I must have fallen asleep because when my cellphone buzzed with a text message, I jerked awake. I struggled to sit up, wondering why I felt so sore and then the memories came flying back like locusts. The skin on my legs felt raw, or rather, the hot tightness of bad sunburn. I was astonished to find that my face was wet: I didn’t know it was possible to cry in your sleep. It wasn’t from the pain – at least, not the physical pain.
I turned on my side to reach the bedside light. The little alarm clock told me it was after 11 PM; I’d been asleep for nearly four hours.
I expected the text to be from Sebastian and it was – but not the goodnight message I’d anticipated.
* Am outside. Is he there?
There’s no car?
Can I c u? *
I leapt out of bed and immediately regretted moving so quickly. Even in the weak pool of light from the little lamp, my legs looked horrible. I needed to find something to cover them up. I found an old hippy skirt at the back of the closet. It was dated and faintly ridiculous, but it was the only fabric I could tolerate right now. Best of all, it was floor length.
Moving carefully, I made my way down to the kitchen. I stared in disgust at the vomit-like pool of cold lasagna on the tiled floor. That bastard hadn’t even tried to clear it away. I hesitated, thinking I should clean up before I let Sebastian in: he’d only ask questions which I wanted to avoid. But it was too late; he’d seen my silhouette as soon as I’d walked in the kitchen and I could see his shadow rocking impatiently on the balls of his feet.
His smile vanished as soon as he saw my face. My attempt to fool him for even a second had obviously been in vain.
“Caro, what’s wrong?”
I just shook my head and he pulled me into a tight hug. His jeans pushed against my legs, rubbing my skirt fabric against my burns. I winced and he felt me shudder.
“What’s the matter? Did something happen? Tell me!”
I sighed into his chest.
“David and I had a fight,” I said.
He froze as soon as I’d said the words.
“He knows?”
I shook my head slowly. “No. It was nothing to do with you: just a stupid fight.”
He breathed a sigh of something like relief.
“What was it about then?”
He wasn’t going to let this one go.
“He was pissed because I refused to sleep with him – I mean, sleep in his bed, not... I told him I’d be staying in the guest room.”
“That asshole! Fuck, Caro! I really want to…”
He didn’t finish the sentence but it didn’t take a genius to figure out what he was thinking.
“Has he… gone out?”
I nodded. “Yes, he’s been gone a while. I’ve no idea when… or if, he’ll be back.”
“Can I come in for a bit?”
His voice was hopeful.
“Okay, for a bit.”
He frowned at my unenthusiastic reply. I was so tired and wrung out, I couldn’t handle a jealous and angry Sebastian right now.
He halted in his tracks when he saw the mess on the floor.
“Did he do that?”
I nodded silently and fetched a cloth to start clearing it up.
Without speaking Sebastian took the rag from me. I was too weary to argue even though I wanted to. It was just all wrong to have my lover clear up the mess my husband had made in our kitchen over a fight about the matrimonial bed. My brain was tied in knots just trying to keep all the pieces in the right place. Somehow everything had gotten so mixed up and confused.
Finally, the floor was clean and the remains of David’s dinner had been dumped in the trash can. Sebastian washed his hands and dried them on the back of his pants.
He sat down at the table and put his arm around me. I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. He wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest, just holding me. Every now and then I felt his light kisses in my hair.