I Love You to Death

The rest of his family still lived in Seattle, Sam was the only one to have gone away to school and stayed away when he finished. He always told me, "I spent my whole life in Seattle Ash, by the time I got to school, I needed to stay away."

In some ways I could understand that, I’d never even left Providence until I met Sam. Of course when I did, I didn’t really go back, but I hadn’t exactly ventured far. Boston’s only an hour away by train, so in the grand scheme of things, it was hardly a big adventure. But I’m glad I did it, even if it did destroy so many parts of my life, me living in Boston. I understood what Sam meant when he said he needed to get away.

Sometimes I think I should do it again.

When Sam finished at BU and graduated, his whole family came over. I’d never met his parents before, nor his sister or brother. Sam was the youngest and I guess being the baby of the family, he was also the favourite. I remember how protective Seth always was of me, and I felt like I would understand how Ethan and Kate would be protective of Sam. They were, just not in the way I imagined.

When we met them at the airport the day before graduation I remember watching as Sam half-ran towards his family, all of them embracing at once. I remember feeling surprisingly left out as they all stood there chatting, hugging and kissing each other hello, none of them, Sam included, seemingly noticing I was even there.

But then he turned, smiling at me and said, "Guys, this is my girlfriend, Ash." Holding out his hand and gesturing for me to join them.

As I walked over I saw his Mom smile at me, his Dad smiled with raised eyebrows as though he was surprised Sam even had a girlfriend. Ethan just looked blankly at me, whereas Kate outright glared at me. Only Sam was genuinely smiling. Only Sam seemed happy to have me there.

"Nice to meet you all," I said nervously, walking straight towards Sam.

We all went out for dinner that night and to be fair, they did welcome me, they were all nice to me, all except for Kate. At one point during the meal when Sam put his arm around me, she actually scowled at me, as though it was my fault he’d done it and more to the point, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

Later, when we were back at home I said to Sam, "I don’t think Kate likes me very much."

He smiled and said, "She’s just a protective older sister Ash, she likes you, don’t worry. She’s always like this at first."

"So she’s been like this with your other girlfriends?" I asked, not explaining exactly what this was.

"All of them," he smiled. "Every time."

"How many have you had?" I asked.

Sam laughed now. "Yeah there have been a few."

"And she’s like this with all of them?"

Sam hugged me as he said, "She is babe, I promise. Don’t worry she’ll grow on you."

The only problem is, she never did.

The next day at his graduation she didn’t speak to me at all, except to tell me in a hushed whisper when the rest of his family was busy posing for pictures with Sam, that she didn’t think I was good enough for Sam and, "I’d soon see what she meant."

As I looked at her, I wondered exactly what it was that she didn’t like about me. I had no idea, so I just said to her, "Soon see what?"

"Eventually he’ll get sick of you," she hissed back at me, "And move back to Seattle, without you."

That was the last thing she said to me, for the rest of her trip, and in the end she was right. About part of it anyway.



We’re at the club now, waiting for them to come on. They’re still setting up when Mia returns with beers for both of us.

"How come you’ve never seen them play?" I ask her.

She laughs in response. "Back when I used to visit more, they pretty much sucked. I don’t think they could get many shows. I guess now they’ve changed," she says shrugging.

I smile as I take a sip of my beer. "I don’t know what they were like before, but I can say that they are amazing now."

Mia turns to me. "My brother thinks you are amazing Ash," she says simply, her blue eyes looking straight at me, exactly like Luke does.

I nearly choke on my beer. "What?"

"My brother thinks you’re amazing," she says again, shrugging as if it’s no big deal. "He’s crazy about you, anyone can see that."

I’m standing there just staring at her. I don’t know what to say. "What?" is all I can manage again.

She just smiles at me and then Infinity comes on and starts to play and I can’t ask anything more.

I watch Mia as she starts to see exactly what her brother can do now. She’s wearing a look of complete pride, like she’s known it all along and now she’s just finally seeing the proof. I can’t resist leaning over between songs and asking her, "What do you think?"

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