I see what it is now.
A tattoo. He’s gotten a new tattoo. I look at the black design and I’m speechless. I’ve seen it before. I’ve watched as he drew it occasionally on scraps of paper, beside his lyrics, playing with the design. I’ve watched the smile on his face as he did this. I’ve watched as that smile grew bigger every time he looked up and caught me watching him. Extra bits have been added to it now.
I look back up at his face.
He’s watching me.
Waiting.
Wanting to see what I think.
I know exactly what this is, what it means. I know, because I also know what his other tattoos are about. I know what they really mean to him and why he got them both. I know he doesn’t do this lightly, that it’s a form of expression for him, just like his music. And when he gets one, it’s important and it really means something, that the design and everything it represents, is an important part of him.
And it’s because of that, my heart just stops. It stops with the realisation that he’s made it permanent, that he’s inked this design that he created for me, forever into his skin. It’s beautiful to look at, it looks beautiful on him. And now it is a part of him forever, I am a part of him forever. I feel like I’m going to explode, because I just can’t describe what seeing that design forever marked on his body does to me.
As he smooths the bandage back over it, I can’t help but throw myself at him, wrapping my body around his. I hear him laugh softly before I push my mouth hard against his, pulling a deep groan from him. I feel his arms wrap around me, holding me tight as he turns and backs us up against the closed door. I’m glad we’re alone in here. He lifts me, pressing my back against the wood. My legs circle his waist. Leaning into me, he kisses me deeply, so deeply that I forget how to breathe. My brain is swimming inside of my head and I can’t tell if my heart has even started beating again. I can feel all of Luke pressed against me and I know exactly what he’s feeling too. When he pulls back, we are only inches apart and he whispers, "Do you like it?"
I am overflowing when I tell him, "I love it," my voice husky with desire and so much more.
He smiles at me, knows exactly what I’m saying as he looks right at me and whispers, "Good, because I love you Asha, I really love you."
Now I melt, I’m melting at his words, those words. I could listen to him say them to me forever. I look right back at him. "Luke," I whisper. "I love you too."
His smile is bigger, his eyes darker now and my heart is racing. We kiss and kiss and I wish we were somewhere else. He reads my mind, because as his lips find my ear, he whispers, "Let’s get out of here."
By now, I can only nod. My brain can’t function enough for me to get words out, so I just let him take me home. Let him take me to our room. Let him undress me and pull me into bed. Let him touch me all over, with his fingers, his lips, his tongue. Let him show me how much he feels. Try to show him how much it mirrors my own feelings.
That I want him.
That I need him.
That I love him.
We are so close, I can no longer tell where he ends and I begin.
We have no time for a shower, but neither of us cares. We walk to the club, covered in each other, our bodies wrapped tightly around each other and I feel like I don’t ever want to let him go. Just before he goes on stage, I pull him to me and stand on my toes to whisper, "I love you." I don’t know why it ever took me so long to get the words out. Now I just can’t stop telling him.
Luke smiles at me, that gorgeous smile that stops my heart and then he walks on stage and reinvents the meaning of music.
I stay watching from the side, watching Luke as he engages the audience and sings his words to them. They are good, so good tonight, everyone can feel it. The crowd is going crazy and the guys are playing like they’re drawing all of their energy from them. It’s amazing to watch. They play a new song, a song Luke wrote for us. The audience loves it, but I hardly notice anyone because I can’t take my eyes off Luke. I can’t wipe the smile off my face either, I am so happy. It’s still there when they all leave the stage, over two hours later.
I pull him straight into my arms, telling him over and over again how amazing he is, how much I love him. I can’t ever remember feeling like this before. Suddenly we are both surrounded and looking, we see that they are all hugging us. Jared and Ben and Steve and Mia and Sarah and Pete are all hugging us. We’re all laughing now because we all know it was their best performance.
We all know there is something amazing going on here.