Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage

CHAPTER FOURTEEN


THE SILENCE PULSED in the office after his mother muttered something and left. Dev felt the tension coiling inside him, so swift and ferocious, that he was surprised his body didn’t shatter. She had used their marriage—used him—as leverage to further her career. He never thought Tina would betray him like this.

He rested his fists on the desk and forced himself to look at his wife. “My publicity department is in a panic,” Dev said. “It appears that your mother is shopping around a tell-all exposé.”

“My mother?”

“Not only will it discuss how horribly I treated you and how amazing I am in bed, but it will also explain your mysterious disappearance.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of it,” she blurted out. “You know I would never do something like this.”

“Do I?” he asked silkily as the anger ate at him like acid. “And yet you threatened me with this not too long ago. At the time I didn’t believe it. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“When did I say that?” She tilted her head as it occurred to her. “Wait, do you mean when I found out that Shreya was playing Laila? I said that in anger but I wouldn’t do that. That would have hurt me just as much as you.”

Dev stared at her. It would have been suicide to her career if she had planned to stay in Mumbai. Now she was ready to throw a grenade on everything they had together and walk away. Tina’s action proved only one thing: she didn’t want another chance at this marriage.

The blow was staggering. He had done everything he could and she was ready to walk. Why had he thought he could change her mind? She had not mentioned a future together.

“Say something,” Tina whispered. She watched him with extreme caution as she wrung her hands together.

“You’re a better actress than anyone gives you credit for,” he said as he pushed away from his desk. “I believed you.”

She frowned as she nervously tugged at her sari. “What are you talking about?”

“You refused to take my name because you didn’t want anyone to accuse you of marrying an Arjun for career advancement.” He braced his legs and crossed his arms, ready for battle. “You refused to work with me or with Arjun Entertainment. You rejected my help every step of the way because you didn’t want to feel obligated to me.”

“I was wrong to do that,” she said. “I didn’t know that my decisions hurt you.”

Was that it? Or was she playing the devoted wife for another reason? There had been starlets who had wanted to be part of the Arjun dynasty. They had been traditional with perfect backgrounds, but none of them interested him. Had Tina known how to seduce him? Was she just as devious as the characters she played?

Her career would skyrocket if she didn’t play the dutiful wife. Salacious gossip—true or false—would put her in higher demand. But it was a short-term strategy. If she played it right and cashed in quickly, she would have the money and fame she’d always wanted.

“I take it you saw the magazine cover. The one with me and Shreya.”

“I don’t care about that.” She gestured at the magazine on the coffee table.

“Don’t lie to me, jaan. I know that you saw a divorce lawyer today.” He had seen the amateur pictures on a few blogs moments ago in his meeting with the publicity department. The publicist was annoyed that these pictures had been taken on their anniversary. Dev had been stunned. It had been like a sharp dagger to the heart. All this time he had thought they were reconciling but Tina wasn’t going to wait one minute longer to start the divorce process.

Tina gasped. “Divorce lawyer? What are you talking about?”

“You must have rushed right over there after seeing the magazine.” She’d sworn she would walk out if there was any evidence that he was having an affair. “Or did you make the appointment two months ago when we made our agreement? Or was it longer ago than that? When you walked away? The night after we got married?”

“You’ve got it all wrong, Dev.”

He tried to ignore her stricken expression. “You married me to improve your career in Hindi films. Now you’re going to Hollywood and you don’t need my help.”

Tina took a step forward. “I married you because I loved you.”

Dev scoffed at her declaration. “I don’t believe that for a second. If you had loved me, it was a very weak love. It broke the moment we faced trouble.”

“That’s not true. I have always loved you.” She squared back her shoulders and pressed her fists at her sides. “Do you know how demeaning it is to love someone who resents being married to you? Or how much it hurts to love someone who makes you feel unwanted and unworthy of his attention?”

“It wasn’t too long ago when you declared that you hated me.”

“I hated what you did to me.” Her chin wobbled as the tears shone in her eyes. “I hated that you had all the power and I had none. I hated that I could love you even under all the hate.”

All the power? He was defenseless when it came to Tina. “Get out.” His voice was weak and raspy.

Tina went very still. “What?”

“You heard me. Get out.” He pointed at the door. “Get out of this office. Get out of my home. Get out of my life.”

She clasped her hands together and gave him a pleading look. “Dev, I didn’t go to a divorce lawyer.”

“Move out of my house immediately and go to America.” He needed her to go across the world. He would breathe easier knowing she couldn’t invade his life again.

“But...but...” Tina looked at the door and then at him. “What about your investors?”

He gave a humorless chuckle and rubbed his hand over his face. Once he had felt guilty about lying to her. He knew she would be angry when she found out but he’d thought it was for a good cause. His crumbling marriage. “There are none.”

“What? I don’t understand. What happened?”

“There never were investors. I lied, Tina.” Dev watched the realization dawn on her. “I said that so you would stay. I had this crazy idea that if I could have you back home for a few months, you would fall back in love with me and we could start over.”

Tina closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. “Wh-why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Right, because you were so receptive to the idea. You would have run as far as you could in the other direction if you’d known what I wanted.”

“Dev, you have to believe me. I didn’t do anything behind your back. I want to—”

“I’ve heard enough.” That was the problem. He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that he misunderstood. That Tina was innocent. And he would keep on believing as she wrung the hope out of him. This time he had to protect himself. “Get out.”

She stared at him. He felt the wild energy swirling around her. An urgency. He knew the feeling. It had happened the last time his world fell apart and there was nothing he could do to save his dreams.

“I mean it, Tina.” He watched her tremble at the menace in his voice. “If you don’t leave right now, I will carry you out myself.”

“But...” she gave another quick glance at the door. “What if I’m pregnant?”

Her words stung like the tip of a whip. His anger spiked so hot that it felt incandescent. Dev decided Tina was lucky there was a desk between them. “Don’t even joke about it.”

“I’m serious. What happens if I’m carrying your baby?”

“Life wouldn’t be so cruel.”

She gasped and jerked back. He knew his words wounded her. It didn’t please him.

“If you’re pregnant, I would stay married to you,” he said. Only this time, he wouldn’t hope for a reconciliation. “We will have separate homes, live on different continents and have separate lives. It worked for my parents. Why should I want anything different?”


“No.” She shook her head. “No, you don’t want that. I know you, Dev.”

But that was before he’d discovered that Tina didn’t want a future or a family with him. How long would she have dangled the promise of forever if the American television deal hadn’t gone through?

“And the child would stay with me,” he said. He couldn’t imagine the demands she would have made if she had carried his child. The Arjun heir.

“No court would allow that!”

He didn’t know why they were arguing about it. Tina had made it very clear that she didn’t want to carry a baby again. Namely, his baby. That had hurt him more than he cared to admit. “Do you think you can fight the influence and money I have?”

Tina blinked as she swayed on her feet. She grabbed the back of the chair as her body began to shake. “You wouldn’t,” she whispered.

He didn’t think he would, but he wasn’t thinking about what was right or wrong at the moment. He was in pain and he was lashing out. “Don’t test me,” he warned. “But you’re not carrying my baby. This time I walk away. This time I’m asking for the divorce. Get out of my life, Tina. I don’t want you as my wife anymore.”

* * *

The drums pounded as Tina spun wildly on the stage. She was giving this performance everything she had. Her lungs burned, her legs shook and she fought the wave of dizziness. She was almost done.... Almost there...

As the music ended with a dramatic flourish, the folds of her tunic still moving, Tina smiled and tossed her hands up in the air to thunderous applause. She wanted to savor this moment, the last time she was going to perform, but the crowd’s reaction didn’t break through the sadness that had settled around her the past month.

Tina curtseyed to the bridal party and immediately left the stage, ignoring the cries for an encore. She waved to the well-dressed crowd and gave a deep sigh as her lungs threatened to shrivel. She knew this wedding dance was her last performance. She was retiring after tonight.

“I don’t think anyone noticed that one mistake.” Her mother was at her side wearing her best shalwar kameez. The dupatta shot with gold thread was barely hanging on to her shoulders. She gave Tina a bottle of water and a hand towel to wipe off the sweat. “And what happened at the end when you stumbled? Are you feeling dizzy again?”

“It’ll go away,” Tina said. She had overdone it and it was going to take a moment or two to recover.

Reema glanced over Tina’s shoulder as if gauging the audience’s mood. “After tonight, I’m sure you will get other offers to dance at weddings.”

“I’m not interested.” Her fingers fumbled as she tried to open the water bottle.

Reema sighed. “You should keep your options open. I understand why you refused the tell-all. It wasn’t my best idea.”

“That’s why you’re no longer my manager,” Tina reminded her. “You should have told me what you were planning to do before you shopped it around.”

“It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission,” Reema said. “And it’s a shame the American TV deal didn’t go through.”

“There was never a deal, Amma.”

“No one needs to know that,” Reema said. “But that doesn’t mean you have to turn your back on entertaining altogether.”

“There’s no point in starting up again only to have to stop in the next few months.” Her hands brushed against her stomach. “I want to concentrate on getting through this pregnancy.”

“Or are you trying to hide your pregnancy from your husband?” Reema asked.

“You know why I have to hide this information,” Tina said tightly. When she had moved in with her mother and sisters, Tina told them how she had sought help for her depression. She had hoped to find support but their responses had been awkward and uncomfortable. At times she wished she had kept it a secret.

“I think he should know,” Reema said as she hurriedly fixed her dupatta. “He should be the one taking care of you.”

“I am taking care of myself and I am under the care of the best doctors. Also—” Tina’s voice faded as she watched her mother’s gaze dart over her shoulder again. “What’s going on?”

“Going on?” Her mother’s voice was high and screechy. “Nothing.”

She sensed a stir of interest in the workers behind her. Dread twisted her stomach as she watched the guilt bloom in her mother’s face. “What did you do?”

Reema thrust her chin out defiantly. “I invited him to Meera’s wedding. He’s still paying for it after everything that happened. And I might have let it slip—”

Tina gasped in horror. Dev had found out about the baby. “No!” She whirled around, her head spinning. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. She blinked and stared into Dev’s dark brown eyes.

Her heart leaped and crashed when she saw his fury. He towered over her, his hands clenched at his sides. He was an intimidating sight in his dark suit and tie. Her balance weaved as she inhaled a faint whiff of his cologne. She wanted to throw herself in his arms and she wanted to run far, far away.

“It is true?” His voice slashed through the tense atmosphere.

“I...” She frowned as dark spots gathered in the corner of her eyes.

“Just tell me the truth.” He reached out and grabbed her upper arms. “Are you carrying my baby?”

The dark spots grew bigger and she suddenly felt very cold. “Dev?” she called out before her head lolled back and she fainted.

* * *

Tina didn’t want to wake up. For the first time in a month she felt warm and safe. She snuggled deeper into her pillow and sighed. There was something strangely familiar about the bed. It was more luxurious than the one at her mother’s house. And the buzz of the ceiling fan reminded her of a different room. A different bed.

She forced her eyes open and looked at the fan whirring above her. Her chest tightened and she decided she wasn’t brave enough to look to her side. She remembered fainting at the wedding and waking up in Dev’s strong arms. She had struggled to keep her eyes open but lost the battle. When she had opened them again she had been in a car, still surrounded by Dev’s arms.

Now she was back in Dev’s bed. What was going on?

She jerked when she heard her mother’s loud voice down the hall. Reema was complaining and giving orders. Some things were normal.

“I wanted to take you to the hospital.”

She froze when she heard Dev’s voice. Damn. She paused to gather all the courage she could muster and turned to see Dev lounging on the chair next to the bed. His jacket had been discarded and his tie was loosened. His hair was mussed as if he had raked his fingers through it continuously. And he still looked incredibly handsome.

“But I know how you feel about those places,” he continued. “So I brought you here and we’re waiting for the doctor.”

“I don’t need a doctor.” She needed to get out of here. Get out of Dev Arjun’s sphere where he ruled all.

Dev’s eyes narrowed with impatience. “Don’t make me regret this decision, jaan. The only reason we are here is because of your fear of hospitals.”

“I’m not afraid of hospitals,” she insisted. She had been going to doctors and specialists since she left Dev a month ago and the hospital settings didn’t bother her. “It just brings back the bad memories.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” he reminded her. “Are you pregnant?”

He knew. She was displaying the same dizziness as the first time she was pregnant. He didn’t need confirmation so why did he keep asking? “You don’t want the answer.”

“You don’t know what I want.”

“I know that you want me out of your life. You think life couldn’t be that cruel to have me carrying your baby. But I don’t know why you, who wanted to end this marriage as soon as possible, haven’t made a move towards a divorce.” His lack of action had surprised her. Confused her. Made her hope for things that weren’t possible.

“Because I don’t want a divorce. I never did.”

She scoffed. “You did when you thought I was giving a tell-all interview. You thought I was betraying you. Hurting you so I could further my career.”

He tilted his head in acknowledgment. “I was hurt and I said a few things I shouldn’t. What I should have told you, what I should have said a year ago, is that I want you as my wife.”

It was too late for her to hear those words and yet they pulled at her. “Don’t waste your time revising history,” she whispered as her chest ached with regret. “You’re only saying this because you think I’m pregnant.”

“I want this child, too.” He leaned forward and braced his arms on his knees. “I want the family life that I thought only existed in the movies. You made my dream come true and I want to hold on to it forever.”

“I want something else,” she said, her voice rising. He was saying all the things she wanted to hear and it scared her. Her heart was beating frantically and yet she was settling deeper into the bed when she should be launching out of it and running out the door. “I’m going to Hollywood, remember?”


“No, you’re not,” he said softly. “I know all about it. When you refused to go to Los Angeles, your mother came to me in a panic. She thought I was trying to control your career again.”

Tina wanted to scream with frustration. She didn’t think her mother would have said anything to Dev. She wanted him to think she had moved on so she could get through this pregnancy without any interference.

“You didn’t think I had an affair with Shreya, did you?”

Tina frowned as she tried to think of an explanation that didn’t reveal too much. “I know nothing is going on between you and Shreya.” The magazine headlines bothered her because she knew the truth. She didn’t like the lies that were said about Dev and wanted people to know that he was a man worthy of her love and respect.

“I was sure you were canceling our agreement on our anniversary,” Dev said. “I thought you didn’t trust me. It turns out I had jumped to conclusions and ruined everything.”

“I trust you, Dev,” she whispered.

“If you’re pregnant, you can’t get rid of me,” Dev said as he held her gaze. “I will be there for you whether or not you want me around.”

“You don’t have to go through this again,” Tina said. “Get out now while you can.”

“I don’t want to get out,” Dev said in a growl. “I want to care for you. I protect what is mine.”

“I am not yours.” It hurt to say that out loud. Tina blinked away the tears that threatened to spill from her lashes. “You threw me out, remember?”

“I felt like I was the only one fighting for us. I wanted you to fight just as hard. Instead, you walked away.”

Tina’s deep sigh dragged from her throat. “I’m tired of fighting.”

“So I’ll keep fighting for us,” he vowed as he watched her intently. “But if I can’t have that, then let me support you. Let me be a part of this.”

She wanted Dev to be part of every step in this journey. She needed to rely on him if something went wrong. But if he knew what could happen, why was he volunteering to stay? “You’ve been through this before. Why would you want to go through it again?”

“Is that why you’re not telling me? Is this your way of protecting me? Or were you keeping the baby a secret so I didn’t take it away from you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, it matters!” He swore and lowered his voice. “I love you and I want to look after you. Why is it so hard to accept that?”

“You love me?” she repeated in a daze.

“Yes, I have always loved you.” He looked away, almost shyly. “I tried to fight it, but it overpowers me. I thought that the love I have was strong enough that it could carry the both of us. I was wrong. I want you to love me. Trust me. Need me.”

She hesitated, feeling like she was on the edge of a big cliff and ready to take a leap of faith. “Dev, did you wonder why I went to your office a month ago?”

“I thought you had come back from the lawyers and were going to ask for a divorce.”

Her skin felt hot as nervousness raced through her veins. “I was going to ask for you to give our marriage a second chance.”

He winced. “You were?”

“I wore a sari, Dev. That should have been your first clue that I was going to ask for something important.”

Dev leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “You wanted to try again. And I threw you out.”

“I want you as my husband,” she said, her heart pounding against her ribs. If he rejected her now she wouldn’t recover. “But not for a limited time. I’m staying with you through thick and thin. If you don’t want this, you need to tell me now.”

“Tina, you are what I want, and I will show that to you every day.”