Chapter Fifteen
Escape
The next few weeks passed in a haze. Drake was back to avoiding me at all costs, and I was only speaking to him in the class we shared with Logan so that he wouldn’t become suspicious. I was depressed and hurt over how my life seemed to be spinning out of my control. When Logan asked what was bothering me, I gave him a vague excuse about classes and my job draining me. He didn’t seem completely convinced but he left me alone about it after a while.
Drake stopped sitting with us at lunch and I was relieved until I started seeing him with other women again. Every time I saw him, he was always with a different woman, and I knew just how little I meant to him. I picked up the Friday night shift at work just so I could have a valid excuse as to why I had stopped showing up at Drake’s shows and spent almost all of my free evening immersed in my studies, avoiding everyone as much as possible.
Logan had finally managed to find a job at a local repair shop, doing tune-ups and tire rotations. It meant that we saw each other even less than before and secretly, I was glad. I could barely look at him without the guilt of what I had done eating me alive. I knew I should tell him what had happened, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was well aware of the fact that I was a horrible person, and I felt like I needed to suffer by myself, or maybe I was simply a coward. I knew once I told Logan about Drake there was no going back from all of this and I would not only lose my boyfriend, but my best friend as well and I wasn’t ready to give him up yet, regardless of how selfish that made me.
The only bright spot in all of this mess was the fact that I had spent so much time holed up in my room and the library studying, that when finals came, I knew I had passed every single one of them with flying colors.
Winter break was upon us and I decided to go home with Amber to her parent’s house to spend Christmas. Janet was actually pretty cool about me missing so much work when I asked her for the time off. She explained that with most of the college students leaving, business would slow down and the rest of the employees would be able to handle it with no problem.
The night before we departed, I had all of my things that I was taking with me packed up and loaded into Amber’s car that, as well as the presents I had bought for her and her parents, Dave and Emma. Since Logan had just started his job, he decided to stay here over break to pick up extra hours even though his boss told him it wasn’t necessary. I was slightly disappointed by this, despite the fact that I had been trying to avoid him. It was our first Christmas together as a couple and the first Christmas since I had met him that we wouldn’t be spending together. It seemed like an omen of our future, being together would be what kept us apart.
Since he had to work tonight, we had spent the previous evening together exchanging gifts and saying our goodbyes. I bought him a new video game that he had been eyeing every time we went out for the past month and he bought me a gift card for Amazon so that I could buy more books for my Kindle that Emma had given to me for Christmas last year. After he managed to beat almost half his game in two hours, we spent the rest of the evening cuddled up together before saying our farewells.
I decided to go to bed early since we were leaving at dawn, but after an hour of tossing and turning with sleep nowhere in sight, I got dressed and grabbed my keys. I drove around Morgantown and the surrounding area before finding myself taking the same exit Drake had taken that night that felt like so many years ago now. I passed the hidden road twice before finally spotting it.
I drove for what seemed like hours and began to wonder if I had somehow gotten turned around when I entered the clearing. Parking in the same spot Drake had, I got out and my way to the edge of the bank. I felt that sense of peace I had before as I watched the water gently and churn. I looked around and noticed a small path that led to the water’s edge and made my way down carefully, slipping and sliding as I went.
When I finally reached the water, I sat on a rotting log and took my shoes off, dipping my feet in the water. Winter was fast approaching and the night was cold, the water freezing. I pulled my jacket tighter around me as I let the water dumb my feet and my thoughts. It felt nice to just let everything go for a while, to not have the dark cloud of regret and guilt hovering just over my head like a storm cloud.
The worst part of it was that while I felt regret over hurting Logan, I didn’t feel the regret I should about actually sleeping with Drake. Despite the horrible ending, the night had been one of the best I could remember in my life and despite everything that was happening, I would do it all over again. I shivered as I remembered the way Drake’s body had felt against mine, and desire began pooling at my center.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I stood and pulled my pants legs up. I waded into the frigid water until it was up to my knees, then to my waist, completely soaking the pants I had just rolled up. I took another step just as someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me out. I screamed into the night, slicing through the silence.
“What the f*ck are you doing, trying to get pneumonia?”
I felt my knees give way and I fell to the ground in a heap as I was released. I looked up to see Drake standing above me, looking angry. I tried to stand, but I was shivering too hard and I fell back to the ground. “Whaaa.. What are yoooou doooing here?” I tried to ask as my body convulsed with chills.
He bent down and scooped me up into his arms before carrying me up the hill. He sat me on his still warm hood as he opened his trunk and pulled out a blanket and a bag.
“Jesus Christ Chloe, you’re f*cking freezing,” he growled as he threw the blanket over me and started taking things out of the bag until he found what he was looking for. He grabbed a pair of sweat pants out and handed them to me. “You need to change, put these on.”
“Fiiiiine, but tuuurn arounnnd.”
He rolled his eyes but turned to give me privacy as I slipped off the hood and started fighting with the buttons on my soaked pants. My fingers were numb and I was shaking too hard to make any progress. I sighed as I turned to him, dreading asking him for help. “Can you heeelp meee?”
He turned to me and had my pants off in seconds before helping me into his. They were far too big for me, but I instantly felt warmer. He grabbed me and the blanket and threw us in the front seat of his car before getting in himself and starting it, turning the heat up as high as it would go. I pointed the vents to me and held my hands over them as I felt the warmth start flowing through my body. We sat in silence for several minutes until I was warm enough to function properly.
“Want to tell me what you were doing out there besides trying to freeze yourself to death?”
I stared at my hands but didn’t respond. Now that I could think again, I wanted to be anywhere but in this car with him. Being this close to him was physically painful and my chest began to hurt. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold myself together as I felt him staring at me. I would not fall apart in front of this man, I couldn’t. Besides saving me from my own stupidity, he didn’t care about me and I wasn’t going to let him see how bad I was hurting because of him.
He sighed and I glanced over at him as he ran his hands through his hair, something I had noticed he did when he was agitated or upset, “Are we ever going to talk about this?”
I shook my head as I stared out at the water in front of us.
“Damn it Chloe, f*cking talk to me! Why were you here? Why were you out in the water like that?”
I took a deep breath before turning to him. “I just wanted to find peace. I walked out there because I wanted to be numb, I didn’t want to feel, even just for a little while.”
“You could have found a better way than that to do it. Besides, you shouldn’t be out here alone this late at night, anyone could have stumbled across you and you would have been defenseless against them.”
“I can take care of myself, I have been for a long time.”
“What are you running from Chloe?”
I felt tears slip down my cheeks as I turned to look at him, “You. I’m running from you, and I can’t even escape you here.”
I threw the blanket at him and was out of the car in a flash. I heard him shouting my name as I ran to my car, but I peeled out of the clearing before he could reach me. I’d never find the peace I was looking for, not even here.
Amber and I were on our way back to Charleston before dawn the next morning. I remained quiet the first part of the ride as I thought about last night. Seeing Drake had been a shock to my already fragile heart. I realized that even though I hated him, I still cared about him so much that it hurt. Having my heart out there for him to crush made me feel vulnerable and that vulnerability scared me more than the feelings I had for him.
Amber seemed to blame my quietness on the early morning hours and left me alone as the miles slipped away in silence. We stopped at the half way point to grab something to eat, use the restroom, and fill the car back up with gas. My mood was greatly improved when we went to the restroom. Amber refused to ever sit on any public toilet seat, especially one as disgusting as this one was. The walls were covered with stains that I didn’t even want to contemplate and the stalls were covered in more graffiti than a train car.
She was in the stall beside me holding onto the walls like a monkey when I heard a commotion followed by a splash and a few choice words. I stifled my laughter as the curses continued.
“Do I even want to know?”
“Shut up! I just fell in this God awful bacteria infested toilet! I think I’m going to vomit!”
I couldn’t contain my laughter as she came out of the stall, the back of her T-shirt soaking wet. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I bent over clutching my stomach. “Oh my God Amber, I’m dying right now. I. Can’t. Breathe!” I managed to gasp out between fits of laughter.
Amber shot me a death glare as she washed her hands and walked back to the car. She pulled a shirt out of one her bags in the backseat cursing as she went. She took her shirt off right in the parking lot and threw the clean one on.
“I need a shower pronto.”
I was still chuckling as we made our way up the entrance ramp and into the congested traffic. I pulled one of my favorite CD’s out and threw it into the stereo. We spent the rest of the drive head banging and singing off key.
Emma ran out to meet us as soon as we pulled into the driveway, Dave right behind her. She grabbed us as soon as we were out of the car and pulled us into a rib crushing hug. “My babies!”
I laughed as I pulled away and rubbed my now tender ribs. “I missed you too Em.”
She kissed my cheek as Dave started grabbing our bags and taking them into the house. I grabbed a few to help him and made my way up the sidewalk to the massive house. Although I had pretty much lived here during my high school years, I was still dazzled by the size and beauty of their home.
It was a two story colonial red brick home with white windows and trimmings. Two large white pillars sat in front to support the roof of the massive porch that had several hanging baskets of flowers spaced across it. The yard and flower garden in front were well tended. Around the back of the house, I knew there was a full tennis court and an in ground pool that took up most of the space.
Emma was an emergency physician at the local hospital while Dave ran his own law firm. Needless to say they were rolling in the dough, but for all the grandeur of their home, I had never met two people who were more down to Earth. I stepped into the spacious marble floored foyer and glanced around to see if anything had changed. Everything remained the same, except for a few pictures hanging on the wall that Amber had sent home of us at college. My heart clenched at the one of me standing between Drake and Logan at the bar one night, all of us smiling and happy.
To my left was the kitchen, where Emma was making sandwiches for us. It was bright and cheery, designed with beautiful pastel colors and white tiled floors, the appliances all black and state of the art. The dining room opened up across from it. A polished oak table sat directly in the center of the room, large enough to sit ten guests.
To my right was the living room. The leather couch sat against the far wall, facing a massive seventy-two inch television and an impressive sound system. There were several chairs spaced throughout the rest of the room, all matching the couch. Directly in front of me was the staircase leading up to our rooms.
I sat my bags down by the door as Amber walked in and we made a mad rush for the sandwiches Emma was holding out to us. We sat and all but inhaled our sandwiches as Emma smiled at us and yelled for us to slow down. After draining the glass of water she handed me, I grabbed my bags and lugged them up the stairs to my room. I spent the next half hour unpacking everything before stretching across the bed to relax. My eyelids fluttered shut and I slept.
I woke to the feel of someone gently rubbing my hip as soft lips made butterfly kisses down my neck. I opened my eyes and sat up to see Drake standing above me with a sexy smirk on his full lips. I glanced around the room and confirmed that I was still at Emma and Dave’s house before turning my attention back to him. “Drake? What are you doing here?”
He pressed a finger over my lips as he bent down and started nibbling on my ear, “Shhhh. That’s not important. I’m here, that’s what matters.”
I fell against the pillow as he moved onto the bed and straddled me. His mouth took mine in a hungry kiss and I felt myself already growing wet. I ran my hands down his back and realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt. My nails ran across his naked flesh as he pulled my shirt and bra off, and started kissing a trail down my neck, to my collar bone, and finally to my breasts. He ran his tongue around the outside of my nipples, but never actually touching them. This drove me mad with desire and I tried shoving his head down.
He chuckled as he pulled back slightly, “No need to be so impatient, we have all night.”
I moaned as he suddenly sucked my nipple into his mouth and started nibbling on it, “That feels so good.”
My hands went to his head and I ran my fingers through his soft hair as he switched and started giving my other breast the same attention. He released it with a pop and started kissing down my stomach to the top of my jeans. He undid the snaps and ran his tongue underneath of them, making me shudder in delight before pulling them down my hips and off of me. His shorts quickly joined them in the growing pill of clothes on the floor.
I groaned as I felt a finger, then two, slip inside my heat. He began pushing them in and out in a fast rhythm as his thumb found my * and started making slow circles around it. My breath turned to gasps as he finger f*cked me and I felt myself go crashing over the edge, calling out his name. My breathing was still ragged when I came down from my high and I smiled at him. “You’re so good with your hands, and not just with a guitar.”
He laughed as he started kissing up my body. “And you’re always so responsive, you have no idea what a turn on that is.”
I smiled as I rolled him onto his back and began running my hands across his stomach and chest. I felt him shudder when I gently tugged on his nipple rings. “Does that feel good?”
“You have no idea.”
I grinned as I bent down and ran my tongue up the hard ridges of his stomach to his nipple and began making small circles around it before flicking it with my tongue. I turned my attention to the other one as I ran my fingertips down his stomach to grip him. I began stroking him gently and he groaned. “Suck me.”
I shook my head as I continued to stroke him.,“Not until you ask nicely.” I gripped him harder and his body arched off the bed.
“Chloe, you don’t want to test me.”
I leaned down and swiped my tongue across the head, “You don’t want to test me. Now, ask nicely.”
He groaned, this time in aggravation before speaking. “Chloe will you please suck me?” His tone was sarcastic but I obliged, sliding my mouth slowly over him until the tip was touching the back of my throat.
I pulled back and looked at him, “Is that you wanted?”
He growled in response and I smiled as I took him back in my mouth and starting sucking gently. I ran my tongue over his piercing and he grabbed my hair to pull me back.
“Change of plans. Get on me before I lose it.”
I climbed on top of him before slowing sinking down onto him. I sat up and started working my way up and down slowly, driving both of us mad.
“Faster Chloe.”
I refused, not wanting this to end too quickly. He growled again before flipping us over so that I was underneath him, with him still inside me. He began thrusting hard and fast, so hard that the bed started knocking against the wall.
“Oh yes, God yes!” I yelled as he rammed into me over and over. The knocking sound changed and I realized someone was at the door. “Drake, someone…”
“Don’t worry about it.”
I glanced back at the door as it swung open, Logan standing there staring at us with a look of horror on his face, “Chloe! How could you?”
I sat up gasping and stared around the room. It had only been a dream, but a very real one. I still felt the throbbing between my legs as I realized the knocking at the door hadn’t stopped and I yelled for whoever it was to come in while I tried to get my body under control. The door opened and Emma peeked her head in. “Sorry if I woke you, but dinner is ready.”
“No problem, how long have I been asleep?”
“Most of the afternoon. We didn’t want to bug you, you girls had a long drive.” She closed the door and walked across the room to sit at the foot of the bed. “Chloe, there’s something we need to talk about. I didn’t want to say anything in front of Amber and scare her, but you need to know.”
My heart started beating faster as I watched her play with a string on the quilt. “What’s wrong? Are you and Dave ok?”
“No honey, it’s nothing like that. It’s about your mother. She came here a couple weeks ago looking for you.”
My eyes widened. My mother had never come here before and I wasn’t even sure how she knew where Amber’s parents lived. “What did she want?”
She shook her head, lost in thought. “I don’t know, she wouldn’t tell us anything. Only demanded to speak with you and when we told her you weren’t here she tried to get us to tell her where you were at.”
“You didn’t tell her did you?”
“No, I told her I hadn’t seen you in months and I wasn’t sure where you were at. Which was true, I had no idea exactly where you were at that moment in time.”
She gave me a devious smile as she spoke and I laughed, “You’re the best Emma!”
She chuckled before clearing her throat to speak again, “I’m pretty sure she was on drugs Chloe, she was so aggressive and confrontational. She thought we were lying to her about you being here and tried to force her way into the house. Luckily Dave was here too so we managed to keep her out. She finally left after we threatened to call the police. I don’t know what she wants from you, but she’s determined to find you. I’m scared for you.”
I scooted down to sit next to her and pulled her into a tight hug, “Don’t worry about me. The chances of her finding me almost six hours away are slim to none. Besides, I have nothing to give her if she did.”
She nodded as I pulled away, “Just be careful honey. You might not realize it, but I consider you my daughter too. Dave and I even discussed trying to adopt you before, but we didn’t want to bring her back here to you.”
I felt tears sting my eyes at her words, “Thank you for everything you have ever done for me. As far as I’m concerned, you’re my mother and I love you.”
We sat together, sharing both happy and sad tears together for a few minutes before Emma wiped her tears away and gave me a watery smile. “So what have you been up to? I’ve barely heard from you since you started WVU! Amber told me you and Logan are finally together. I have to say, it took you long enough.”
I glanced up at her, “You knew?”
“Of course I did, anyone with eyes could see the way that boy looked at you. Well, everyone but you it seems.”
I gave her a weak smile, “I’m always the last to know.”
“You’ve always lived in your own head. I’m surprised he didn’t have to get a flashing neon sign and hold it in front of you.”
I chuckled, “That would have helped.”
We sat in silence for a moment before she bumped my shoulder with hers. “So, tell me all about it. How are you two doing together?”
I shrugged, “We’re ok I guess.”
She raised her eyebrows, “Uh oh, just ok?”
I started playing with the same string she had earlier, “No, we’re great.”
“Chloe, you know you can tell me anything right?”
I looked up at her and choked on the lies I was about to spew. This woman loved me, I could see it shining in her eyes now that I knew to look for it. I couldn’t tell Amber my problems because she was friends with both of us and that would put her directly in the middle of us. If she told him she’d betray me, and if she didn’t she’d betray him and I wouldn’t put her in that position.
But could I tell Emma without her passing it on, even by accident? I had to tell someone, this was eating me alive and I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t handle being the only one who knew.
“I did something really stupid. I’m a horrible person and I don’t deserve Logan. He’s such a great guy and I’m nothing more than trash.”
She placed her hand on my shoulders and starting rubbing circles gently, “It can’t be that bad honey.”
I shook my head, “It is Emma, I don’t know how I can live with myself. I cheated on him, I cheated on the most amazing friend I’ve ever had.”
Her hand stilled on my shoulder and I waited for her to start yelling at me. I deserved nothing less.
“Oh Chloe, what happened?”
“His name’s Drake and I fell for him the minute I saw him. He’s gorgeous and even though he has a rough exterior, he has the biggest heart I’ve ever known. Or at least I thought he did.”
She listened as I poured my heart out and told her everything that happened since I met Drake, asking questions from time to time. When I finished, I had tears streaming down my face again as she pulled me into a tight hug.
“You’ve really made a mess out of everything haven’t you?”
I nodded as I buried my head in her neck.
“I know you’re going to hate me for saying this, but you really do need to tell Logan. Yes, you might lose him but you can’t keep living like this. And from what you’ve told me about Drake, I can’t say that I agree with your opinion on his feelings. He obviously has issues since he goes through so many women, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t hurting too. You have to talk to both of them before this spins even more out of control.”
I nodded as I pulled back, “I know. And thank you for listening to my sob story, but please don’t say anything to Amber. I don’t want her in the middle of this.”
She nodded, “Your secret is safe with me. Now go wash up so we can eat dinner. Dave and Amber are waiting for us.”
She stood and left the room, leaving me with my thoughts. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder by telling her. I knew she was right, I had to tell Logan but I didn’t know how. I couldn’t just walk up to him and say, “Oh by the way, I slept with Drake. It didn’t mean anything to him but it broke my heart. Just thought you should know.” Yeah, that would go over real well.
I went to the guest bathroom and washed up, scrubbing my face as well to try to hide the evidence of my tears. By the time I made my way downstairs, everyone was already at the table. I sat down beside Amber and she looked over at me with a worried expression.
“You ok? You look like you’ve been crying?”
“I’m fine, it must be where I just woke up.”
We spent the rest of dinner catching up on each other’s lives. I pushed the conversation with Emma away as I sat and laughed with Amber’s family. With my family. Maybe I wasn’t quite as alone as I had always thought.