Chapter Seventeen
It Gets Worse
I gently knocked on Drake’s front door, hoping he wouldn’t hear me so I could sneak away claiming I had tried. Unfortunately, the front lights flipped on and the door opened. Drake starred at me with a look of disbelief before his face. He quickly masked it over to a look of indifference. Even with his face void of emotion, seeing him took my breath away. He wore only a pair of faded blue jeans low on his hips and a white t-shirt that looked like it had been painted onto this body. The sight might me shiver with desire.
“Chloe, what a surprise.”
I glanced down at my shoes before looking back up at him, “Yeah, sorry to bother you. I just wanted to drop your jacket off. I was cleaning out my car and found it. I figured you might want it back.”
I held out his jacket and he took it, slowly looking me over as he did so. “Well thanks. Anything else I can help you with tonight? My bed is only a few feet away.”
I felt heat rush up into my cheeks at the suggestion in his words. I had been safe last night with all of our friends around, but now it was just the two of us and the gloves were off. “Well, uh, no. I better go,” I turned and started walking down the path before stopping and spinning around to face him again, “Actually, yes there is something else.”
I stomped my way back up to him, “Can I come in so we can talk? Please Drake, I don’t like things being like this between us.”
“I tried to talk to you before you left. You didn’t seem interested.”
“I know, I was an ass and I’m sorry. But we’ve both got to get over whatever this shit is between us.”
I figured he would close the door in my face, but instead he stepped back, allowing me access into his house. I made my way into the living room and sat down on the couch as he followed silently, sitting in the chair across from me. Great, he couldn’t even to stand to be on the same couch as me.
“Look, I screwed up. I know it, you know it, and your bed knows it. I cheated on Logan, I hurt you, and I just all around f*cked up ok? But I am so sorry, and God Drake, I just miss you. I miss how close we were. I felt we had something special, and I want to get it back. Can you ever forgive me?” I said the words in a rush, hoping to get them all out at once so I wouldn’t have to say them again.
He studied me silently for a minute before speaking, “Sure Chloe, I can forgive you, but first I need to know which part I’m supposed to forgive. The fact you cheated on your boyfriend with me, or the fact that you f*cked me, or the fact that you just ran after said f*cking. Or maybe for the fact you ignored me when I tried to talk to you about all of this. Or…”
I stopped him midsentence, “Ok, I get it Drake. I just miss you. You and I were a mistake, one that I will regret for the rest of my life because I cheated on Logan, and obviously hurt you at the same time whether I realized it or not. I didn’t mean for it to happen, I just want my friend back. I want you back.”
Tears stung my eyes as I poured my heart out to him, but I refused to look away from him. His eyes hardened at my words and he quickly stood and walked over to me.
Kneeling down in front of me, he caught me with a murderous glare, “For someone who misses me so much, you sure seem to regret everything about me. What was I to you Chloe? One of those I’m bored and he’s here f*ck? Or just a typical I’ve had a long day and need to blow off some steam f*ck? Well I’ve got news for you, I don’t regret it at all. Feeling your skin pressed up against mine, being inside you, hearing you cry out, that was one of the best nights of my life until you f*cked it up with all your guilt. I miss you too, but things aren’t going to go back to the way they were Chloe. I’ve felt you, tasted you, and now all I want is more.”
His words stunned me and turned me on all at once, “Drake…”
“No, don’t even say anything Chloe. When you talk everything gets so screwed up. I want you, and I know you want me too.”
I shook my head at his words, “I can’t Drake. I’m with Logan, I won’t hurt him.”
He leaned in until he was inches from my face, “You mean hurt him again, because you already did once, whether he knows it or not. You want me and I want you, don’t even deny it Chloe. You’ve wanted me since the beginning, and I was too damn stubborn and proud to take it when you offered. Please Chloe.”
He leaned in to kiss be but I shoved him away. “I don’t want you Drake! Damn it! Damn it all! I want my friend back.”
I stood and turned for the door but he caught my arm and spun me around to face him. “You want me Chloe, and I’m going to show you just how much.” Before I could respond he pulled me against his chest and was kissing me hard.
His lips pressed against mine roughly, his lip ring cutting into my skin, our teeth hitting together with the force of it. I tried pushed against his chest, fighting him, but his kiss quickly took over. Before I knew what I was doing, I was kissing him back with as much ferocity as he was giving me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer until I felt his hard body everywhere.
He shoved me up against the wall as his hands slipped under my shirt to run his fingers across my stomach, my ribs, until he was cupping my breast through my silk bra, pinching my nipple roughly. He let go of me only long enough to pull my shirt up and over my head. As soon as I was free of my shirt he pressed back up against me and resumed kissing me with so much force and passion I thought I would explode.
My hands ran down his chest and stomach to the bottom of his shirt, and with some tugging, I lifted it from him and threw it across the room. My legs wrapped back around his waist as he lifted me up, and I felt his hardness push up against me. I groaned into his mouth and I felt him smile.
“Do you like that?”
I mumbled something that resembled a yes as his hands moved from my waist to my bra, unhooking it and pulling it down my arms and away from us. Bare chest to bare chest, I felt my nipples rub against him and I moaned again. No one could make me feel passion like this man did, no one could make me feel so alive. I quickly undid the buttons on his jeans and pushed them and his boxers down. I grabbed his hard dick and ran my hand over it fast and hard.
“Oh God Chloe, that feels so good,” he groaned into my mouth as his hand slid under my skirt and pushed my thong to the side. I felt his thumb rub over my * roughly, before thrusting two fingers into me, “Thank God you’re wearing a skirt.”
There was nothing sweet or loving about this, he was being rough with me, and I certainly wasn’t being gentle with him. I moaned and arched my back trying to take his fingers deeper inside of me.
“What do you want Chloe? Tell me what you want and it’s yours,” he whispered into my ear, licking as he went.
“F*ck me Drake, please. F*ck me hard and fast.”
He groaned at my words and positioned me over him before thrusting hard and deep into me. I cried out at the feeling of him inside me as he pushed me up against the wall harder, driving into me over and over, harder every time. His mouth caught first one nipple, then the other in his mouth and sucked and bit until I was moaning over and over.
I felt myself tightening and before I knew it, I went over the edge. I had never been very vocal during sex, but with him I screamed his name over and over as I came. With a few final thrusts I felt him shudder as he cried out at his own release.
He dropped his head onto my shoulder as he stood there trying to catch his breath. “That was amazing Chloe. Seriously.” He slowly pulled out and I instantly felt empty without him. He set me on the ground and stepped back, eyeing me the whole time.
All at once, what we had just done hit me. I had cheated on Logan yet again, without so much as a thought to how this would affect him. I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor and covered my face with my hands. “Oh my God, what have I done?” I sobbed.
Drake kneeled down in front of me, “Look at me.”
I ignored him as I continued to sob.
“Damn it woman, look at me.”
I shook my head, refusing to move my hands from my face. If I didn’t look at him, this wouldn’t be real, but if I looked him in the eye I would have to face this, whatever it was. He gently wrapped his fingers around my wrists and pulled my hands to my sides. “Please don’t cry Chloe. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. This one is all me, I just want you so damn bad and I can’t control myself around you. I care so much about you, why can’t you see that?”
“Why now Drake? Before when I tried, you shoved me away. If you had said yes, I would have been yours. Now we’ve royally screwed everything up yet again. Why did you have to wait until I was with him?” I sobbed.
He let go of my wrists and gently cupping my face and pulling it up until I was looking at him. “Because, before we hadn’t known each other very long and you had just told me everything you had to deal with growing up. I knew I was a royal f*ck up and I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than you had already been hurt. I’ve got my own demons, my own past Chloe, I knew what they would do to you if you knew, but I felt connected to you from the beginning, but I knew if we slept together you would be just another woman to me. I wanted to get to know you better, and I wasn’t about to throw it all away for one night of rolling around in my bed. And I was right about you, we got to know each other and I fell in love with you. That’s what this is to me, I’ve fallen in love with you, and if you would just give me a chance I could prove it to you.”
My heart stopped at his words. He was in love with me? What did that mean for me, for us? I knew I felt something strong for him, but was it love? Was it worth losing Logan for the bad boy in the band? I knew better than to even ask myself that question. Drake had become far more to me than the dangerous, tattooed, and pierced bad boy I had seen in him before. He was someone special to me, and lord help me, I knew I was falling in love with him too.
So where did that leave Logan and our relationship? He had been my best friend most of my life and now so much more to me. Was it possible I could be in love with both of them at the same time, or were my feelings for Logan nothing more than friendship wrapped up in a relationship? Regardless of what I felt, I had to tell Logan what I had done, what a mess I had made of everything.
“I need to get out of here,” I stood and walked across the room to where he had managed to throw my shirt and bra, quickly putting both on and adjusting my skirt.
“Don’t leave Chloe, stay here and talk to me,” he pleaded as I made my way past him.
“I just need time Drake, I have to figure things out. Just give me time.”
He grabbed my wrist as I reached for the front door, “Take all the time you need, just know I’m here and I’m waiting for you. We can make this work, you just have to give me a chance, let me prove that I’m serious about you, about us,” he leaned down and brushed his lips gently over mine, “I love you Chloe.” He released my wrist and stepped back, letting me open the door. I bolted out and down the walk to my car as fast as my legs would carry me.
The next morning I felt like hell. I had drove home the night before and cowered in my bed, crying myself to sleep. As my alarm went off I slowly pulled myself of bed and grabbed my bathroom bag. Luckily, I was one of the first people up, so I had the entire bathroom to myself.
After I had showered and dressed for the day, I grabbed my books I would need for tomorrow and threw them into my bag. Logan sent me a text asking if I wanted to meet him for lunch since he was off today. I still hadn’t seen him since I’d returned and after last night, I debated on crawling back into my bed and never coming out. I quickly shook the thought away, I couldn’t spend the rest of my life hiding from him.
I had made a mistake and I needed to face it. I made my way up to his room a couple hours later and knocked. He opened the door almost instantly, a huge smile on his face.
“Chloe! I missed you!” He pulled me into the room, slamming the door behind me before throwing me on the bed and kissing me senseless.
He finally came up for air and I gasped, trying to catch my breath, “Wow, what a welcome! I missed you too.”
I stared up at him and my stomach started to hurt. How could I be such a slut when I had someone who cared about me as much as Logan did? I should tell him everything right now, clear the air and get it all out, but as I looked at him so happy to see me, I couldn’t do it.
I forced a smile on my face as I sat up on the side of the bed, “So where are we going for lunch?”
He bent down and kissed me gently on the lips, “I thought we could go over to Gold’s. I’m dying for one of their burgers.”
My body tensed and he seemed to notice. “What’s wrong, we don’t have to go there if you want to.”
I knew if I said no, I knew I would have to explain why. “No, it’s fine. I can see if Amber wants to go with us.”
“Sure sounds great. Come on, we can take my car and you can text her on the way there.”
I sent Amber a text asking her to meet us there but she declined, saying she had plans with Adam. I raised my eyebrows at that, but didn’t ask any more questions. I silently cursed as we pulled into the bar’s parking lot and I noticed Drake’s car parked near the door. This should be interesting to say the least. I hoped he wouldn’t bring up last night with Logan around, but with Drake there were no guarantees.
We walked across the parking lot slowly since Logan was walking backwards while he told me a funny story about one of the guys from his work. I glanced up behind him as we reached the door and saw Drake coming out. His eyes sought out mine instantly and I stopped walking. The barely controlled look of rage on his face told me everything I needed to know about how he felt seeing me with Logan.
I couldn’t keep doing this to either of them, and I had to tell Logan what had happened, even though I knew it would break him, and destroy any friendship we had ever had. I had no idea where that would leave me with either of them, but decided to push that particularly painful thought back until the time came as I focused on the fact I had both them here within mere feet of each other.
“So he got out from underneath the car and… whoa!” Logan spun around as he bumped into Drake, “What the….? Oh, sorry Drake, didn’t see you man.” He smiled and slapped Drake on the back. “You leaving?”
Drake’s eyes were still on me as he shook his head, “No, came out for a smoke break. Gotta love the smoking ban in bars.”
Logan nodded, “You at our usual table?”
“Yeah, Jade’s in there too.”
Logan smiled as we made our way around him, “Cool, we’ll see you inside then.” He threw this arm over my shoulder as we walked inside and went to the table. Jade gave me a questioning look as she noticed Logan’s arm around me, but didn’t say anything as we sat down.
“Hey Jade, mind if we join you?”
She gave Logan a genuine smile, “Not at all, we were just working on some new material. I could use a break.”
The waitress came over and took our orders as Drake sat down at the table in the chair next to me. I wanted to beat my head off the table. How was I supposed to sit through lunch with one of them on each side of me? Thankfully, he made no move to talk to me. Instead, he turned to Jade and started showing her something on the piece of paper between them. Logan pulled me closer to him and gave me a kiss on my forehead. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in years. Break really sucked without you.”
“I missed you too, but I’m sure the guys at the shop gave you plenty of entertainment from the story you were telling me earlier.”
He laughed, “Yeah, they’re great. But I’d much rather look at you sweaty and covered in grease than I would them.”
I felt my face start to burn. Drake was sitting close enough to hear what Logan had just said. The waitress appeared with our food and saved me from replying. I dug into my food as I glanced over at the paper Drake was holding. “What’s that?”
He continued to study the paper for a minute before replying, “Working on some new stuff to use for when we tour this summer.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Everything lined up?”
“Yeah, we’ll be on the road until right before school starts back.”
For some reason I felt depressed about him being gone for almost three months. I would probably be going back to Charleston over the summer anyway, so I had no reason to be disappointed. Maybe it was the fact that I was afraid someone in the industry would notice their band and sign them and I would never see him again. The thought of never seeing him again scared me.
“I bet you’re excited to get out of here.”
He stared at me for a moment, searching my eyes for what, I don’t know. “I’m excited to tour, but there are things I will miss here. Things I’d always come back for.”
I glanced down at my plate as Logan snorted, “What could you possibly miss here? Sure it’s nice, but it doesn’t compare to the bigger cities. Besides, we aren’t exactly known for our love of Rock, most people prefer Country around here.”
Drake laughed, “Yeah you’re right. Somehow I feel like we’d be more popular if I played a banjo or a fiddle.”
I grinned, “Hey listen here! Some of us would rather cut our ears off than listen to Country! I’d choose Rock any day.”
Logan shook his head, “I wouldn’t call some of that screaming shit you listen to Rock, more along the lines of headache inducing crap.”
Logan and I had never seen eye to eye on music. While we both enjoyed Rock, my tendency to love Metal while he preferred Country often left us at ends.
“Better than that crap you listen to about cheating and broken hearts!”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. I glanced at Drake to see him studying the music he was working on like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Logan seemed oblivious to my unease. “Whatever. At least you can understand what I listen to.”
I was silent as I finished my burger while Jade defended Metal. “You can understand it! You just have to listen!”
I laughed as they bickered back and forth. They finally gave up and agreed to disagree. We spent the rest of lunch in an uneasy silence with me refusing to look in Drake’s direction. My head snapped up as Jade cursed rather colorfully. She pointed to the doorway and I turned to see Chris approaching our table.
“What?” Logan asked, but before anyone could answer Chris was standing behind me.
“Hey Chloe,” he greeted me as I turned to look at him.
“Hey Chris, how are you?”
“Good. Mind if I join you guys?”
I shook my head, “Um, actually we were just leaving.”
He frowned, “That’s too bad, can I at least get your number this time?”
I glanced over at Logan who was looking more and more pissed off by the minute. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I told you before I had a boyfriend,” I motioned to Logan, “This would be him. Logan this is Chris.”
Chris sized Logan up before smirking, “Well, when you get bored with this guy let me know.” He pulled out a pen and wrote his number on my napkin.
I was shocked at his attitude.,“Chris, that isn’t going to happen.”
He just smiled and turned away. “Whatever you say.”
I turned to look at Logan, but he was glaring at Chris from across the room.
“Who the f*ck was that guy?” he yelled as he looked at me.
“No one. He tried to buy me a beer the other night but Drake ran him off.”
Logan looked to Drake who was watching us with amusement. “Apparently you didn’t do a very good job since he came back.”
Drake’s face clouded over and he sent a glare at Logan, “I didn’t see you jumping in to defend her. Maybe you’re not too worried about defending what you’ve got. Maybe you don’t appreciate it.”
I felt the challenge in his words as the air around us crackled with electricity.
“He never gave me a chance. And don’t ever question my relationship with Chloe. You think I haven’t seen the way you and other guys look at her? I’m just not worried because she’s with me and not you. She chose me. She’s too good of a person to leave me for someone like you.”
“Someone like me? Just what type of person am I Logan?” Drake challenged with a growl.
“You use women. Everyone see it, including Chloe. She wouldn’t waste her time with someone like that. She’s not stupid.”
Drake glanced between the two of us and I was terrified of what was going to come out of his mouth. Logan couldn’t find out like this, not in a bar full of people from someone other than me.
Jade interrupted before Drake could reply, “Both of you guys shut up. This isn’t the time or the place for this bullshit. You’re both important to her, so put the testosterone away before you both screw up.”
I shot her a grateful glance as Logan stood. “You’re right, I’m sorry Jade. Come on Chloe, I need to get out of here before I do something stupid.”
I grabbed my purse and stood, refusing to look at either of them. We walked back out to his car and got in, Logan slamming his door with so much force I was afraid he was going to break the window. “That’s it. I’ve kept quiet about your friendship with that a*shole but not anymore. I don’t want you around him again.”
I instantly bristled at his command. “You don’t control me Logan, I can talk to who I want.”
He slammed his fists into the steering wheel and I jumped. “Damn it Chloe! Can you not see how he looks at you? I just called him out in there, right in front of you and he didn’t deny it. He has feelings for you.”
I threw my purse on the floor and turned to glare at him, “You’re being stupid Logan!”
“No I’m not. Promise me you’ll stop talking to him!”
“I’m not promising you anything! You’re being ridiculous and I refuse to talk to you until you get your shit together! Now take me home!”
“You’re so f*cking impossible Chloe!”
I ignored him as he started the car and peeled out of the lot. We spent the ride home in silence and as soon as he parked that car I was out and running. I didn’t stop until I had slammed my dorm room door behind me. Rachel was on her side of the room unpacking, but stopped what she was doing to stare at me. “Um, hi?”
I growled as I stomped to my bed and sat down.
“What’s wrong with you?”
I growled again, “Logan! He’s such an a*shole. I told him from the beginning he couldn’t control me or who my friends were, but yet here we are.”
I fell back on my bed as Rachel frowned, “Uh oh, lovers quarrel?”
I shot a glare in her direction. “Yeah you could say that.”
My phone started ringing in my pocket and I groaned as I pulled it out. It was Logan of course. I hit ignore and threw it on the bed beside me. It rang again but I ignored it. A few minutes later someone started pounding on the door. I made no move to answer it so Rachel sighed and walked over to open it. She just barely cracked it open but I could see Logan standing there.
“Can I talk to Chloe?”
Rachel glanced over to me but I shook my head no.
“Logan, I don’t think right now is a good time. Let her cool off ok?”
He groaned, “Fine. But tell her I’m sorry ok?”
She nodded before shutting the door in his face.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
She gave me a small smile as she walked back her bed to start grabbing clothes to put away. “You owe me. I feel like I should get a free drink when I come to visit you at work.”
“Done,” I answered instantly and she laughed.
“Well that was easy, maybe I should have thought this out a little better before making my demands.”
“Sorry, you already set your price. No take backs.”
I ducked and laughed as she threw a shoe at me, “Fine, be that way!”