I immediately knew from where her aggravation had derived. “You didn't seem to take offense to Thompson’s brashness,” I pleaded.
“You didn't give me a chance to. It was almost as if you were accusing me of doing something wrong,” she shot back. During her short pause, she diverted her eyes out the window. With a hard and long exasperated blink of her eyes, she buried her face in her hands and exhaled. “Azmir, Thompson was absolutely wrong...and bold but so help me god, he’s just an outside force to me. We have many of them. In my world there’s just you...me and you. He’s on the outside with everyone else.”
Her eyes came to meet mine once again. “I’m not good with being scolded. I’ve been alone for so long that I internalize it more than you intend for me to and I feel isolated. If there’s a problem you have to address it in a better manner until I give you reason to do otherwise. Okay?”
Not wanting to fight and contented hearing her express her feelings I conceded with a nod. I was already fucked up in the head from my earlier visit to the hospital.
When we arrived at the restaurant, I held her hand from the car to the door of the eatery and all the way to the table where we were seated. I didn't want to let her go despite the cold vibes emitting from her. We sat side by side and I draped my arm around her.
“How was your day?”
“I was in a meeting all morning. There were a few interesting tidbits of information given but overall the annual babble from upper management. Layoffs are looming.”
“You’re going to be okay, aren’t you?” I found myself squeezing her hand in concern. Although, I knew that no matter what I’d take care of her, if she let me. I’d make her let me.
“Sounds like it, but we’ll hear soon which locations will have to start pink-slipping their support staff.” She waved her hand in the air, pushing away that conversation, “I don't want to talk about my work. After that meeting I can use some distraction. Tell me about your day.”
The waiter came to take our order and we took a minute to make our selections. Rayna and I both passed on alcohol as we were both on the clock. She ordered a salad and I followed suit.
Once he was out of earshot Rayna turned back to me. “Your day, sir?”
“It's been eventful.” I sighed. “I had business to take care of with Robert first thing this morning followed by a staff briefing at the rec.” I examined her earrings with my fingers causing her to shift in her seat. I liked that I had an effect on her.
“That didn't sound eventful at all,” she softly giggled trying to compose herself.
“Well, that's because I'm not finished.” I murmured in a moment of fortitude. “Tara had her baby this morning.”
Rayna's mouth dropped. She swung around to face me, scooting back. I could swear to seeing all the blood drain from her face. I braced myself for how this would go down.
“When? How? You were there?” She couldn't hide the restlessness in her voice and I'm not sure that she tried.
“Likely around the time I was headed into work. C-section. And obviously I was not there, neither do I think it would’ve been appropriate for me to have been.”
I watched her eyes bounce back and forth aimlessly in anxiety. I knew instantly that she needed security and affirmation.
I ran my thumb down her cheek and over her bottom lip and before I could speak, she jerked her head back withdrawing from my embrace.
In a forceful whisper she said, “Just say it. You don't have to perform any pity rituals to break the bad news.”
My eyes widened in total shock, I didn't like seeing her unnecessarily defeated and misled.
“Nothing has changed between Tara and me, and not a damn thing will change between you and me.”
“Well, why the long face and sentimental affection? Azmir, something has affected you.” She searched my eyes.