“But I didn’t want to put you in that position. You would’ve had to lie to Terrence and you would’ve resented me for that.” Hopefully she understood why this situation was different from any other that we’d ever faced together.
“But why him? What happened between you and Antonio that you all of a sudden don’t wanna be with him anymore? It doesn’t make sense.” She shook her head.
“Nothing happened. He didn’t do anything. It….I…..We….” This was so hard to explain because it didn’t fully make sense to me either. “Sometimes things happen that you don’t see coming. You get blindsided and this was kind of like that.” She stared at me, trying to see where I was coming from. “I don’t expect you to understand, but I just need to know where this leaves us?” I asked.
“I don’t really know. This just doesn’t feel right to me. You’re my girl and all, but…” She didn’t finish her statement. After staring at me for a few seconds she turned to go back into Ms. Jamison’s class, leaving me there alone trying to figure out where we were headed.
At the end of the day, I went to my locker expecting to find Antonio waiting there for me, but was jerked back to reality when I realized that he wouldn’t be meeting me there ever again. I tried my best to suppress my sadness as I grabbed the rest of my things, slammed my locker shut, and headed toward my car. I heard AJ call my name from somewhere behind me and I stopped to wait.
As I watched him approach me, I wanted to be in his arms and stay there until I forgot about everything that went wrong. He was my own personal refuge, and as if he’d read my mind, he embraced me. A minute passed before either of us let go; in that instant I felt as if everything that I’d been through was absolutely worth it. I loved him and he was exactly what I wanted.
*****
I finished my homework early, so by 5:30 I had nothing to do. I organized my desk, throwing away any old papers that I could find. My CD’s were scattered on the entertainment center, so I straightened them too. Cleaning was supposed to keep me busy, but I found that my thoughts were fixed on AJ regardless. A smile crossed my face as images of him flooded my mind. I thought of the way he’d kissed me that night in the rain and of gripping his hair in my hands as his lips moved with mine. I needed to see him again, so I sent him a quick message.
“What’re u doin’?” I sat my phone down on my bed and finished organizing my CD’s.
A minute or two later, he responded. “Homework and missing u. what r u doing?
“Cleaning up my room. Miss u 2,” I replied.
“I want 2 c u,” he said, beating me to the punch.
“I know, I was thinking the same thing.”
“What time do ur parents usually go 2 sleep?” He asked.
“About 11……Y?”
“Meet me at 12,” he suggested.
“?”
“Just go 2 the corner and I’ll b there.”
His offer was tempting, but I’d never tried to sneak out of the house before. “I can’t.”
“Sure u can.”
“No really. I’ll get in trouble,” I said as I tried desperately to resist him.
“Not if you don’t get caught,” he retorted, bringing a smile to my face.
It seemed way too risky and I’d never live it down if I got caught. But I couldn’t fight the urge to see him, so I bit down on my lip nervously and went against my better judgment and replied,“Ok.”
“C U at 12,” he responded.