The buckle of his belt clanked against the desk when he pushed in one last time. My blouse had come untucked and somehow my necklace was now hanging down my back instead of against my chest. Knowing that we’d have to hustle, I accepted a few of AJ’s sensual kisses and then hopped down from his desk. He let me use his private restroom first to clean up, and then went in to do what little washing he could before having to hightail it to his plane.
“You should ride to the airport with me if you’re not doing anything else,” he suggested, slipping back into the suit jacket that hung on the coat tree near the door.
I put my shoes back on and nodded while still buried deep in thought, agreeing to accompany him. I watched while he readjusted his tie and then retrieved the overnight bag that sat at the back of his closet. After straightening my clothes one last time, I followed AJ out into the main part of the office, acknowledging the fact that I’d achieved nothing by coming here other than making it clear to us both that I wasn’t going anywhere.
We rode the elevator to the first floor and hopped in a cab. The entire ride, AJ and I sat in silence, our fingers interlocked as we gazed out opposite windows. I have no clue what was going through his head, but I felt stuck – stuck to him, stuck in this. Under different circumstances, that wouldn’t have been a bad thing.
In front of the airport the driver sat quietly, waiting for AJ and me to make a move, or at least pay him. Before parting ways, AJ leaned in and kissed me twice and then stared.
“Stay up, okay? I’m gonna call you later so we can talk,” he promised, but I’d already decided not to hold it against him if he wasn’t able to find the time or the privacy to follow through.
I nodded and let his fingers slip from mine as he climbed out of the cab after paying the driver for the ride and also to take me to my apartment. AJ looked back before disappearing inside. I waved, letting him know that it was okay for him to go, but when he was gone, I fought to put my emotions into perspective.
There I sat, alone in a cab, watching the man I loved getting ready to board a plane, knowing that another woman would be there to greet him when he landed. The driver glanced at me from the rearview mirror as I brushed away the few tears I shed, realizing that this was what I chose. By not telling AJ that I couldn’t do this, that it was over between us, I’d sealed my own fate. Whatever happened from this point, I’d have to live with knowing that it could’ve all been avoided if I’d just had the strength to live without him.
Unfortunately for me…that just wasn’t an option.
Chapter Nineteen
AJ
A sense of dread accompanied the sound of the landing-gear coming into contact with the runway. The amount of lies that I’d have to tell tonight and tomorrow alone would be staggering. I could feel it. No longer able to put it off, I exited and made my way outside to meet Kira.
Her face lit up the second she saw me and it was harder than I thought to look her in the eyes, but I did it – faked a smile and everything. She kissed my cheek, but I managed to turn away before she caught my lips. I returned her embrace, surprised at how foreign it felt holding her. I’d become accustomed to feelings Sam’s feminine curves pressed against me when we hugged. The full breasts, hips, thighs – all of that was absent now with Kira in my arms. It almost felt like I’d break her if I squeezed too hard.
“I missed you so much,” she said, still holding on.
“I missed you too,” I replied, wondering if Sam’s perfume was still embedded in my shirt.
Kira stepped back, smiled up at me again, and then took my hand. We walked to her car and I already felt my palms sweating, wondering what we’d talk about while we drove to the house.
“Three more weeks and we won’t have to do this anymore!” she beamed.
I whipped my head in her direction when she reminded me how quickly her time in Fairfax was coming to an end. Soon, she’d be there with me in New York on a permanent basis. When the polite expression slipped from my face, I turned to stare out the window instead.