I took a deep breath and nodded like he could see me. “I’ll call when I make it there.”
As soon as I hung up, a flash of heat made my face sweat. I didn’t want to do this. In my heart, I knew I’d never experienced love like this before AJ and never would after him for a reason – there was no one else out there for me but him.
The sky is blue.
The earth orbits the sun.
AJ is the love of my life.
I was equally sure of the truth behind each of these facts.
When I walked into the lobby of his office building I was still fanning myself, avoiding the questions and second guessing going on inside my head. I sent him a text to let him know that I was on my way up before pressing the button on the elevator that would take me to the seventh floor.
I found him waiting there for me as the doors parted again, expressionless at first, but managing a weak smile when he greeted me.
I cleared my throat and smiled back a little. “I’m not gonna get you in trouble or anything by coming here, am I?” I whispered as we walked down a narrow hallway toward a set of frosted, glass double-doors with the name of his father’s company etched on both.
“Of course not; it’s fine,” he replied while pulling the silver handle to let me pass through the doors first.
He addressed one of his employees briefly, talking a bunch of industry mumbo-jumbo that I didn’t understand, while I stood by silently. More and more, I was beginning to think that I should’ve just gone to his loft and taken care of this the night before instead of his place of business, but it was too late for that now.
We walked to an office just around the corner from the cubicles where the others worked. Once I followed him inside, he closed the door behind us. I looked over his surroundings and was surprised at how together this place was. He had me thinking things were in disarray and I naturally assumed that his father had situated him in an old, dated building in need of major updates, but this place was anything but that. The large window behind AJ’s desk, heavy wooden bookcases lining the walls, and the separate sitting area in the corner gave me the feeling of being in an upscale office with a very important businessman – which I clearly was.
“This is nice,” I said nervously, still looking around.
AJ folded his arms over his chest and shrugged, responding with a very modest, “It’s ok, I guess.”
I took a few steps toward the chair beside where he rested against the edge of his desk, and I sat. I clasped my hands together in front of me to keep them from shaking, but it didn’t work. With him standing there in front of me, I have to admit that I faltered a little. Sure, once this was over I’d miss him, but I was doing the right thing.
I’d allowed myself to pretend that Kira wasn’t part of the equation because she wasn’t an immediate issue. However, the fact of the matter was, before I came back into the picture, AJ was ready to fully commit to her. I’m woman enough to admit that I envied Kira in many ways – because she’d had the sense to snatch him up when she did, and because she’d essentially be living the life with him that I was supposed to have. Did I have a right to be jealous? Technically, no….but try explaining that to my heart.
“Work went okay?” AJ asked, when I failed to speak.
I nodded. “It did.”
He stared at me and I could feel it despite the fact that I couldn’t meet his gaze.
When he sighed and repositioned himself, I felt the atmosphere in the room getting ready to shift. “I know why you’re here,” he stated flatly, stealing my breath away as panic stepped in. I had plans to lead into this conversation gradually, but it sounded like he was getting ready to jump right in.
I lowered my head as my heart sank to the floor. He knew. A whirlwind of emotion almost swept me up, but I held it together, reminding myself that this had to be done. His stare burned a hole through me, but I tried to fight it.
“AJ I –“