I widen my eyes at him and scowl. “Nope. It’s over. I don’t love you. I’ve never loved you. You should just go now.”
“OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS OVER!” Rocco wails, throwing his arms around me and sobbing into my shoulder.
“OVER. ACTING,” I say through clenched teeth.
He quickly pulls back and puffs out his chest. “Whatev, babe. It’s cool.”
With that, he walks around me and heads to the door, passing Ava as she comes in with Tyler.
“Oooooh, cute shoes!” Rocco says before walking out, the door slamming closed behind him.
“So, who’s hungry? I’m starving!” I announce to the room as they all stand there staring at me.
“Hey, Charlotte, what’s with this list I found on your desk?” Molly asks, walking into the room from the back hallway. “Show him your cleavage, make him change your tire, have him lick chocolate off of you …”
Molly trails off when she finally looks up and sees me staring at her in horror. Gavin walks past me and right up to Molly, snatching the piece of paper out of her hands reading through it. As his eyes widen in what I assume to be horror while he scans the list, I seriously contemplate turning and running out of the house. Maybe leaving the country and changing my name.
“Gavin, I can explain,” I tell him softly, trying not to cry.
Gavin doesn’t say anything as he continues reading.
Tyler walks across the room and glances over Gavin’s shoulder. “Ooooh, that’s a good one. Take him to a sporting event and act like you know what’s going on. He would have totally fallen for that.”
Gavin puts his hand over his mouth, and I’m wondering if it’s going to be the mustard episode all over again and he’s going to start gagging. I see his shoulders start to shake and suddenly realize he’s laughing. He’s fucking laughing at my list.
“What the hell is so funny?” I demand.
I don’t care if I’m in the wrong here. He’s laughing at my misguided attempt to get him to fall in love with me. It’s really not a laughing matter.
Gavin moves his hand away and laughs out loud. “Tyler, I think you should tell her what’s so funny.”
“Holy fuck, it’s about time,” Tyler complains, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a folded up piece of notebook paper, handing it over to me.
I stare at it in confusion for a few seconds before Gavin speaks through his laughs. “You really need to open that.”
With a sigh, I unfold the paper and scan the words written in Tyler’s messy handwriting. I really don’t need to read everything; the title at the top of the page pretty much says it all.
“Oh my God,” I mutter.
Gavin comes up to me and places both of his hands on my cheeks, pulling my head up so he can look into my eyes. “I’m not crazy, right? This means you love me?”
I laugh and shake my head at him. “You idiot. Of course I love you. I loved you even when you were mutilating my Barbies and calling me a labia. I’m pretty sure giving you my virginity should have been clue number one.”
Too late, I realize we’re not alone in this room.
“Gavin, I love you like a son, but right now I want to punch you in your face,” Dad tells him.
“Can you wait to kick my ass until after I kiss your daughter, please?” Gavin begs him.
“Fine. You’ve got ten seconds. And then I’m ripping off your dick and giving you your own labia,” Dad threatens, crossing his arms over his chest.
Gavin doesn’t waste any of those ten seconds. He swoops down and presses his lips to mine.
“Oh my God, I’m totally going to cry. Liz, get me a tissue,” Aunt Claire says.
“Get your own fucking tissue, you whore,” Mom sniffles.
“I’m still wearing the blue dress to the wedding,” Aunt Claire tells her as I wrap my arms around Carter’s neck.
“We are going to throw down right the fuck now. Jim, get the Fight Club DVD. This is totally happening,” Mom states.
“I’m going to punch you right in the ovaries.”
“Yeah, well I’m going to be the first one to walk down the aisle, so you’re going to look like a dick when you waltz down in your subpar blue dress.”
“I’m going to make you wear a suck-for-a-buck shirt at her bachelorette party.”
“Oh no you DIDN’T just say that to me!”
“Oh yeah, that JUST happened!”
“Their first born is going to be named after me.”
“Your name is bullshit.”
“YOU’RE BULLSHIT!”
Breaking the kiss, I pull back and look at Gavin.
“Are you sure about this? I don’t know if our families are going to survive,” I tell him softly with a smile.
“Jim, get me the basket of dinner rolls from the kitchen. There are twelve with Claire’s face written all over them.”
“Carter, get me the mashed potatoes and turn on the ceiling fan. This bitch is going down.”
Gavin laughs and shakes his head. “Love and lists. Just remember, love and lists. Nothing else matters.”
Pulling Gavin’s mouth back down to mine, I forget all about the chaos surrounding us and just enjoy the moment.
“Alright, that’s enough. Break it up. I’ve got a face to beat up,” my dad announces.