Misguided Heart

Twenty-Two

Sloan

I wish I could have explained how she was making me feel. I had never been one to try a relationship, but with her, I was willing to try. Since when? Ah, I swear I needed to just shut my mind off for a few hours, try to forget all about that damn beautiful blonde, sexy as hell woman.

F*ck!

Red hair grazed my stomach as I watched her head bounce up and down. I was trying to put myself in the moment, but damn if her face didn't keep popping into my head. I grabbed a chunk of fiery hair in my palm and squeezed. I could feel her let out a little yelp, but I paid her no attention. Her movements picked up pace and I knew I should be close, but my mind was preventing me from finishing. What the hell was this girl doing to me?

Visions of bouncing her up and down on my dick flashed through my mind and I could feel myself getting harder. If I just kept thinking about her, maybe I could just come and kick this bitch out already. I know I sounded like a f*cking prick, but well, that's who I was. When I was with Aston, I had only been playing a part; a part that just wasn't me, whether she liked it or not. I couldn't believe I was dumb enough to think that I was anything more than just some guy to make her ex jealous. That's what I get for trying to care for someone else, even if it was just to get into her panties.

“Are you almost done? My jaw is starting to hurt real bad.”

Seriously? Who did she think she was talking to?

“Come here.” I fingered for her to come closer to my face. When she was right in front of me, I dropped my voice really low. “Take off your panties and turn around.”

She did exactly as she was told and turned around, face down ass up. I smiled a naughty grin and took my mind back to the other night in the hotel. I watched the movie reel of Aston and I as I slid my hard dick into, ah f*ck I can't remember her name now. Oh well, it's not important. I let my head fall back as I watched Aston bouncing on top of me. I could feel myself getting close and I picked up my pace. I slammed my dick into her harder every time I entered, and just as I was about to explode, Aston’s face appeared right in front me. It was almost too real for my liking but it did the job. I gave her a small slap on her ass and then pulled out of her. I headed straight into the bathroom to flush the condom and came back out fully clothed.

“So, you wanna hang out for a bit?”

I shook my head and smiled. “Not tonight love, I've got work early in the morning. Maybe some other time.” I made sure not to phrase it as a question, because honestly, I planned on never seeing this girl again.

Whatever her name was.

“Call me?”

“Probably not.” I winked and she thought I was joking.

About an hour later, I was still wide-awake and staring aimlessly at the ceiling above my bed. Up until the other night, I was all about being alone, and loving it. Not tonight. Tonight I would have given my right nut to have Aston lying beside me, just as she had been this weekend.

After another half hour of a raging hard on just thinking about her and tossing and turning, I decided to go for a ride. I pulled my Ducati out onto the 101 and let go. I glanced down for a brief second, long enough to see the small red needle pass 110. For the first time in what felt like forever, I finally felt free. My mind went completely blank, except for the road in front of me. I headed north with no direction, or destination in mind as I jerked back on the throttle, popping the front of the bike into a wheelie as my speed climbed.

I can't compare the feeling you get when riding to anything. I had never experienced anything like it in my life. My father had always informed me of the dangers that came along with motorcycles, but I knew how dangerous they were. I also knew how to ride, really well actually, so I always just ignored him.

The funny thing is, it was my father who taught me how to ride. Back when I was younger, my father had been much more of a risk taker. It was only as he got older that he became a stuffy, paper pushing, make as much money as he can, type of man. I was seven when my dad bought me my first dirt bike. We used to have this huge motocross type track in our backyard that I rode on everyday. I started out on a BMX bike, but my dad had made it clear that those bikes were for pussies. If you wanted to be a real man, you needed a motor between your legs.

I didn't realize it then, but he was right. I never owned a car in high school, I always rode my motorcycle. I got more tail than any other guy in school. When I was a sophomore, I had already bagged three out of the eight cheerleaders, and they wouldn't even give the seniors the time of day; hence the cocky attitude. It's not all my fault that I turned out this way. Girls at my school had made themselves too easy. Sure I could have said no, but when you're sixteen and you have a group of girls willing to do whatever you want, you rarely say no.

I did have one serious relationship in high school. Alexandra Scott. She was about five feet nine inches and all legs. She wasn't a cheerleader, hell she didn't even get involved in anything really, but man she had the body of a cheerleader. She had waist length long brown hair and honey amber eyes, the shape of almonds. She was naturally tan and was extremely talented, if you catch my drift.

Things with Alex started out slow, for the first time in my high school career. We met in the parking lot one day after school. As I was saying goodbye to one of my buddies, she was walking over to the only other bike in the lot. I only started talking to her once I realized we both had the same Suzuki GSX-R. From that moment, I could have sworn I was in love.

We started hanging out on a regular basis after school. I didn't play sports and she had no extra curricular activities, so we found ourselves at the park five out of the seven days of the week. For the first time in my life, I had found someone, a girl, who I had more in common with than any of my other friends.

Needless to say, weeks turned into months, months turned into a year and I found myself actually thinking about marriage. Marriage and I weren't friends, to say the least. I was a wild child. I didn't want anything keeping me down or holding me back from what I wanted, or who I wanted to do. But, Alex had a hold of my heart.

The moment I decided to ask Alex to marry me, I went straight to my mother to tell her the good news. She was thrilled. Over the moon to be exact, given the fact that she would finally have a daughter. My father on the other hand, told me I was wasting my life. That one day I would run his company and Alex would only want my money. Knowing how much of a prick my father had turned in to, I didn't give a shit what he thought. I had merely told him out of consideration.

The next week, I went and bought her a ring and planned out a whole romantic night. I knew how much girls loved that shit. I tried calling her at least ten times, before I finally went to her house. When I reached the end of the driveway, I could see the police officers inside talking to her parents. When I saw her mom hysterically crying on her fathers shoulder, I knew Alex was gone.

I mourned Alex for quite sometime. Probably longer than I should have, but when I was done, I vowed to never love anyone ever again. It was too hard losing someone you love that much, knowing there was nothing you could do to save them. It was a motorcycle accident that took Alex from me that day. She had taken a turn too sharp and hit a sign head on. I won't get into the gruesome details; lets just say she never stood a chance.

Since that day, I went back to my playboy ways, but something in me found a way to play the part my father wanted me to as well. So now here I am, a f*ck up but brilliant businessman to my father, a devoted son to my mother and a heartless prick to any girl that crosses my path.

I turned my bike around and headed back home. My body was physically exhausted and my brain was right behind it, with a massive amount of emotional drain. If anything, I knew I would sleep well tonight.