“Okay, that settles the mortgage. As far as the utilities, my accountant has that worked out as well. I only see those types of bills when I request them from her to check and balance my books. That's taken care of.” When I was done drying her, I grabbed her hand to walked over to the vanity. “As far as cleaning, I have a woman—sometimes two—come and clean daily. They’re taken care of as well. And you know Boyd is here five days a week. There are several weekend availabilities in his contract to be negotiated as needed. Since we’ve been dating I’ve been out with you most weekends so I haven't requested additional time.”
Rayna clasped onto her towel expressing how uncomfortable she had become suddenly. I didn't think this was anything to draw up over.
“What is it now, Ms. Brimm?” I evened my tone.
She looked every which way except for at me and said, “I keep forgetting you have money. Azmir, that's a lot to take on for someone who has always been so financially independent. Nothing's for free. Right?” Her eyes rose to mine filled with so much consternation that my chest twisted for her.
“Listen, I don’t want anything from you but this.” I said pointing to her heart. “If it makes you feel more secure and comfortable, hold onto your house for a little bit...though I don't think you'll be needing it again. Unless you want to get rid of this place and we move in yours,” I offered hoping like hell she wouldn't entertain the idea.
“I like the idea of holding on to my place...just until I find my footing here,” she tried to reassure me before turning to brush her teeth. I followed suit and started reaching for my toothbrush.
“Whatever will make you happy, Ms. Brimm. I'll grab some cake and then tuck you in before I get some work done.”
We found our way back into the master bedroom where she stepped into the closet and put on an off-white silk slip that smoothly fell from her shoulders down to her thighs. Brimm's body is the truth. I tossed on a T-shirt, basketball shorts and socks. When I grabbed my Blackberry I saw that I had a missed call and message from “Yaz”. I listened to the message after cutting a large slice of cake and before meeting up with Rayna in bed.
“Why the sudden long face?” she inquired.
Damn. Is my face really reflecting my processes?
“Nothing really. My mother wants to meet. Not sure if I'm feeling that though.”
“Why not?”
I lie down next to her, but on top of the comforter that she's underneath and reached over to her side of the bed to feed her some of the buttery pound cake she baked from scratch. I was impressed.
“So, are we claiming sides now?” I teased.
“This is the side I've always wounded up on, so it seems natural.” With a mouthful, she pouted in jest. It was rather sexy.
“Stop smiling at me like that, Mr. Jacobs! It's distracting in more ways than one. Don't forget you’ve been away for nearly a week.” She swallowed her cake. “Plus, I want to know why wouldn’t you be interested in seeing your mother whom you haven’t seen in almost twenty years.” She sat up straight in the bed with her back resting on her pillows against the headboard. She looked down to me as I lay underneath her demolishing the cake.
“I don't know,” I murmured losing the giddiness. “I'm not in the head space to open up a can of worms. I’ve been undergoing enough changes as is.”
“That’s very Freudian of you, but I’m sure this long awaited resolve is just as important as adjusting to me being here. You deserve answers. You were abandoned,” she spoke very full of compassion. With her eyes locked to her lap she added, “I could only wish my father had provided answers as to why he abandoned us before his passing.”
Shit. “Baby, I'm sorry. I have no desire to make you reflect back to dark days on my account.”
She interrupted with, “No...no. Not at all. It's just a fact. If you have the opportunity to gain a resolve, go for it. You're owed that, Azmir. The little boy in you needs it.”
It had been a while since I’d seen Rayna so strong and therapeutic. It was refreshing to say the least.
“I've been told that every broken adult that has experienced childhood trauma carries the child they used to be in them until they address their demons. I could only wish I had that opportunity,” she chuckled ruefully, gazing off into the distance.