His kindness was the thing that broke me and tears began to slide down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry, Caro,” he said softly, his voice aching with sadness. “Don’t cry, baby.”
He repositioned one arm under my knees and gently lifted me up. I whimpered once from the pain, then bit my lip to stifle any more sounds.
Slowly and carefully, he carried me up the stairs and laid me down on my bed, placing his body alongside mine.
We lay together as I sobbed quietly. We didn’t speak.
When my tears finally dried, he kissed me on the cheek.
“Come on, let’s get you undressed.”
His hands rose to my waistband but I pushed them roughly away.
“No, don’t!”
He looked hurt. “I wasn’t going to do anything, Caro. You’re exhausted. You need to get some rest. Come on, let me help you.”
I tried to push him away, but my body felt like I weighed a thousand pounds, and he’d pulled up the hem of my skirt before I could stop him.
I heard his gasp and then he swore.
“What the fuck, Caro? What happened? Did… did he…?”
“It was an accident,” I said tiredly. “He didn’t mean to.”
Sebastian was furious, as I knew he would be. I could see cords of tension on his neck, his eyes were blazing with fury.
“That asshole!”
He bounced off the bed and balled his fists as if he wanted to hit something – or someone. He was trying to rein in his temper, but he wasn’t having much luck with that. Then he saw my face, fresh tears breaking out.
“Shit, I should take you to a doctor!”
I shook my head slowly. “I’m okay. They’re just… mild burns… from the pasta sauce. I’m okay.”
“You should fucking report this! You can’t let him get away with doing this to you!”
“It was an accident,” I repeated quietly. “Please, Sebastian, just drop it.”
“Drop it?!” he shouted. “Look what that sack of shit has done to you! Fuck, Caro!”
I put my hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes tight shut, trying to stop the new tears from leaking out. His rant stopped in midstream.
“Oh God, Caro.”
I felt the mattress tremble and he lay back down on the bed and hugged me to him. That was all I needed: his arms around me.
After a long while it was Sebastian who broke the silence.
“What do you want to do?”
His voice was soft, unnamed emotions making his tone raw.
“I don’t know.”
“You can’t stay here anymore, Caro. You know that, right?”
I let my breath out in a long sigh.
“I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“Maybe Mitch and Shirley? They’d help, I know they would.”
I shook my head slowly. “I’m not taking my troubles to their door.” I sighed. “I’m still… in an illegal relationship with a minor – I wouldn’t do that to them.”
He didn’t argue so I knew he’d taken my words seriously.
“What about your mom’s? I know you’re not close, but…”
“No. She practically kicked me out when I was 19,” I said bitterly. “Why do you think I married David so quickly?”
He was silent for a moment but I felt his body tense; he did that every time I so much as mentioned David’s name. Some sort of primal response, I guessed.
“What about friends back east?”
“Same problem,” I whispered. “I’d be involving them in… well, you know.”
He hugged me closer and I could feel his warm breath on my neck.
“There’s a women’s shelter near Park West… I… I heard mom mention it once. Maybe…”
“I can’t because…” My whispered words shuddered to a halt.
“Because of me.”
His voice was bitter.
“You can’t go to any of the places that would help you… because of me.”
I knew why he thought that, why he would say that, but I couldn’t let him blame himself.
“It’s not your fault, Sebastian,” I said gently, stroking his arm. “You’re the one good thing I’ve got in my life. I wouldn’t change that for anything. Not for anything. I finally feel… alive.”
I heard him gasp and he pulled me closer.