of her anymore. I’m here and I’m not letting her get anywhere near you.”
“Drake if she wants to find me, she will. No one will stop her, especially if she’s still on drugs. You have no idea what they do to her. She’s mean when she’s sober, but under the influence she’d kill me as soon as she’d look at me,” I pulled back and held out my hand for the phone in his pocket, “Can I have my phone back?”
He shook his head, “Not a chance, you’ll answer if she calls again and I’m not letting you deal with that.”
I gave him a pleading look. I had to call Logan, I needed him right now. He was always there when my mother went crazy. “Please. I need to call Logan. He always takes care of me when she’s around.”
His eyes turned cold as he pulled the phone out of his pocket and slapped it into my hand. “Of course, I forgot about pretty boy.”
“Drake it’s not that. It’s just that he’s been through this with her before. He always knows what to do. How to protect me.”
His gaze turned murderous, “And I don’t? I could help you Chloe, if you’d let me. Instead you go running back to him. Just forget about it ok? I’m second best and always will be. I’m out of here.” He turned and stormed away, his body tight with anger. I called his name over and over but he never turned to look at me.
Passing students watched me curiously as I slid down the tree and slumped to the ground. I wrapped my arms around my knees and cried. Cried harder than I had in a long time. Sure, this mess with Logan and Drake was horrible, but my mother was a whole other ball game. I had no idea what she wanted, but she wouldn’t stop until she had it. She was dangerous and I would have to keep my guard up at all times.
I tried to control my tears as I dialed Logan’s number. He answered almost instantly. “Chloe! I was hoping you’d call me. I’ve been driving myself nuts worrying about us.”
I started sobbing louder at the sound of his voice and he stopped talking.
“Chloe, what’s wrong?”
“It’s my mom. She just called me, I’m so scared Logan.”
I heard muffled cursing on the line as I rested me head on my knees. “Shhh, it’s alright. Tell me where you are.”
I told him where to find me and he promised to be there in just a few minutes. I was still crying when he found me and carried me back to his room. He laid me down on the bed and got in beside me, pulling me tight against his chest. I buried my face in his neck as he soothed me.
“It’s alright baby girl. I’ve got you, she won’t get near you.”
“You don’t understand. She always finds me Logan. Why won’t she leave me alone? I just want to be left alone!” I screamed into his chest as I let my anger pour out.
“Chloe, if I could take everything bad she did to you back I would. No one deserves to grow up with what you did. You’re such a good person, nothing like her,” he pushed me back gently and grasped my chin in his hand, pulling my face up so that I was looking into his eyes, “She will never touch you again. I promise you that. I won’t let her. Until we figure this out, I don’t want you answering any of her calls, and I want someone with you at all times. We won’t give her the chance to get to you. Ok?”
I nodded as he pulled my face up to his, kissing me gently. “I love you Chloe. I’d die for you.”
I deepened the kiss, needing to feel his protectiveness, his love. He groaned as he rolled me onto my back and started trailing kisses along my jaw line. My body instantly responded to his touch and I ran my hands under his shirt to his back and pulled him down on top of me. His arousal was apparent through his jeans and I groaned as I pushed myself up closer to him.
“I need you Logan. I need you so much.”
Tears ran down my face as he slid my shirt over my head and gently kneaded my breasts. “I need you too baby girl.”
I knew I was only setting myself up for more heartache, but I couldn’t stop myself as I pulled his shirt off and started working on the button and zipper of his jeans. They sprang open and I pushed my hand inside the tight space, grabbing his shaft and running my hand along it roughly. His body convulsed at my touch. He pulled my hand away long enough to get rid of his jeans and boxers before lying back down on his back. I kissed down his chest and stomach, feeling the muscles quiver underneath my touch.
I ran my tongue over his shaft gently before pulling him into my mouth and sucking. I found a fast hard rhythm as he moaned and thrust his hips up to let me take him deeper. “God Chloe, you’re amazing with your mouth.”
I pulled back, grinning at his words, “Care to return the favor?”
He laughed as he flipped me on my back, “Hell yeah I will!”
He sucked and nibbled on my nipples first, until they were tender and swollen with want before using his tongue to slowly glide down my stomach to my core. I melted into the bed as I felt his tongue flick over my swollen *. He pushed two fingers inside me and I moaned at the sensations that were running through my body. His tongue quickly replaced his fingers and my body jerked up off the bed at the feeling as he tongue f*cked me.
“Logan!” I screamed as I fell apart beneath him. Before I had time to recover, he was inside me thrusting hard and fast. I felt myself building again as I clung to him, my nails leaving marks across his shoulders as he pounded into me. His thrusting became erratic and I felt him shudder as he exploded inside me, taking me with him. He collapsed on top of me as I tried to catch my breath.
“That was so worth waiting all these months for. You’re as incredible as I remember,” he whispered in my ear as he slowly pulled out and collapsed in the bed beside me. He pulled me tight against him and nuzzled my neck, “I’ll always keep you safe. I’ll never let you go, I promise.”
We lay together for several minutes as I let the guilt slowly start to wash over me, realizing the position I had just put myself in. The feeling that I was betraying Drake by sleeping with Logan soaked deep into my skin until I felt like I was drowning in it. I knew that technically I had done nothing wrong, Logan was my boyfriend and this was what was supposed to happen, but my heart told me a different story. It was screaming for Drake and I couldn’t deny it.
The worst part was that it took having sex with Logan again to come to my senses.
I rolled to face Logan, my heart in my throat as I opened my mouth to tell him everything. “Logan can we talk?”
He kissed my nose and smiled before standing, “Yeah, but can it wait? I have to be at work soon.”
I nodded as relief took over my body. I didn’t have to tell him just yet, I could wait. I felt guilty for not pushing the issue, but I couldn’t really lay everything out for him twenty minutes before he had to be at work.
Logan pulled me into a hug before pulling his clothes on, “You working tonight?”
“Yeah until close and the same thing tomorrow. I won’t have a free evening until Wednesday night.”
He grabbed his keys off the stand and turned to smile at me, “Ok, we’ll talk Wednesday then.”