I Love You to Death

It wasn’t always like that though; at first Luke didn’t want anything to do with it, at first Luke didn’t even want to tell me about it.

"Why don’t you want to go Luke? This is a fantastic opportunity, such a big thing for you guys, you really should go."

He smiles sadly at me. We are curled up together on our bed. I came home from the hospital only yesterday, after spending a week in there. Luke still hasn’t left me. Poor Robert has lost two staff members because of this, because Luke refuses to go back to work and I can’t. I told him I was fine, that Mia was here anyway and would look after me, but he still won’t leave.

"I can’t Ash, I just can’t," he says quietly.

"Luke," I say firmly, my hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at me. "Tell me why not?"

I wonder if it’s something to do with his parents. If he’s afraid of going back there, being in the same city as them again. I already know he won’t see them, won’t ever get in contact with them. Although a part of me is sad they can’t see the man he has become, I completely understand his refusal. His Dad destroyed their relationship the day he hit Luke and his Mom did the day she ignored it. It’s up to them to mend that mistake, not Luke.

"Because I don’t want to be apart from you Ash, I can’t spend months in LA apart from you," he whispers sadly.

I smile now, finally realising what the real reason is and the sad look on Luke’s face turns to total confusion.

"What?" he asks.

I lean up and kiss his jaw. "I was planning on coming with you Luke," I say, smiling. "I thought you’d know that?"

Luke wraps his arms tighter around me, pulling me onto his lap as he softly kisses me again and again. "Asha, I really hoped you would. I want you to, I really want you to, because I don’t want to do this without you, I can’t do this without you."

I pull back a little, still smiling at him and brush my fingers over his cheek. "You won’t Luke; we’ll do it together okay? All of it, we’ll do together."

Holding my face in his hands, Luke rests his forehead on mine as he whispers, "Always."

I can’t wait to go. I’ve never been to LA and I can’t wait to see where he grew up. And after the album’s made, they are going on tour, a promotional trip around the States to begin with. There’s even talk of supporting another band, being their opening act. I am so proud of him, so proud of all of them, they really deserve it and I cannot wait to watch the rest of world discover how amazing they are.

Now we’ve decided to go, I dig my camera out again, trying to remember what it used to feel like in my hands. Luke smiles when he sees me, but doesn’t say anything.

"I want to capture all of these moments for you, record all of the amazing things that I know are going to happen for you now." I reply to his unasked question, sneaking in a quick shot of him as he stands there smiling at me.

His blue eyes meet mine as he walks over, pulls me into his arms and says, "You are the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me Asha. You."

So very worth it.



Everyone’s coming over tonight to start discussing plans for LA. Pete and I are definitely going and we’re trying to convince Sarah to come too. Even though it’s new, I think Ben wants her to and I suspect Sarah wants to as well. I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to convince her and poor Robert won’t know what’s hit him if she leaves too. He’s already lost me and Luke; neither of us is going back now. I’m still not sure about Mia yet, not sure what her plans are. I keep watching them and hoping, but I haven’t had a chance to talk to her alone to find out what’s really going on. I’ve noticed things though; catch them watching each other, so I’m hopeful.

Tonight will be the first time everyone has been together since I came home. I saw them all in hospital, but tonight is my third night home and we’re getting together to celebrate everything that’s happened for them. I can’t wait, because I love having everyone together. They are my friends, but they are also my family now, the family I wanted so badly.

Luke is cooking dinner for all of us. He laughed at me earlier when I offered to help him.

"What?" I ask him, trying to be serious.

"Ash, beautiful, I love you more than anything, but your cooking...I’m really not sure how much help you’re gonna be in there," Luke says, smiling at me as he gestures into the kitchen, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Hey, I can help!" I reply, pretending to be hurt by his comment, but unable to hide my smile.

Luke just pulls me into his arms as he whispers, "Well, we could always make tiramisu for dessert."

I groan as I reach up and press my lips to his, pushing him into the kitchen to get started.

God, I love him.



I did die.

Natalie Wa's books